ADHD Tips for Kids & Adults: Improve Brain Focus & Productivity

.Man multitasking at desk Can you relate to this scenario? You’re in the kitchen at 6 p.m. trying to prepare dinner while talking on the phone using your earpods and looking at texts periodically when a notification appears. Meanwhile, your teenage son watches television while doing math homework and checking Facebook. At this moment, you are all being hijacked by your devices into thinking all these tasks can be done simultaneously. However, your brains are not fooled. Multitasking doesn’t exist in the brain, and the myth that we can do multiple things simultaneously is untrue. Multitasking, especially involving technology, slows productivity, changes how we absorb information, and can increase superficiality in social relationships. 

The Effects of Multitasking

Mom multitasking while dad is in the back working with the kidsWhen we multitask, we are simply splitting our attention. Each time we switch from one task to another, we’re not concentrating on either charge, and our body needs a mental warm-up to resume the suspended task. In addition, while multitasking, our bodies become over-activated and addicted to constant stimulation, our stress hormones rise with every text or email alert, exhaust the connections between different parts of our brain and increase our susceptibility to illness, accidents, and inattentiveness. Dr. Daniel Goleman (2013) wrote in his book, Focus that it can take anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes to regain complete focus from these regular disruptions. Efficiency goes down—productivity decreases. You likely get less done in all areas and probably feel more depleted. A recent study in the Nature journal found that heavier media multitasking is associated with a higher tendency to have attention lapses and forget things. For adults with ADHD who already struggle with working memory and processing speed issues, media multitasking can have serious, if not dire, consequences.  Media multitasking is part of the new ‘normal’ today. It is no longer considered rude to turn our attention away from someone we are talking to and respond to a cell phone call. Or to participate in a meeting and be engaged in other tabs or emailing someone simultaneously. We have “novelty detectors” in our brains that activate each time these technology devices “ping.” This activation occurs in the brain’s dopamine pathway, which manages pleasure, attention, and addiction. These pings, deliver messages that we want to hear. But also pulls on our attention becoming an addiction for us.

Sensory Overload in ADHD Brains

Brain swirling and multitasking ADHD brains, already taxed by executive functioning challenges and prone to seeking out high dopamine activities, are biologically primed for the increased adrenaline and cortisol these notifications deliver. Does this mean you shouldn’t listen to music while you work on a project or rely on brown noise to soothe the buzzing in your head? No. I’m talking about the process of switching back and forth from tab to tab, from device to device, and from one sensory overload to another. These patterns overwhelm all brains but particularly those that are neurodivergent.

Opt for a Single Task

Woman writing and working on the computerWhat can we do about this unhealthy trend that promotes disconnection from ourselves and each other? Opt for single-tasking as often as possible. I struggle with this. Like you, I’ve got a lot to do each day. It’s easier if I talk on the phone when I walk my dog or create a presentation while checking my email every hour so it doesn’t accumulate. But I’m simply shredding my attention when I do this because I’m not present for either task. I can feel the stress increase. Can you? It feels like a bad habit I need to stop, but sometimes I just can’t.  Recently, I spent a Saturday at a writing workshop. I intentionally closed all of my Google Drive tabs except those on my Google drive, except the ones related to the story I was working on. I turned off the ringer on my phone and checked for texts only before meals. Although it was tough initially, I soon found myself relieved and free to think only about the writing project. My shoulders relaxed, and I got a lot done. I’ve been trying to carry this forward with me since then, but it’s two steps ahead and one step back. When it works, my concentration is more substantial, and I feel calmer.  You may or may not be able to eliminate your media multitasking habits, but if you can make even a tiny change, I think you’ll find a difference in your ability to perform better and feel less stressed. Here are a few suggestions for you.

Steps to Improve Brain Focus & Productivity

1. Make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time

This means noticing when you are multitasking and pausing to stop engaging in one of your activities. Last week I saw someone talking on his cell phone while biking- YIKESJust last week, I saw someone talking on his cell phone when he was biking–YIKES! Examples include no texting while driving (“Almost 9% of all fatalities are linked to distracted driving”) or no phones during family meals. How about using the time when you are doing chores or helping your kids with homework to connect and take a phone break?  It’s not easy to do, but the pay-offs will increase sanity and calm for you, them and your household. By the way, listening to music while doing something, interestingly enough, didn’t seem to be included in the multitasking/information overload processes I read about for this blog.

 2. Turn off your cell phone when you are working

Power cell phone off It’s one thing to listen to music and go for a run. It’s something else to receive texts or social media notifications throughout work. Your concentration and productivity gets disrupted, and the quality of your work suffers when this happens. If you are worried about missing an emergency, set a timer to check your phone regularly set a timer to check your phone at regular intervals. It’s the ping, ping, ping which activates your stress response, throws off your focus, and increases your distractibility  to other interruptions.  Instead, use a timer for whatever break you need between your work periods to mark its beginning and end. 

3. Close unnecessary tabs and create separate browsers

This is a hard one for many folks with ADHD. One idea can lead to another, and then suddenly, you have 30 (or more) tabs open. Do you feel more or less stressed when you look at the top of your screen and see all those tabs? It increases my anxiety because I’m now looking at an extensive array of things that I ‘should’ pay attention to. Ask yourself, how many open tabs can you handle without feeling overwhelmed? Once or twice a day, reduce your tabs to that number. If you are worried you will forget something important if the tab is closed, add it to a bookmarked folder. Then you can return to it later. Similarly, divide your interests into two browsers: Separating home and work stuff can lower your multitasking tendencies. When you are at work, close the other browser, opening it during breaks only with a timer to limit yourself. Remember your goal is increased productivity, not going down rabbit holes. 

4. Engage in conversations when you are not distracted by your phone

Men talking to each otherIt doesn’t feel good to anybody to have someone turn their attention away from a conversation. Their phone is buzzing while you are in the middle of saying something that you think is valuable. Yes, it may be the custom now, but, each time you do this, you signal that your phone is more important. This is especially true when parents turn away from their children to their phones. It may look like multitasking, but it’s more like dismissing: you turn away from your loved one towards the digital universe. I struggle with this as a parent, and I also know how it feels as a child. When I visit my aging father (who lives several hours away) and he’s playing around with his iPad while talking to me, I feel hurt. Didn’t I just travel here to see and connect with you? Does this happen in your family or at your job? How does single-tasking, paying more attention to the conversation affect your participation? Do yourself a favor and take some time to reflect on the benefits of doing fewer things simultaneously, even if it feels strange or uncomfortable. When you set limits around multitasking, no matter how small, you will start to give your ADHD brain more time and space to process and retain information, produce a higher quality of work, and show up genuinely for colleagues, friends, and family. Model this change in behavior for your kids and stick by the guidelines that you want them to follow. As you shift your patterns, you’ll decrease information and emotional overload and build cognitive strengths like improved focus, attention, and memory. Reducing media multitasking takes practice and persistence. Throw in a bit of self-compassion because this is a daunting process. Start slowly, and don’t give up!

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Giving Thanks: 3 Ways to Express Gratitude During the Holidays

woman making heart sign with her hands expressing gratitudeWhat better way to kick off the holiday season than by reflecting on what we are thankful for? Taking a moment to consider what you are grateful for and expressing appreciation will nourish and sustain your spirit and foster calm. It also strengthens your relationships with people in your life and boosts your self-esteem. Sometimes adults (and kids) living with ADHD get down on themselves and allow critical self-talk to take over. When that happens, it’s all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity and overfocus on what’s wrong or missing in your life. Practicing gratitude helps spotlight what’s going well, counteracting those troubling emotions. Read my new blog to learn three main ways you and your family can harness gratitude during the holidays–every day. (5-minute read)

1. Acknowledge the good

hand holding marker writing in gratitude journalWe all live busy, hectic lives, and often our attention is focused on problems, disappointments, and hardships. It requires deliberate effort to pause and consider what’s going right and how the people in our lives are making a positive difference. Carve out a little time in your week to try journaling. This will help you focus on the good in your life and process how you feel about it.

Journaling 101

As an exercise in gratitude, start by listing 3 positive things, big or small, and why they make you feel good. Here are some examples to help you get started: Example 1: “I showed up on time to several meetings this week with the help of alarms and reminders. It feels nice to have time to settle in instead of rushing into the conference room late and having everyone stare at me.” Example 2: “I appreciate what a good listener my grandma is. I can share all my thoughts with her (even the weird and awkward stuff), and I always feel heard and loved. Plus, her oatmeal cookies are the best!” Example 3: “I didn’t expect to be invited to my neighbor’s birthday party but was glad to be included. I could go home any time, which took a lot of pressure off. I even made a new friend!”

2. Appreciate yourself

young man smiling in self-acceptanceAppreciating yourself and your gifts goes a long way toward self-acceptance. We all have wonderful qualities, talents, and strengths. Everyone is special and unique in their own way, so don’t fall into the compare and despair trap. Instead of looking at others and worrying whether you measure up, appreciate who YOU are. Consider asking a trustworthy friend, loved one, therapist, or coach where they think your strengths lie if you can’t decipher them for yourself. Then, let in what they say. So many people with and without ADHD quickly dismiss the positive things other people say to them.  And while you’re at it, if you feel comfortable, share something you admire about them too. Notice the ensuing connection and the ways that you both feel uplifted by this conversation.  So instead of beating yourself up for what you’re not, celebrate all you are.

3. Express gratitude toward others

younger and older woman smiling at each other and holding hands expressing gratitudeThe holidays are a time to recognize the importance of giving thanks to the important people in our lives. Giving thanks is an act of kindness and an expression of caring. It fosters integrity, generosity, and closeness.  Take some time to think about the people who bring you joy, are supportive, or love you for who you are. It could be a friend, relative, coach, mentor, or manager. Consider and appreciate these people for being part of your support team, a precious resource that sustains you daily. How could you express gratitude towards them and show them how much they mean to you? This might be a written note, an act of service, or a heartfelt conversation. Going the extra mile and showing your appreciation with a caring gesture will make both of you feel good. I, too, would like to express my gratitude to each of you who are part of my ADHD community.thank you card with fall leaves and pine cones Thank you for reading, watching, listening, and sharing. Your support and positive feedback inspire me every day. As I write this, I am on the airplane returning from the International ADHD Conference in Dallas. My heart is filled with the strength, authenticity, warmth, and humor of an amazing group of people (at the conference and beyond) who think outside-of-the-box, seek to learn more about neurodiversity, and want to live the best versions of themselves. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Your courage and honesty impress me every day. 

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Tired of Wasting Time? Overcome ADHD Task Paralysis Today with 3 Proven Strategies

overwhelmed man holding head in hands surrounded by packing boxes, dishes and booksDo you ever face a task you know you need to do but feel frozen to begin? Task paralysis comes from a combination of being overwhelmed by what’s in front of you, disinterest in the task itself, and a negative expectation that you can actually accomplish it. You may feel profoundly stuck and judge yourself harshly for this too. Folks with ADHD are particularly prone to task paralysis. This is because they often have challenges with initiation, organization, prioritization, sustained focus, and performance anxiety. Of course, stress, worry, and low self-esteem negatively affect anybody’s ability to concentrate. Still, when you add the natural executive functioning challenges that come with having ADHD, it’s even tougher to overcome the hurdles to start, stick with and finish projects, reports, or homework. The likely result is procrastination and avoidance, which only prolongs the inactivity. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break. Fortunately, there are some proven strategies to reduce ADHD task paralysis so that you can feel more productive, more effective, and more regulated. 

What is ADHD Task Paralysis?

stressed woman in front of computer surrounded by laundry, dishes and food Simply put, task paralysis is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed and stuck and unable to do the work you need to do. Planning and executing tasks is particularly challenging for people living with ADHD, so you may find yourself too often unable to start something or know how to move forward–whether or not you like the task. Negative self-talk may also fill you with dread and make you think you’ll fail at whatever work you’re supposed to do. Or you may feel the task itself is boring or unpleasant, so why bother doing it in the first place? As a result, you delay, avoid, or ignore the task. You know it must be done, but with little motivation and a sense of dread, stress and anxiety creep up, leading to more overwhelm.

Help yourself get unstuck.

Whether it’s work, school, or family life, getting bogged down by task paralysis is tough. Fear of failure or intense uncertainty can freeze you up and get in the way of performing activities at work or home the way you would like. Here are three strategies to help you overcome feeling stuck and start getting things done.

1. Break things down to improve your ability to start something

Whether you have a huge tasks to tackle or just a few things that feel enormous, breaking things down into smaller, manageable chunks will bring a lot of relief. Why does this work? With executive functioning challenges accompanying ADHD, you’ll feel a sense of progress when you can begin to work on things you can accomplish. Then, you’ll start to feel like the ball is rolling instead of being stuck in a mound of snow. This movement is in itself encouraging and starts to build the momentum you need to keep going.

checking things of a list with markerHow To Start!

Start by making a big list based on a brain dump. Then take a single item, put it on a separate page and separate that into parts. Work your way through one step at a time. Staying organized and then enjoying the satisfaction of checking off completed items is not only gratifying but also productive. 

Example 1: Tidy up the kitchen

  • Fill the dishwasher
  • Wipe the counters
  • Put food away into cabinets/refrigerator
  • Sweep the floor

Example 2: Write a report 

  • Collect necessary materials
  • Write an outline that includes sections for different topics
  • Create a quiet work space and use music or brown noise to enhance concentration
  • Use the Pomodoro method to structure work periods and short break times.
  • When you finish a chunk of work, take a longer, timed break to integrate mentally what you’ve accomplished.

Remember that progress counts more than perfection. Perfection is impossible to achieve, and if that’s your goal, it’s easy to freeze up out of fear of not achieving it. Instead, focus on shorter, reasonable goals that you can actually meet. Making some amount of progress on a task is always better than striving for perfection and getting nothing done.

2. Motivate yourself with meaningful incentives

It’s difficult for the ADHD brain to get energized to do uninteresting tasks. Effective incentives (rewards) foster motivation and goal-directed persistence. When you build in little rewards such as a coffee break or a walk around the office and leave yourself a note that guides you back into the flow when you return, you make doing the smaller, attainable task more tolerable and even pleasant. Plus, you’ll make more effective progress. If you dread doing laundry or washing dishes, why not put on upbeat music or listen to an interesting podcast or audio book? If putting together a presentation is a slog, make it more enjoyable by drinking your favorite beverage while you’re working on it and set up an accountability buddy to do some co-working.  Many adults (and kids) with ADHD perform better on projects if they are not alone. Make an accurate assessment of how long you can concentrate before you need a break and work within those time intervals. Plan on a 5 minute break after a shorter chunk (30-45 minutes) and then a longer break after a bigger chunk (60 to 90 minutes). Stretch, walk around the block, have a meal or chat with a friend. These active breaks will replenish you and provide a much-needed energy boost.

3. Improve focus by noticing where it is–and isn’t

Focus is a dynamic process of choosing what is important to notice, do, or recall. When you find yourself frozen in a state of inaction, your mind is likely spinning and reacting to stress. Focus goes out the window. Multitasking may also interfere with your ability to fully pay attention to any one thing and increase feelings of overwhelm. Think of focus as the spotlight of your attention. Notice where it is directed and where you would like it to point. Improve your focus on the task at hand by establishing routines that structure your time and manage interruptions and distractions. Turn off notifications on your phone. Set up a separate browser for work stuff and for everything else.  Routines Build HabitsWhen you come back from drifting off (which your ADHD brain will naturally do), be kind to yourself. Look around for signals that can re-engage in what’s going on. Routines build habits and these assist you in preparing for how to manage the present effectively and for what’s ahead. They help to fill in the gaps where your working memory may lapse. Keep these routines simple and include time for transitions as well as basic organization so you sit down to work with a tidy desk. For example, when you arrive at work or begin a project, budget in 30 minutes for settling in and set a timer to do this. With increased focus, you’ll feel more productive and calm. No matter how much you struggle with ADHD task paralysis, try to remember that this moment of inertia, dread or procrastination will pass. If you use some of these strategies, you’ll become unstuck and in motion. This feeling of activity will help you move forward, one steady step at a time.

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5 Better Ways To Talk To Kids About Bad Grades On Report Cards — Without Shame

5 Better Ways To Talk To Kids About Bad Grades On Report Cards — Without Shame

School is often the toughest area of functioning for neurodivergent kids and teens because academic performance requires using all of the executive functioning skills with which they struggle. For neurodivergent learners classes can be interesting, compelling, boring, and/or frustrating.

Read More>>

 

The Myth of Multitasking & Ways to Create Better Routines that Help you Feel Less Stressed and Anxious

Woman MultitaskingCan you relate to the following scenario? You are in the kitchen trying to prepare dinner while you are talking on the phone and checking your texts as soon as a notification appears. Meanwhile, your teenage son is watching television while doing math homework and constantly checking Instagram. We are all hijacked by our devices into thinking that we can do all of these tasks simultaneously and well, but this is not true, especially for those of us with ADHD. In fact, multitasking usually slows productivity, changes how we absorb information, and interferes with social relationships, especially if our attention is split by our devices. The use of technology in our lives is here to stay. It is up to us to learn to manage it effectively. We can do so by reducing multitasking and building habits which improve productivity, organization and focus.

Why Multitasking is a Myth

The belief that we can effectively do multiple things simultaneously is simply untrue. When you multitask, you are simply splitting our attention. Each time you switch from one thing to another, you’re not really concentrating on either task and then need a mental warm-up to resume the suspended task. Efficiency goes down. Productivity decreases. You likely get less done and feel more depleted as a result. In fact, a recent study in the journal, Nature, found that heavier media multitasking is associated with a higher likelihood for attention lapses and forgetfulness. For adults with ADHD who already struggle with working memory and/or processing speed issues, media multitasking can have serious, if not dire, consequences. 

Media Multitasking and ADHD

graphic of brain drawn inside yellow head with scribbles, question marks and exclamation points around it

Media multitasking is part of the new ‘normal’. It is no longer considered rude to interrupt a conversation by responding to your cell phone. It’s now acceptable to type emails in the middle of a meeting. We have “novelty detectors” in our brains that get activated each time these things “ping.” This activation occurs in the dopamine pathway of the brain which manages pleasure, attention and addiction. These pings pull our attention away but also become addictive. ADHD brains, already taxed by executive functioning challenges and prone to seeking out high dopamine activities, are biologically primed for the increased adrenaline and cortisol these notifications deliver. Does this mean you shouldn’t listen to music while you work on a project or rely on brown noise to soothe the buzzing in your head? No. What I’m talking about is the process of switching back and forth from tab to tab, from device to device, from one sensory overload to another. These patterns overwhelm all brains but particularly those that are neurodivergent.

Opt for Single-tasking Whenever Possible

What can we do about this unhealthy trend that promotes disconnection from ourselves and from each other? Opt for single tasking as often as possible. I struggle with this too. Just like you, I’ve got a lot to do each day and it’s easier if I talk on the phone when I walk my dog or create a presentation while also checking my email. But, actually, I’m simply shredding my attention when I do this because I’m not really present for either task. And this, in turn, makes me more stressed. It’s a bad habit that sometimes feels impossible to break. You may not be able to eliminate all media multitasking habits but, if you can make even a small change, you’ll be better able to perform and feel less stressed. Here are a few suggestions for how to reduce multitasking habits and create better routines which will reduce stress and anxiety.

How to reduce multitasking habits

1. Make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time

Notice when you are multitasking and stop engaging in one of those activities for a while. Examples are not texting while driving (common but extremely dangerous) and no phones during family meals. Instead, set aside some phone-free time and use it as an opportunity to connect with your family. It’s not easy to do but the pay-offs will be increased sanity and calm for you, for them, and for your household. 

2. Turn off your cell phone when you are working

cell phone with yellow don't touch post-it on itIt’s one thing to listen to music and go for a run. It’s something else to receive texts or social media notifications throughout a work period. Your concentration will be constantly disrupted and the quality of your work will suffer. If you are worried about missing an emergency, then set a timer to check your phone at regular intervals. It’s the ping, ping, ping which activates your stress response, throws off your focus and increases your distractibility and vulnerability for other interruptions.  Instead, use a timer for whatever break you need in between your work periods to mark its beginning and ending. 

3. Close unnecessary tabs and create separate browsers

This is a hard one for many folks with ADHD. One idea can lead to another and then suddenly you have 30 tabs open. Do you feel more or less stressed when you look at the top of your screen and see all of those tabs? Ask yourself, how many open tabs can you really handle without feeling overwhelmed? Once or twice a day, reduce your tabs to that number. If you are worried that you will forget something if the tab is closed, bookmark it for later. Similarly, divide your interests into two browsers: Separating home and work stuff can really lower your multitasking tendencies. When you are at work, close the other browser, opening it during breaks only with a timer to limit yourself. Remember  not going down rabbit holes. 

4. Engage in conversations when you are not distracted by your phone

parents and tow young daughters together on the couch smilingIt doesn’t feel good to anyone to be interrupted by a buzzing phone in the middle of conversation. Yes, it may be the custom now but, each time you do this, you signal that your phone is more important than the person you’re speaking with. This is especially true when parents turn away from their children to their own phones. It may look like multitasking but it’s really more like dismissing: you turn away from your loved one towards the digital universe. Notice how single tasking, and paying more attention to the conversation at hand, affects your engagement. Take some time to reflect on the benefits of doing fewer things simultaneously, even if it feels strange or uncomfortable. When you set limits around multitasking, no matter how small, you will start to give your ADHD brain more time and space to process and retain information, to produce a higher quality of work and show up genuinely for colleagues, friends and family. Model this change in behavior for your kids and stick by the guidelines yourself that you want them to follow. As you shift your habits, you’ll decrease information and emotional overload and build cognitive strengths like improved focus, attention and memory. Reducing media multitasking takes practice and persistence. Throw in a little self-compassion because this is a daunting process. Start slowly and don’t give up!  

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“My Extended Family Drives Me Crazy!” How to Guard & Protect Your Holiday Spirit

“My Extended Family Drives Me Crazy!” How to Guard & Protect Your Holiday Spirit

It’s hard to keep your emotions in check when extended family gatherings go south yet again. Learn how to avoid the holiday spiral with these self-soothing strategies.

Read More>>

Key Points:

    • Practice self-control
    • Phone a friend
    • Learn to self-soothe

Why Women with ADHD Struggle with Self-Esteem & The 5 Best Ways to Reset Self-Worth

Woman standing holding coffee cup in hand
Women carry a lot on their shoulders–from family, community, school and work responsibilities to societal expectations around physical appearance and behavior. That’s a lot of pressure. Women with ADHD, and women who care for neurodivergent children, must deal with yet another layer of stress, anxiety and self-doubt. Read more about why women with ADHD struggle with self-esteem and the five best ways you can reset your self-worth. Read more>>       Your Tango Magazine
 


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