Manage Anxiety in Your ADHD Kids

This month’s blog is actually an interview that I had with the team at ImpactADHD. com. It focuses on building resilience and competency as a way to help ADHD kids manage their anxiety.  Check it out!  http://impactadhd.com/manage-emotions-and-impulses/kids-with-anxiety/

Does your child have an accurate ADHD diagnosis?

Recently, a study by the George Washington University Institute of Public Health reported that 12% of U.S. children, a whopping 5.7 millionDiagnose U.S. children ages 5-17, were diagnosed with ADHD in 2011, across all ethnic groups. This is a significant jump since the last time this population was studied in 2003. In fact, a 43% increase. The study also found that more girls have been diagnosed–up from 4.3% in 2003 to 7.3% in 2011–while the rates for boys remained steady. The study did not look into underlying causes for this increase but suggested it could be due to the tendency to over-diagnose and recommended more research.

How you can make sure that your child has an accurate ADHD diagnosis? Generally, there are three common routes leading to an ADHD diagnosis: via your pediatrician, via a psychotherapist or via the child’s school. Whichever route you choose, I want to put in a plug for psychological or educational evaluations. Testing can be a great way to understand how your child’s brain
works more in depth, how they are performing academically and what is going on emotionally. Only certified school psychologists and licensed psychologists (or neuropsychologists) are trained to and do these types of evaluations. You can go through your public school system for an evaluation. Or, you may decide 
to see someone in private practice. Both options, although different in terms of cost, time and depth of analysis, are beneficial. Sometimes health insurance companies will pay for testing but not always. Personally, I think these evaluationsPsychometrics Word Cloud Concept, however obtained, are absolutely worth it. The comprehensive information that you gain from these reports can be tremendously helpful to everyone–parents, kids, teachers. They assist you in specifically understanding how ADHD affects the brain, behavior and emotion of your child and can validate that she or he really has it. 

Of course, pediatricians are absolutely helpful and well-informed in the diagnosis process and often they are the first people many parents talk to about ADHD. To make an ADHD diagnosis, they usually rely on speaking with you to get a sense of what is going on with your son or daughter (including gathering additional developmental or family history) and giving you some forms for you and the school to fill out. The Vanderbilt, Conors and BASC scales are common ones. Based on that information and any other relevant information that you have, your doctor will make a diagnosis. Many mental health practitioners do something similar and lots and lots of experts think these are sufficient, which they often are.

But, in light of the statistics at the top of this post, what could be happening differently? Most parents want to be sure that their kids have ADHD before giving them medication, putting them in special classes or getting them expensive tutors etc. I think testing provides you with the extra information that promotes a fuller understanding of what is going on for your child. Many pediatricians and mental health practitioners recommend it but some do not. I think reliable testing and valid interpretations of the results could make a big difference.

Today, my goal is to encourage you to obtain testing, if you haven’t already, and especially if you are uncertain that your child has been correctly diagnosed. I have seen numerous families in my practice be reassured and enlightened by the results, even though they can be complicated and sometimes overly focussed on weaknesses and problems. While the process of getting tested may be cumbersome, I believe the pros outweigh the cons. If you think your child may be incorrectly diagnosed, I encourage you to speak to your pediatrician or school psychologist and arrange for a formal evaluation.

Four children in the library

Making the most out of 2014

Happy new year! As we welcome 2014, many of us are thinking about how to make this year as good as or better than the last. What changes do we want to see for ourselves and for our children? Usually, people with ADHD/ADD can quickly create a list of several things about themselves that they don’t like and would like to improve. But several is too many. This year, 2014, let’s pick just ONE thing to focus on and do it really well!Making the most out of 2014

First, look around your life–your house, your job, your relationships, your habits and start of list of things you want to change, brainstorming up to 5 items. You can do this with your child or teen too but keep the limit to 3 items because we don’t want to overwhelm them with negativity or what’s wrong with them. It’s important to emphasize changing behaviors not personal flaws. This can be a useful family exercise too as you model for your child or teen that everyone has aspects of his or her life that can benefit from some tinkering.

Secondly, examine your list closely. Rule out items that are just pure fantasy. Look at the ones that are general or vague and make them more specific. For example, being more organized is a great goal but it isn’t precise enough to lead you or your child to do anything differently. Being more organized with my homework; being more organized about my bills; being more organized with my clothes: these are all more exact and will likely result in more success. You can create a program for something specific and actually accomplish it.

Thirdly, pick ONE thing from your list and have your son or daughter do the same. This could be the item that is screaming “Arrggh, don’t pick me” or “I hate this so I am not going to pick it” or “Yes, I have been putting this off for months (or years) so now is the time to go for it.” Examine this item closely. Is it do-able? Do you need help or support to accomplish it? Who could assist you? If your teen wants to be more organized about his notebook, how could you or someone he knows help him with making a plan for this? What does ONGOING support look like? If you want to clean up your basement, do you need a friend to aide you in deciding what to keep and what to give or throw away? Can you make an accurate schedule to tackle one area at a time?

Finally, the key to being successful with your ONE new year’s resolution is to STICK WITH IT. Create a time frame for yourself or your child and rely on it. Use technology for reminders such as making a repeating calendar item to check up on that notebook or spend 2 hours in the basement. Don’t give up when it becomes hard or you forget to do it. Recalibrate and start again. You have the whole year.

Using Technology as Friend Not Foe

Everybody needs reminders sometimes. Children and teens with ADHD seem to need more reminders than other youngsters and often feel like they are being nagged. Technology, although a frequent source of distraction, can be extremely helpful in providing kids with ADHD the cues they need and reduce the “nagging” factor. Parents and educators can use cell phones, iPods to help kids improve their organization, reduce forgetfulness and learn to be more independent.Boy in headphones looking tablet computer on the nature

If someone has a phone or an iPod, then s/he has an aide that they carry around constantly. I rarely come across a teen who doesn’t know where the phone is at all times. A child with an iPod is equally attached to his/her electronic device. Use the phone or iPod as the reminder machine so you don’t have to do this. Set alarms for chores, homework times, work breaks, appointments and even turning in assignments. Pick ONE and only one task that your teen or child forgets to do and set the alarm for that event. Watch him/her set it up so that the alarm has a label related to the task. Make sure all adults who interact with the youngster throughout the day understand the reminder program that you are starting. This alarm will then cue the teen to do the expected task.

When you have success with this one thing, then you can add in another, but NO MORE than three per day. By having the technology do the cuing, then you are teaching self-reliance and building self-esteem simultaneously. You will support changes in behaviors without running them.

Spring Cleaning: Moving Stuff OUT

As the trees and flowers begin to bloom, many parents take a look around their homes and long to clean out the family nest. Sometimes, the task seems just too overwhelming and you don’t get any further than a big sigh. Garage Sale BoxAt other times, you start with the best intentions but can’t get past the battles about what to keep and what to get rid of. Here are some simple steps that you can use to organize the belongings of your children or teens this spring (and maybe even your own)!

The path to organizing success involves the 3 P’s: patience, perseverance and practice. It requires a sense of humor and the ability to keep focused on your goal. Improve collaboration with your son or daughter and avoid power struggles by using the following steps:

1. Choose your target carefully. Make it manageable and give it a specific period of time. For example, go for cleaning out JUST the closet and give yourself a limit of around an hour. Or, concentrate on picking things off the floor and do the closet on a different day. Keep track of the time so you don’t run out!

2. Engage your child or teen in the process, using incentives. This means offering your child or teen something s/he may want to do as a reward for working with you on this project. Examples may include extra screen time (tv or computer or gaming systems), fun activity (biking, board games, playing sports), time with friends or a special food treat.

3. Get 4 bags and label each one: “keep”, “trash”, “give away”, “unsure”. Divide the STUFF into these bags. If your child or teen has trouble with letting go of belongings, help him or her make choices by talking about what is really being used and how someone else might want what your son or daughter does not.Cleaning my room

When you have your 4 bags, go through the “unsure” bag carefully one more time, putting its contents in the other 3 bags. Then put away the “keep” items immediately and deal with the “trash” and “give away” bags. Remember it is critical to value what you have done together. Look at your accomplishment and congratulate yourselves on the success of your efforts!!