Month: December 2019

Fatherly: 5 Ways Boredom Is Actually Great for Kids

Why does a bored kid, or the threat of a bored kid strike fear into the hearts of parents? Part of the reason is that the attention economy (aka Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, your smartphone) has erased boredom from adult lives. Parents forget the joy and benefits of a quiet moment because they are vanishingly rare. Another, more obvious reason is that a bored kid is an annoying kid. They will turn to you for stimulation (Just one more movie, pleeeease?). Don’t give it to them. Boredom is a good, even essential thing for developing brains — for all brains, really. Let us count the ways. Click logo below to read more.

NBC News: Want To Be Happier This Year?

Want to be happier this year? Mental health experts share their resolutions for a less-divisive, healthier 2020

17 therapists share their New Year’s resolutions — and how they’ll make them stick.
It’s that time of year, aka, the start of a new one, when we assess areas of our life we’d like to improve and determine to make a change. Of course, we’re talking about New Year’s resolutions, a tradition that tends to get a bit of a bad rap because such promises to ourselves can be difficult to keep.
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Remember to Celebrate Your Strengths as a Parent This Holiday season

Recently I read an article in the New York Times about Tom Hanks as he was doing interviews for the release of his new movie, “A beautiful day in the neighborhood.” He talked about a lot of things but also discussed how it’s “not easy being a parent for any of us.” He went on to say: “Somewhere along the line I figured out, the only thing, really I think a parent eventually can do is say I love you . . . I hope you will forgive me on occasion and what can I do for you? . . . I will do anything I possibly can do to keep you safe. That’s it. Offer that up and just love them.”[1] Wow. Profound advice. Just offer up your love, give them assistance in staying safe, and ask for forgiveness sometimes. I don’t think I could have articulated those core aspects of respectful, caring parenting any better. Add in a strength-based, positive psychology approach and you’ve got all the ingredients you need for terrific parenting except for one: self-Compassion. This holiday season, give yourself the gift of appreciating who you are as a parent. Acknowledge that every day you are doing the best you can with your available resources and within the demands of your busy, complicated life:  the pressures of work, the family responsibilities you manage, the frustration of raising a child who is an outside-the-box thinker. Regardless of those low moments, you’re doing so much more good with your child or teen than you may ever realize. Kids tell me repeatedly about their gratitude towards their parents, even while admitting they don’t show it often enough.

Take a quiet moment to celebrate YOU this holiday season and the many ways that you’re a terrific parent to your son or daughter with ADHD. Write down three things you feel proud of and put it in a safe place so you can look at in dark dark moment.

May you end this year with contentment for who you are and start 2020  with confidence and hope. No matter how you celebrate, I’d like to wish you health, happiness, fun and connection during this festive season. [1] Brodesser-akner, Taffy. “This Tom Hanks Story Will Help You Feel Less Bad.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 13 Nov. 2019, https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/13/movies/tom-hanks-mister-rogers.html.  

Upjourney: How to Stop Thinking or Obsessing About Someone You Hate

Not being able to get someone out of your head can be very irritating, especially if it’s someone you hate. So, how do you stop thinking about someone that you have such strong emotions about? We asked experts to share their insights. Click logo below to read more.

Plan Now for A Happier Family Holiday Season

As the holidays descend upon us, it’s time to sit down and consider how you would like the holidays to with your family. We are seduced by the Hollywood ideal of stuffed stockings hanging above a glowing fire while people joyfully drink their hot cocoa. But, is this what really happens for anyone?

When you live in a family with ADHD, the holidays can be especially complicated. Parties, sugary treats and unstructured time can combine into overwhelm, meltdowns and unpleasant conflict. How can you avoid these testy times and create a positive experience for your family?

Instead of being surprised when an eruption occurs, a little forethought can go a long way. With some preparation and some accurate predictions, you can create a plan that maximizes fun and minimizes stress. Follow these steps:

  1. Name the triggers: Consider what sets you and your kids off during this time of year? Write these down. At a quiet moment, perhaps before bed or in the car, ask your children for their opinions. Try starting with: “What are two things you are looking forward to over the holidays and two things you’re not that excited about?” Make note of their answers.
  2. Look for overlaps:  See what, if any, situations, interactions or activities people find stressful. You want to focus on reducing the intensity of these events or, if possible, eliminating them.
  3. Call a family meeting: Set aside fifteen minutes and call this meeting the NO-STRESS (your family name) HOLIDAY GUIDE. Share the similarities in everybody’s responses. Brainstorm alternative options and create reasonable BACK-UP Plans for when things are crashing. Agree on clear signals or statements for when a person wants or needs to take a break, leave the situation and benefits from adult input.
  4. Expect to remind everyone about your agreement: Before you embark on those tricky situations, review the BACK-UP Plans and remind them about the signals.
  5. Create your own strategy: Remember to have a strategy for yourself when you’re nearing the end of your rope. Make a knot and hold on. Breathe in for a count of four, hold it for four and breathe out for four.  Go outside for a breath of fresh air or visit the bathroom to splash some water on your face.
  6. Have fun! You’ve got this!

Psychology Today: Finishing Your Semester Strong

You’re tired. Tired of studying, tired of papers, presentations, tests and projects. But, sadly, you’re not done yet. The pressure is on to finish the semester strong. How can you muster the persistence and organization you need to get everything done while staying as sane as possible? Click logo below to read more.

Yahoo Lifestyle: Experts Explain How to Tell If Your Nerves Are Actually an Anxiety Disorder

Feeling nervous is a natural – though certainly unpleasant – human emotion that we all experience from time to time. Although some people are more prone to nervousness than others, everyone has dealt with that pit in their stomach before a job interview, a first date, or an important test. But while the words “nervous” and “anxious” are often used interchangeably, there’s a big difference between feeling nervous and having an anxiety disorder.

“Feeling nervous is different than feeling anxious in terms of intensity, frequency, and focus,” Sharon Saline, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and author, told POPSUGAR. She explained that nervousness is similar to anxiety in the sense that it’s experienced both cognitively and physically, but that’s about where the similarities end.

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Feeling Holiday Stress? Start caring for your mental health today!

Happiness during the holiday season for your family really depends on your ability to stay sane and stable in the midst of all of the shopping, planning and parties. When you are able to manage yourself with as much calm and clarity as possible, your son or daughter with ADHD will regulate better too. You are not only modeling for them how to regulate but why it’s helpful during busy times like these.

Good mental health during the holiday season starts NOW for the best results. The goal is to establish do-able routines for self-care now, so you will be in the habit when the stress intensifies later. Our brains need time to process the myriad of stimulating activities during this time so we don’t feel perpetually stressed, overwhelmed or burned out. Follow these tips for better self-care and, if you can, expand them to your kids too. Everyone will benefit from some time to slow down, plan ahead and focus on the important stuff. 

Follow these steps:

  1. Create a daily routine for connecting with yourself: Whether it’s going to the gym, stretching before bed, meditating, taking a hot bath, listening to favorite music or walking outside, set up a plan for doing something at least twice a week. You need this time for integration and letting go throughout the year but, during the holidays, when the emotional, physical and psychological demands are greater, it’s more important than ever. Make this activity achievable by starting off with something small that you can actually accomplish. You’ll feel nourished in a way that only you can give yourself.
  2. Take a moment and set goals for the holidays:  Instead of trying to be everywhere and everything for all of the people in your life, take a few quiet moments to reflect on what you would like to get out of this holiday season. What are your goals? What are your limits? What happened last year that worked and you’d like to repeat? What do you want to avoid?
  3. Write these down: Look at them when you’re feeling frenzied, overwhelmed or discouraged. Ask your children and partners the same questions, identify shared intentions, add those to your list and focus on making these things happen.
  4. Plan for what’s most important before shopping: You are only one person and you can’t do it all. Most people become overwhelmed because they’re not able to formulate a strategy for getting things done. Sit down with your partner and/or kids and make a list of who you want to make or purchase gifts for and what those items are. Ask your children to assist you in ways that are appropriate for their age and capability. Then assign days and blocks of time for shopping or creating.  When you have an action plan, you’ll feel more empowered and less freaked out.  

Good luck on your holiday escapades!