“Your kids need help counterbalancing the negative things they hear from others and from themselves. The ratio should be 3 positives for every 1 negative, but most kids with ADHD hear 1 positive for 10, 20, 30, even 50 negative comments in a single day.” In this free Q&A session, Dr. Sharon Saline explains why some children with ADHD say they hate school and how to help them. Click to watch>>
For many of us, this is the first holiday season we get to spend with friends and family after the past few years learning how to live a “new normal” during the pandemic. Although it made gathering difficult, it helped us realize the importance of spending time and celebrating important moments with people we love. Initially, family gatherings may feel a bit awkward after this long gap. But reviving established family traditions will not only help rebuild connections and memories for years to come. It will also help to create new traditions, both for your family and friends. Below, I have shared four meaningful and inclusive ways you can create new ADHD-friendly family fun traditions. Join my newsletter community>>
Start this process by focusing on the whole family. Include them in the planning process and see what lights people up about the holidays. What does everybody imagine would make this time special and fun? Using collaborative brainstorming techniques works most effectively for kids, teens and adults with ADHD because you can balance activity with recovery time in whatever you set up. You also want to keep things interesting with variety of new and familiar activities. Celebrating and creating family traditions is sure to put mores sparkle into the holiday season.
During the end-of-year holiday season, it’s nice to reflect on customs and traditions which make your family unique. This creates bonds and gives the younger members of the family a deeper sense of identity and connection to their heritage. It’s also just a nice way to mark the season. When you have a family tradition, you have something to plan and look forward to each year. This is very helpful for kids and teens with ADHD who tend to be concrete thinkers. The traditions offer a foothold in a holiday season that can otherwise feel overwhelming. Whether you take a trip, volunteer, bake, play games or have a movie marathon, the family has something special to focus on and contribute to year after year. You can also use this time of year as an opportunity to learn about other family customs and traditions. Do you have friends or neighbors whose holiday celebrations are different from your own? Perhaps there’s an opportunity to share in their experience, and invite them over to see how your family celebrates. This can be an enriching and rewarding experience for everyone, but especially for children. The value of learning about other people’s traditions is immense, and teaches everyone to not only accept but to also appreciate our differences and uniqueness.
Time to roll up your sleeves and get creative! Discuss as a family what types of activities or particular celebrations might be fun, meaningful and doable. Remember to accommodate the needs of members of your family with ADHD. Discuss their capacity for participation and address specific challenges related to impulse control, hyperactivity or inattention. They may get bored more easily or struggle to disengage from something fun when it’s time to leave. Together, make a plan in advance for coping with these issues when they arise so you aren’t scrambling in the midst of meltdown. Write these down and remind your kids about them beforehand. This is also a time to give back to others. See if you can incorporate helping or volunteering within your family, community, and beyond. Giving to others helps nurture both gratitude and empathy. When you think outside-of-the-box about the holidays, you can combine the traditions people love with the opportunity to apply their creative brains. This helps avoid the “same old, same old” mentality that can make some folks with ADHD dread the holiday season. Here are some ideas for fun and meaningful ADHD-friendly holiday traditions for you to consider:
It’s really important to think ahead rather than flying by the seat-of-your-pants and feeling anxious or guilty or not good enough. When you set up activities in advance, name the new ones it’s perceived as something special. This increases anticipation, buy-in and participation. Shaking things up with something new while simultaneously repeating lovely traditions is what keeps kids and adults with ADHD engaged in the holiday celebrations because there is variety. Collaborate on creative, interesting and practical ideas that will work for your family and enjoy time with friends, coworkers and loved ones. Most importantly, make sure to slow down and take a break from the day-to-day stress in your life if you can. Kick back and take that well-deserved break, whatever it may look like. During this holiday season, I wish you peace, good health and joy! We will return with our next blog January 2023.
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If you’re looking for something unique and heartwarming to give to a relative, neighbor, teacher, or friend, here are several ideas to make the holidays more enjoyable and fulfilling. Gifts for adults and kids with ADHD can seem challenging, but many of these ideas are easy and cost nothing or are extremely affordable. Read more>>
“People with inattentive ADHD are not lazy, stupid, unwilling, or oppositional. They have a biologically based challenge with attending to the task at hand, and their brains tire more quickly.” Read more>>
The holiday season is a time for giving and receiving, but a gift doesn’t have to be an item you buy or expensive to be special. Low-cost gifts can be more unique and warm the heart like no store-bought item can. That’s because these gifts require a little extra thought, creativity, and time, and with your outside-the-box ADHD thinker brain, you will be great at this. If you’re looking for something unique and heartwarming to give to a relative, neighbor, teacher, or friend, here are several ideas to make the holidays more enjoyable and fulfilling.
It’s safe to say many of us are being more careful with spending these days. But just because we’re being more cautious doesn’t mean gift-giving should be limited. It does mean it’s time to think outside the box and come up with exciting and creative ideas about what and how we give. Instead of shopping at retail stores, see if you can provide experiences, repurpose, or even regift items you never used but others would enjoy. Taking a no-or low-cost approach to gift-giving is easier on the pocketbook and more eco-friendly. That’s what I call a win-win strategy!
Have you ever noticed how kids with and without ADHD tend to be more interested in the box a toy arrived in than the toy itself? It’s reasonably common phenomenon parents chuckle about, but there’s a lot to this. A big box is exciting because it’s a blank slate, and kids with ADHD can use their active imaginations to transform it into anything they want – a race car, a play house, a cozy reading spot, or a Lego table. That’s not to say standard gifts like sports equipment, music, games, or puzzles are bad. But a gift that excites a youngster’s imagination and provides an opportunity for connecting with people in their lives is truly special.
Remember to teach your child or teen with ADHD the importance of giving and helping others. Compile a list of people they would like to do something nice for – teachers, neighbors, friends, and family members. See if your child or teen would like to make holiday cards for people on the list or bake them some homemade cookies. Volunteering over the holidays may not be feasible, but a neighbor or older relative would always appreciate a visit, a warm meal, or even a phone call. Show your kids the importance of doing for others during the holidays so they find meaning in giving and receiving.
As an adult with ADHD, you can capitalize on your unique skills and talents to create unique gifts or share experiences with friends and family. Musicians can compose a piece of music, artists can paint or sculpt something, and bakers can whip up batches of sweet treats. Remember that the holidays are about spending time with people you care about and sharing warm experiences together. The most meaningful gifts come from the heart and show the recipient you care.
See if you can encourage your family to make gifts for each other out of found objects or thrifted items. Get creative and have fun with this! Or challenge your friends to volunteer together or help in some additional capacity within your community instead of exchanging gifts. 
Remember, the best gifts are not the ones with the expensive price tag but ones that express caring, gratitude, and affection. So whatever you choose to give this holiday season, try to make it meaningful, creative, and full of love.
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Are you starting to feel stressed about the holidays? I am. This weekend as I was out doing errands, the Christmas music was loudly blaring in every store while people rushed around with lists in hand and frantic expressions. I wondered quietly why we put ourselves through this holiday stress. There has to be another way to approach the holiday season. This year, I’d like to advocate emphasizing experiences over material gifts, creating meaningful holiday traditions with people we love, and for volunteering to help those in need. If you could change one thing about how you approach this holiday season, what would it be? Believe it or not, when we race around less, we limit the overwhelming feeling that can be debilitating for those with and without ADHD. We all know this is true, and yet we still lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of shopping until we drop. While many people anticipate the excitement of the holiday season, children and adults with ADHD might be a bit overwhelmed by party planning, socializing, and last-minute shopping. During this time, you should find ways to prioritize what matters most, your mental health, fully enjoy the season, and restart the new year with a fresh and renewed mindset.
Prioritizing what matters means taking care of your well-being during these busy weeks and showing up for others. You might make a list of self-care activities and schedule it into your calendar along with the endless errands. Perhaps consider the fun factor and the role that it plays. I’m not advocating selfishness but rather healthy self-focus. Slow down when you feel activated, pause, and consider what’s happening and what would help you settle. This is showing yourself the love that lies at the heart of this season of light. If parties aren’t your thing, how about planning a hot cocoa with whipped cream at your favorite cafe? Or, maybe, a walk in the park with a single friend or relative. A drive around the neighborhood to look at the colorful lights might also boost your spirit and be a fun outing with your family. Below is expert advice on how to enjoy the holiday season without getting overwhelmed.
Forget comparisons to previous holidays and the recurring ‘should have’s of the season. Shift your focus and think a bit outside of the box. Reflect on what would make this time of year special to you. Consider what takes you into those stressful moments and identify what helps you stay more in the present. Identifying your personal goals and hopes for 2023 will bring you joy. Now go and enjoy it!
It is MORE than okay to stop operating on an “all-systems-go” battery. Keep your days simple. By this time of the year, everyone is tired and feeling drained. Brainstorm a few easy, rewarding things that don’t make you feel worn out. Plan for rest and restorative activities and put them on your calendar. When you write them down in your schedule, they are much more likely to occur.
Often the appeal of days off from work with lots of open space can diminish when the time arrives. Given the upheaval and unpredictability of the past few years, some daily routines will give just enough organization to your days and, if you’ve got kids, keep them off screens 24/7. Of course, it’s a vacation, so you don’t want to structure each day with a formal plan. But having a loose routine for your days helps you (and your kids) know what to expect and think about. I recommend something like wake up, breakfast, activity period one, lunch, activity period two, maybe a rest, dinner, and possibly a night-time outing if you’re up for it.
Be kind to yourself right now and always. Nobody can do this for you, and it’s an essential practice for living fully. There’s probably more than enough disappointment and frustration from the past eleven months (or more) to go around. Criticizing yourself adds to the dirty laundry pile instead of empowering you to toss that load into the washer. Instead, acknowledge that you, like all of us, have been doing the best you can with the available resources–today and every day. 
Remember, reflect on some things you’ve appreciated this year and be specific. Pat yourself on the back for them. When you nurture your gratitude, you counteract negative messages from others. This builds your self-esteem and reduces negativity and burnout.
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Kids with ADHD struggle with feeling time which can make thinking about the future abstract and unreal. Time management is an executive functioning skill. Learning to cope with it requires accepting your challenges and understanding that it’s constantly changing. Many people with ADHD who struggle with time management tend to do two things that don’t work. Either they underestimate how long something will take, avoiding it until the last minute and then frantically racing to finish it, or they overestimate how much time it will take, feel overwhelmed, and don’t start it. These patterns negatively affect productivity and performance while increasing stress and anxiety.
The ADHD brain is a now/not now. The brain is consistently inconsistent. Kids with ADHD have real challenges with focusing on anything other than the present moment. If the ‘now’ is fun and engaging, the ‘later’ can’t compete (it’s out of sight and out of mind). If the ‘now’ is boring and unpleasant, then the ‘later’ lacks all meaning or appeal–you can neither imagine getting through it nor feeling better once the dreaded task is complete. It’s a bit like all-or-nothing thinking combined with the flooding of intense emotions. Follow these tips for teaching your kids with ADHD to understand the future.
1. Talk about time with your child or teen 
3. Break the future down into manageable chunks 
When you engage their imagination about themselves as older or with magical powers, they can step outside of the concerns of the present into a realm of play and creativity. They are freed from logical thinking or memories of failure and have space to consider things from a different perspective. This process helps you work collaboratively on creating effective strategies for the present and the future.
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Dr. Sharon Saline, Psy. D.
43 Center Street, Suite 303
Northampton, MA 01060
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