Why delegation is hard and how to ask for help with confidence

Do you hate asking for help because it makes you look weak, helpless, or incompetent? Many adults with ADHD feel this way, and you’re not alone. You may think there’s shame in getting help because you’re worried about disappointing others or possibly failing. But when you refuse to ask for help, reject it when offered, or pretend you’ve got things covered when you don’t, you make life much harder for yourself. When adults with ADHD are overwhelmed by a task, asking for assistance is often tougher because you are unsure where to focus or how to start. It can seem like you’re climbing up Mt. Everest with no trail map or markers along the path. You’re stuck but don’t want anybody to know or see your struggle. Shame rears its ugly head and shuts you down. Learning when, how, and where to delegate can change this pattern and offer personal and professional growth opportunities. But asking for assistance can make a world of difference.

Asking for Help

Asking for assistance or delegating tasks doesn’t come easy for many of us, especially perfectionists. But living means leaning on others for support sometimes. There are times when you can’t do it alone. Becoming comfortable asking for help or offloading things to others relies on several things:

Accepting that it’s okay not to know how to do something
Accurately assessing personal strengths and limitations
Understanding that learning happens through trial-and-error experiences
Acknowledging that perfection doesn’t exist

Progress counts more than perfection every time. Perfection is impossible to achieve; if that’s your goal, it’s easy to freeze out of fear of not achieving it. Instead, focus on shorter, reasonable goals that you can meet. Making progress on a task is always better than striving for perfection and getting nothing done.

When You’re Overwhelmed by Big Feelings

Lack of clarity

Sometimes neurodivergent adults need clarification about what would be helpful. When you’re overwhelmed by big feelings, disorganization, and incomplete tasks, it’s tough to prioritize. Prioritizing relies on determining what is urgent (time-driven) and what is important (value-driven). When you are flooded emotionally or genuinely uncertain about what to do, you may reject any offers for assistance because you can’t process anything else at that moment. TOOL: Break things down. Take a large piece of work and break it up into a few smaller tasks. Name each task, determine how to complete it, and identify when things are due. Ask for assistance from an ally like a friend, relative, or coworker. Brainstorm and separate identified items into categories by subject, deadline, or complexity. Break these items into smaller steps and mark who is responsible for completing each step.

Focus on strength & authenticity

Although most adults dislike being vulnerable, it’s especially tough for those with ADHD. You’ve already spent years hearing about how you’ve missed the mark–at school, extracurriculars, work, and home. You probably believe you will mess up again. You may not trust your abilities to respond appropriately, and consider asking for help further demonstrates weakness. By refusing any support, adults with complex ADHD falsely think that they can protect themselves from feeling exposed. TOOL: Reframe vulnerability as strength. It takes courage to be accountable for your limitations and stay open to assistance. Instead of seeing help as a manifestation of weakness, focus on the strength in authenticity and knowing when you can’t do it alone. Remember that most people are kind and will be happy to aid you. They may even feel flattered that you sought them out for guidance!

Ask for assistance

Waiting for the next time they inadvertently do something ‘wrong’ and the criticism that will surely follow, many neurodiverse adults live with deep-seated and internalized shame about being ‘different’ from their peers. Whether this shame is visible or hidden, you may see any successes as short-lived and not believe that anything will make any difference. Moreover, shame prevents people from asking for support. For example, Ellie, age 27, tells me: “I’m embarrassed that I can’t do it alone, that I have a disability.” TOOL: Asking for help is not a reflection of failure but rather an act of resilience. Recall a time in the past when you struggled, asked for assistance, and pulled through. How can you link the lessons from that experience to a current situation?

Change your expectations

Nobody wants to let people down. The pressure to measure up can be intense, especially with social media driving the endless cycle of ‘compare and despair’ dynamics. Asking for help seems like opening the door to an avalanche of disappointment you would rather avoid. So, instead, you wrestle with doing things on your own, trying to get things ‘just right,’ giving up so you can’t fail, or praying for a miracle. Let’s face it; there is no perfect: everybody stumbles. The most important thing is to pick yourself back up, understand what happened, and make different choices as you learn from your experience. TOOL: Stop worrying about disappointment and pivot to what’s needed for optimum productivity and best performance. Are your expectations for yourself realistic? If not, what needs to change? Create goals that are within reach. Reduce your focus on the outcome and shift to emphasizing the process of doing something–efforting. You may not be able to do it alone. That’s okay. Who can help you, and what can they do?

Start small and build on each delegation’s success

Motivate yourself to try delegation by starting small. Sometimes it’s hard to trust that other people will follow through, and you may feel insecure. Build your confidence in others slowly by first establishing low-risk experiments on simple tasks. For example, if you’re stuck on a spreadsheet task, seek out a friend or coworker who is a spreadsheet rock star. Tell them how much you’d appreciate their expertise, and ask them to walk you through a couple of examples until you get the hang of it. Your primary goals are to relieve stress, increase productivity, and get things done simultaneously. So please be sure to recognize when you need extra help, empower yourself to ask for it, and accept it.

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ADHD and Imposter Syndrome: Stop Criticizing and Start Believing in Yourself

Do you dismiss a compliment or attribute success at your work to luck instead of your intelligence, creativity, or effort? Unfortunately, many adults (and kids) with ADHD have trouble accepting positive feedback about themselves. Years of hearing about their deficiencies or experiencing challenges related to having a neurodivergent brain lead many folks with ADHD to walk around with a persistent feeling that they are just not good enough. Perhaps you feel like an imposter. You wonder if you genuinely deserve validation or acknowledgment when good things happen. If these statements are factual, you probably struggle with imposter syndrome.

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome reflects feeling like a fraud or a phony. It comes from a sense of insecurity in your awareness or hovering just below the surface. Imposter syndrome doesn’t occur overnight. Instead, it takes years of receiving criticism and experiencing judgments for somebody to develop a core sense of deficiency. Based on evaluations, exclusion, or hostility from others as you mature, this deficiency lies at the heart of imposter syndrome. People with ADHD and without can suffer from it. This insecurity fosters pervasive self-doubt that you don’t deserve any accolades that you receive. Instead, you deem other people more worthy because of their accomplishments, confidence, or appearance. Imposter syndrome is directly related to perfectionism. Since you are not perfect and can never achieve perfection, then you are fundamentally flawed. Sadly, no success seems to lessen this wound for so many folks. Many neurodivergent teens and adults who have frequently been judged unfavorably against neurotypical standards have internalized these opinions. Despite all efforts to the contrary and any admirable achievements, you may still believe they are true. Imposter syndrome is the domain of your inner critic. It’s the voice spews negativity about simply being an outside-the-box thinker, an imperfectly perfect human like the rest of us. But this voice adds a toxic layer of insecurity: you walk around anxious that someone will discover the incompetent, foolish person you think you indeed are. You can’t assimilate the accolades your receive, no matter how much you deserve them. In addition, many people with imposter syndrome also live with a low (or overt) level of depression. There’s a mix of persistent anxiety about discovering your dark secret and hopelessness that you can never entirely change for the better. Even though its origins can make sense, given your personal history, it’s still a brutal way to treat yourself.

Manifest A Growth Mindset

I want to offer you a different approach that allows you to value and absorb affirming things about yourself. You do not have to live with imposter syndrome. Yes, lowering the volume of these harsh thoughts and deeply ingrained false beliefs can be very challenging. You may be so accustomed to second-guessing yourself that it seems counterintuitive to act differently. But what if you allowed yourself to make mistakes and be successful simultaneously? Sometimes you hit a home run, and sometimes, you swing and miss. The average baseball player strikes out at the plate two out of three times. Trying, struggling, regrouping, and trying again doesn’t mean that you’ve failed or other people are better than you are. It’s what living is all about: manifesting a growth mindset. Imposter syndrome intensifies your vulnerabilities while denying you the satisfaction derived from effort and engagement. You have strengths and challenges like everybody else. The problem is the struggle to hold onto your successes long enough to believe in your abilities and nurture a sense of inner pride. Instead, the imposter monster quickly grabs them and tosses them away.

Acknowledge Your Wins

When you acknowledge your wins, regardless of size or importance, you are laying Kryptonite at the feet of the imposter beast. When you pay equal if not more attention to things that go well, something that you enjoy, and things that you are good at, you weaken this pattern even more. It’s about shifting your perspective from what’s wrong and not enough about you to celebrate what is positive and good enough. Accept it if someone pays you a compliment–don’t deflect it. Say “thank you.” Please take it in and hold it like the precious gift that it is. If you tell a colleague that you want to improve your timeliness and you show up to a meeting on time, receive their high-five of support with a grin. When your partner appreciates that you went grocery shopping and put away all the food, refrain from minimizing and accepting their acknowledgment.

Build Self-Confidence & Self-Worth

Start to counter the inner critic’s voice by strengthening your inner ally. This coach is the one who encourages you, who reminds you of your value as a person, and who sees the good in things you do. Strengthen this ally by paying attention to what is working. At the end of each day, with your partner at dinner, via text with a friend, or in your journal, acknowledge three things that went well. These can be as simple as “I made a great cup of coffee this morning” to “My boss told me that she loved my presentation.” Fill up the well inside of you with these statements instead of the self-critical, judgmental ones. You’ll be building self-confidence and self-worth instead of fueling anxiety.

You’re Important and Valuable

Lastly, I cannot emphasize the importance of validating traits about yourself that are separate from what you do–traits about who you are: warm, funny, intelligent, spontaneous, generous, and kind. People with ADHD struggle to perform effectively in areas related to executive functioning deficits like emotional regulation, organization, time management, and focus. But you also excel at activities and interests you love. Both are true simultaneously. There’s a lot right with you so take the time to notice, honor and hold onto those things today. This is how you will reduce imposter syndrome.

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Learn how to Genuinely Live Free & Shine Your light with ADHD in 2023 Without Pressure or Promises

Sometimes I get a bit blue around New Year’s Day. With everybody making promises about things they want to change or do differently, I feel pressured instead of motivated, pressured to make another resolution about fixing some aspect of my life that could go better. Then I overfocus on my mistakes this year, on things that didn’t go well at work, in my family, or how I tried something new with mixed results. With all of these thoughts swirling in my head, I feel anything but excited about what’s ahead in the coming months. Ugh. Do you do this? Frankly, let’s do away with resolutions and focus instead on the wins from the year that just passed.

Focus On The Good

Wouldn’t it be lovely to gather around the table and share one achievement, along with our thoughts about how to further these? Take a minute now and reflect on something that happened in 2022 that you feel good about. It can be small, or it can be big. Size or impact doesn’t matter. What’s essential is shifting your mindset from fixing what’s wrong to enhance what’s going well. I’ve always loved the gospel spiritual “This little light of mine.” When my children were young, we sang it at holidays or birthdays. We loved the message and the melody. Lately, this song has been buzzing through my head as a theme song for my clients. It has helped me assist them in moving beyond previous limitations (set by others or themselves) toward taking appropriate risks for genuine participation in relationships, work events, and social situations.

Your 2023 Call-to-Action

When you grow up with a neurodivergent brain, whether it’s having ADHD, a learning disability, autism, being twice-exceptional, or dealing with mental health issues, other people may have blown out your light. Not once, not twice, but multiple times. This year, my call to action is to fire your light up and shine it, no matter what other people say or do. It can be tough to shine your light in the face of criticism, misunderstanding, or rejection. It can also be challenging to try living as an outside-the-box thinker in a world marked by categories, labels, and judgments. Shining your light isn’t about ignoring what’s happening around you but instead accepting yourself, warts and all, and owning what is unique and brilliant about who you are. Yes, we all make mistakes; that’s how human beings learn. These experiences can also be painful, embarrassing, and discouraging, but they are opportunities to grow, practice flexibility, and change.

Lowering The Volume on Negative Voices

Learning can be challenging to do and a struggle for many people. But it will also allow you to reduce the volume on the negative internal voices in their heads and raise the dimmer on the light switch to project something unique and positive about themselves instead. Practicing self-compassion, being mindful about your choices, acting with accountability rather than shame, and talking to yourself the way you would speak to a third-grader with a skinned knee–will lead to more personal happiness and greater self-esteem. In 2023, I ask that we honor our full selves’ wonderful, complicated nature. Reflect on one behavior or characteristic about yourself that you enjoy and that seems to make others happy too. This is what we can share brightly with others. I encourage you to stop beating yourself up for what you aren’t and start empowering yourself for who you are. When you foster a consistent connection with this part of yourself, the foibles seem smaller and less significant because they are. You are more than whatever a resolution aims to change. This upcoming year, you may live with ease, safety, and health. May you treat yourself and others with kindness and care. Happy 2023! P.S. After I wrote this blog, a friend sent me this poem by Donna Ashworth that she saw on Facebook. It was so synchronistic that I had to share it with you.

Let Your Light Shine!

Why do we start a new year with promises to improve? Who began this tradition of never-ending pressure? The end of a year should be filled with congratulation for all we survived. And I say a new year should start with promises to be kinder to ourselves, to understand better just how much we bear, as humans on this exhausting treadmill of life. And if we are to promise more, let’s pledge to rest, before our bodies force us. Let’s pledge to stop, and drink in life as it happens. Let’s pledge to strip away a layer of perfection to reveal the flawed and wondrous humanity we truly are inside. Why start another year, gifted to us on this earth, with demands on our already over-strained humanity. When we could be learning to accept, that we were always supposed to be imperfect. And that is where the beauty lives, actually. And if we can only find that beauty, we would also find peace. I wish you peace in 2023. Everything else is all just a part of it. Let it be so. Donna Ashworth

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4 New Ways to Create ADHD-Friendly Family Traditions

For many of us, this is the first holiday season we get to spend with friends and family after the past few years learning how to live a “new normal” during the pandemic. Although it made gathering difficult, it helped us realize the importance of spending time and celebrating important moments with people we love. Initially, family gatherings may feel a bit awkward after this long gap. But reviving established family traditions will not only help rebuild connections and memories for years to come. It will also help to create new traditions, both for your family and friends. Below, I have shared four meaningful and inclusive ways you can create new ADHD-friendly family fun traditions. Join my newsletter community>>

Take-A-Break & Focus on Family

Start this process by focusing on the whole family. Include them in the planning process and see what lights people up about the holidays. What does everybody imagine would make this time special and fun? Using collaborative brainstorming techniques works most effectively for kids, teens and adults with ADHD because you can balance activity with recovery time in whatever you set up. You also want to keep things interesting with variety of new and familiar activities. Celebrating and creating family traditions is sure to put mores sparkle into the holiday season.

Celebrate Your Family Traditions

During the end-of-year holiday season, it’s nice to reflect on customs and traditions which make your family unique. This creates bonds and gives the younger members of the family a deeper sense of identity and connection to their heritage. It’s also just a nice way to mark the season. When you have a family tradition, you have something to plan and look forward to each year. This is very helpful for kids and teens with ADHD who tend to be concrete thinkers. The traditions offer a foothold in a holiday season that can otherwise feel overwhelming. Whether you take a trip, volunteer, bake, play games or have a movie marathon, the family has something special to focus on and contribute to year after year. You can also use this time of year as an opportunity to learn about other family customs and traditions. Do you have friends or neighbors whose holiday celebrations are different from your own? Perhaps there’s an opportunity to share in their experience, and invite them over to see how your family celebrates. This can be an enriching and rewarding experience for everyone, but especially for children. The value of learning about other people’s traditions is immense, and teaches everyone to not only accept but to also appreciate our differences and uniqueness.

Creating New ADHD-friendly Family Traditions

Time to roll up your sleeves and get creative! Discuss as a family what types of activities or particular celebrations might be fun, meaningful and doable. Remember to accommodate the needs of members of your family with ADHD. Discuss their capacity for participation and address specific challenges related to impulse control, hyperactivity or inattention. They may get bored more easily or struggle to disengage from something fun when it’s time to leave. Together, make a plan in advance for coping with these issues when they arise so you aren’t scrambling in the midst of meltdown. Write these down and remind your kids about them beforehand. This is also a time to give back to others. See if you can incorporate helping or volunteering within your family, community, and beyond. Giving to others helps nurture both gratitude and empathy. When you think outside-of-the-box about the holidays, you can combine the traditions people love with the opportunity to apply their creative brains. This helps avoid the “same old, same old” mentality that can make some folks with ADHD dread the holiday season. Here are some ideas for fun and meaningful ADHD-friendly holiday traditions for you to consider:

Food-related Traditions

Transform one of your family’s favorite holiday dishes by making it a new way
Make a beloved recipe that brings people together to prepare, cook and enjoy it
Assemble small gift packages with delectable treats (cookies, homemade bread, spiced nuts or dried fruits) for relatives, neighborhoods or guests
Hold a light-hearted gingerbread house assembly contest with prizes for different categories such as the most colorful, the most unusual, the most delectable, etc.
Use foods like pasta, popcorn or candy to make crafts and decorations
Organize a food related scavenger hunt around your house (candy, nuts, brownies, etc.)
Cook and freeze a few beloved dishes that your college-age kids or emerging adults can carry home with them

Social Traditions

Organize a family sing-along or a sing-down
Play charades, the salad bowl game or a family talent show
Gather friends or family and drive around your neighborhood looking at the holiday lights, picking your favorites and then coming home for hot cocoa (This was a favorite for my gang!)
Have an ugly sweater or funky hat contest
Go sledding, ice skating, skiing or do other outdoor activities together
Take a family photo with a theme
Host a game night or movie evening

Gifting Traditions

Organize a gift exchange for family and friends with new rules for the gift exchange (e.g. nothing store-bought, must be a specific color, should be eco-friendly, etc.)
Make your own digital or snail mail cards or calendar for the year using photos, original designs or valued poems
Consider homemade gifts such as potted plants, a knitted cap, collages, tie dye tee-shirts, etc.
Brainstorm ideas for experience gifts (museum passes, guitar lessons, day trips, etc.)
Create a coupon book for activities that somebody might really like such as getting a free pass from doing certain chores (clearing the table, making dinner, folding the laundry, etc.) or for doing desired activities (going out to a movie, ordering take-out of their choice, sleeping in on a Saturday, etc.)

Giving Back Traditions

As a family, talk about and choose one charity that you wish to support through a donation or volunteer opportunity
Find a way to include a relative or friend who could not join your festivities in person
Give your services at a food pantry, senior center or soup kitchen
With the help of a few friends, organize a gently used clothing/toy/book swap with leftovers going to a homeless shelter, immigrant family, hospital charity.

It’s really important to think ahead rather than flying by the seat-of-your-pants and feeling anxious or guilty or not good enough. When you set up activities in advance, name the new ones it’s perceived as something special. This increases anticipation, buy-in and participation. Shaking things up with something new while simultaneously repeating lovely traditions is what keeps kids and adults with ADHD engaged in the holiday celebrations because there is variety. Collaborate on creative, interesting and practical ideas that will work for your family and enjoy time with friends, coworkers and loved ones. Most importantly, make sure to slow down and take a break from the day-to-day stress in your life if you can. Kick back and take that well-deserved break, whatever it may look like. During this holiday season, I wish you peace, good health and joy! We will return with our next blog January 2023.

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” ~ John Woode

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Holiday Giving: Low-Cost Gifts for Kids with ADHD That Warm the Heart

The holiday season is a time for giving and receiving, but a gift doesn’t have to be an item you buy or expensive to be special. Low-cost gifts can be more unique and warm the heart like no store-bought item can. That’s because these gifts require a little extra thought, creativity, and time, and with your outside-the-box ADHD thinker brain, you will be great at this. If you’re looking for something unique and heartwarming to give to a relative, neighbor, teacher, or friend, here are several ideas to make the holidays more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Holiday Giving That Matters

It’s safe to say many of us are being more careful with spending these days. But just because we’re being more cautious doesn’t mean gift-giving should be limited. It does mean it’s time to think outside the box and come up with exciting and creative ideas about what and how we give. Instead of shopping at retail stores, see if you can provide experiences, repurpose, or even regift items you never used but others would enjoy. Taking a no-or low-cost approach to gift-giving is easier on the pocketbook and more eco-friendly. That’s what I call a win-win strategy!

Low-Cost Gift Ideas for Kids with ADHD

Have you ever noticed how kids with and without ADHD tend to be more interested in the box a toy arrived in than the toy itself? It’s reasonably common phenomenon parents chuckle about, but there’s a lot to this. A big box is exciting because it’s a blank slate, and kids with ADHD can use their active imaginations to transform it into anything they want – a race car, a play house, a cozy reading spot, or a Lego table. That’s not to say standard gifts like sports equipment, music, games, or puzzles are bad. But a gift that excites a youngster’s imagination and provides an opportunity for connecting with people in their lives is truly special.

Here are some low-cost ideas:

Set up a backyard scavenger hunt
Go sledding or ice skating
Set up a sleepover or movie night at home
Compile a playlist of favorite songs
Put together a book of baby pictures and memories
Put together a box of their favorite or unusual snacks
Set aside an afternoon for baking, crafting, or doing another fun activity together

Remember to teach your child or teen with ADHD the importance of giving and helping others. Compile a list of people they would like to do something nice for – teachers, neighbors, friends, and family members. See if your child or teen would like to make holiday cards for people on the list or bake them some homemade cookies. Volunteering over the holidays may not be feasible, but a neighbor or older relative would always appreciate a visit, a warm meal, or even a phone call. Show your kids the importance of doing for others during the holidays so they find meaning in giving and receiving.

Low-Cost Gift Ideas for Adults with ADHD

As an adult with ADHD, you can capitalize on your unique skills and talents to create unique gifts or share experiences with friends and family. Musicians can compose a piece of music, artists can paint or sculpt something, and bakers can whip up batches of sweet treats. Remember that the holidays are about spending time with people you care about and sharing warm experiences together. The most meaningful gifts come from the heart and show the recipient you care.

Here are some low-cost gift options that warm the ❤️:

Framing a favorite photo
Compiling family recipes
Knitting, building, or crafting something
Writing a song, poem, or story
Recording a video message
Cooking a meal for someone
Offer yourself up to babysit and give tired parents a night off

See if you can encourage your family to make gifts for each other out of found objects or thrifted items. Get creative and have fun with this! Or challenge your friends to volunteer together or help in some additional capacity within your community instead of exchanging gifts. Remember, the best gifts are not the ones with the expensive price tag but ones that express caring, gratitude, and affection. So whatever you choose to give this holiday season, try to make it meaningful, creative, and full of love.

“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” ~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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How to Help Kids with ADHD Understand the Future by Improving Time Management Today

Kids with ADHD struggle with feeling time which can make thinking about the future abstract and unreal. Time management is an executive functioning skill. Learning to cope with it requires accepting your challenges and understanding that it’s constantly changing. Many people with ADHD who struggle with time management tend to do two things that don’t work. Either they underestimate how long something will take, avoiding it until the last minute and then frantically racing to finish it, or they overestimate how much time it will take, feel overwhelmed, and don’t start it. These patterns negatively affect productivity and performance while increasing stress and anxiety.

The ADHD brain and the now/not now pattern.

The ADHD brain is a now/not now. The brain is consistently inconsistent. Kids with ADHD have real challenges with focusing on anything other than the present moment. If the ‘now’ is fun and engaging, the ‘later’ can’t compete (it’s out of sight and out of mind). If the ‘now’ is boring and unpleasant, then the ‘later’ lacks all meaning or appeal–you can neither imagine getting through it nor feeling better once the dreaded task is complete. It’s a bit like all-or-nothing thinking combined with the flooding of intense emotions. Follow these tips for teaching your kids with ADHD to understand the future.

4 Kid-Friendly Tips

1. Talk about time with your child or teen

Identify areas of strength and challenges.
Discuss periods of the day when a routine helps them manage time.
Explore parts of the day where time management is complex.
Ask about their perceptions of the past, present and future.
Use analog clocks throughout the house. On an analog clock, the hands tell you the present time, and the open areas show past and future time. Digital clocks only display changing numbers, so we lose that critical visual display of past, present, and future.

2. Make connections from the past to the present and speculate about the future–together

Nurture the concept of the future by strengthening your child’s ability to look backward and see how previous actions and decisions have affected the present.
Use specific markers such as ‘the first day of school’ instead of ‘three months ago to make time real and concrete. This will help your child imagine a future scenario similar to this one. Linking the skills or activities used in the past to what’s coming up provides an acute sense of flow.

3. Break the future down into manageable chunks

Use calendars and checklists for planning out the immediate future. Beyond that, weeks or months are abstract and could have limited meaning for your child or teen.
Set up meaningful incentives to motivate your child to get their tasks done in a timely manner. If doing their homework immediately means your child might earn extra screen time later today or a different bedtime story, they could become more motivated.

4. Use their imagination as your aide

Ask your younger child to imagine themselves as a superhero and ask how they might solve a problem or handle an unpleasant situation.
Ask your tween or teen what their older self might think about a current challenge they’re going through and what advice they’d give their younger selves. What simple actions would they want to take based on this advice?

When you engage their imagination about themselves as older or with magical powers, they can step outside of the concerns of the present into a realm of play and creativity. They are freed from logical thinking or memories of failure and have space to consider things from a different perspective. This process helps you work collaboratively on creating effective strategies for the present and the future.

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ADHD Tips for Kids & Adults: Improve Brain Focus & Productivity

. Can you relate to this scenario? You’re in the kitchen at 6 p.m. trying to prepare dinner while talking on the phone using your earpods and looking at texts periodically when a notification appears. Meanwhile, your teenage son watches television while doing math homework and checking Facebook. At this moment, you are all being hijacked by your devices into thinking all these tasks can be done simultaneously. However, your brains are not fooled. Multitasking doesn’t exist in the brain, and the myth that we can do multiple things simultaneously is untrue. Multitasking, especially involving technology, slows productivity, changes how we absorb information, and can increase superficiality in social relationships.

The Effects of Multitasking

When we multitask, we are simply splitting our attention. Each time we switch from one task to another, we’re not concentrating on either charge, and our body needs a mental warm-up to resume the suspended task. In addition, while multitasking, our bodies become over-activated and addicted to constant stimulation, our stress hormones rise with every text or email alert, exhaust the connections between different parts of our brain and increase our susceptibility to illness, accidents, and inattentiveness. Dr. Daniel Goleman (2013) wrote in his book, Focus that it can take anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes to regain complete focus from these regular disruptions. Efficiency goes down—productivity decreases. You likely get less done in all areas and probably feel more depleted. A recent study in the Nature journal found that heavier media multitasking is associated with a higher tendency to have attention lapses and forget things. For adults with ADHD who already struggle with working memory and processing speed issues, media multitasking can have serious, if not dire, consequences. Media multitasking is part of the new ‘normal’ today. It is no longer considered rude to turn our attention away from someone we are talking to and respond to a cell phone call. Or to participate in a meeting and be engaged in other tabs or emailing someone simultaneously. We have “novelty detectors” in our brains that activate each time these technology devices “ping.” This activation occurs in the brain’s dopamine pathway, which manages pleasure, attention, and addiction. These pings, deliver messages that we want to hear. But also pulls on our attention becoming an addiction for us.

Sensory Overload in ADHD Brains

ADHD brains, already taxed by executive functioning challenges and prone to seeking out high dopamine activities, are biologically primed for the increased adrenaline and cortisol these notifications deliver. Does this mean you shouldn’t listen to music while you work on a project or rely on brown noise to soothe the buzzing in your head? No. I’m talking about the process of switching back and forth from tab to tab, from device to device, and from one sensory overload to another. These patterns overwhelm all brains but particularly those that are neurodivergent.

Opt for a Single Task

What can we do about this unhealthy trend that promotes disconnection from ourselves and each other? Opt for single-tasking as often as possible. I struggle with this. Like you, I’ve got a lot to do each day. It’s easier if I talk on the phone when I walk my dog or create a presentation while checking my email every hour so it doesn’t accumulate. But I’m simply shredding my attention when I do this because I’m not present for either task. I can feel the stress increase. Can you? It feels like a bad habit I need to stop, but sometimes I just can’t. Recently, I spent a Saturday at a writing workshop. I intentionally closed all of my Google Drive tabs except those on my Google drive, except the ones related to the story I was working on. I turned off the ringer on my phone and checked for texts only before meals. Although it was tough initially, I soon found myself relieved and free to think only about the writing project. My shoulders relaxed, and I got a lot done. I’ve been trying to carry this forward with me since then, but it’s two steps ahead and one step back. When it works, my concentration is more substantial, and I feel calmer. You may or may not be able to eliminate your media multitasking habits, but if you can make even a tiny change, I think you’ll find a difference in your ability to perform better and feel less stressed. Here are a few suggestions for you.

Steps to Improve Brain Focus & Productivity

1. Make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time

This means noticing when you are multitasking and pausing to stop engaging in one of your activities. Last week I saw someone talking on his cell phone while biking- YIKESJust last week, I saw someone talking on his cell phone when he was biking–YIKES! Examples include no texting while driving (“Almost 9% of all fatalities are linked to distracted driving”) or no phones during family meals. How about using the time when you are doing chores or helping your kids with homework to connect and take a phone break? It’s not easy to do, but the pay-offs will increase sanity and calm for you, them and your household. By the way, listening to music while doing something, interestingly enough, didn’t seem to be included in the multitasking/information overload processes I read about for this blog.

2. Turn off your cell phone when you are working

It’s one thing to listen to music and go for a run. It’s something else to receive texts or social media notifications throughout work. Your concentration and productivity gets disrupted, and the quality of your work suffers when this happens. If you are worried about missing an emergency, set a timer to check your phone regularly set a timer to check your phone at regular intervals. It’s the ping, ping, ping which activates your stress response, throws off your focus, and increases your distractibility to other interruptions. Instead, use a timer for whatever break you need between your work periods to mark its beginning and end.

3. Close unnecessary tabs and create separate browsers

This is a hard one for many folks with ADHD. One idea can lead to another, and then suddenly, you have 30 (or more) tabs open. Do you feel more or less stressed when you look at the top of your screen and see all those tabs? It increases my anxiety because I’m now looking at an extensive array of things that I ‘should’ pay attention to. Ask yourself, how many open tabs can you handle without feeling overwhelmed? Once or twice a day, reduce your tabs to that number. If you are worried you will forget something important if the tab is closed, add it to a bookmarked folder. Then you can return to it later. Similarly, divide your interests into two browsers: Separating home and work stuff can lower your multitasking tendencies. When you are at work, close the other browser, opening it during breaks only with a timer to limit yourself. Remember your goal is increased productivity, not going down rabbit holes.

4. Engage in conversations when you are not distracted by your phone

It doesn’t feel good to anybody to have someone turn their attention away from a conversation. Their phone is buzzing while you are in the middle of saying something that you think is valuable. Yes, it may be the custom now, but, each time you do this, you signal that your phone is more important. This is especially true when parents turn away from their children to their phones. It may look like multitasking, but it’s more like dismissing: you turn away from your loved one towards the digital universe. I struggle with this as a parent, and I also know how it feels as a child. When I visit my aging father (who lives several hours away) and he’s playing around with his iPad while talking to me, I feel hurt. Didn’t I just travel here to see and connect with you? Does this happen in your family or at your job? How does single-tasking, paying more attention to the conversation affect your participation? Do yourself a favor and take some time to reflect on the benefits of doing fewer things simultaneously, even if it feels strange or uncomfortable. When you set limits around multitasking, no matter how small, you will start to give your ADHD brain more time and space to process and retain information, produce a higher quality of work, and show up genuinely for colleagues, friends, and family. Model this change in behavior for your kids and stick by the guidelines that you want them to follow. As you shift your patterns, you’ll decrease information and emotional overload and build cognitive strengths like improved focus, attention, and memory. Reducing media multitasking takes practice and persistence. Throw in a bit of self-compassion because this is a daunting process. Start slowly, and don’t give up!

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Giving Thanks: 3 Ways to Express Gratitude During the Holidays

What better way to kick off the holiday season than by reflecting on what we are thankful for? Taking a moment to consider what you are grateful for and expressing appreciation will nourish and sustain your spirit and foster calm. It also strengthens your relationships with people in your life and boosts your self-esteem. Sometimes adults (and kids) living with ADHD get down on themselves and allow critical self-talk to take over. When that happens, it’s all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity and overfocus on what’s wrong or missing in your life. Practicing gratitude helps spotlight what’s going well, counteracting those troubling emotions. Read my new blog to learn three main ways you and your family can harness gratitude during the holidays–every day. (5-minute read)

1. Acknowledge the good

We all live busy, hectic lives, and often our attention is focused on problems, disappointments, and hardships. It requires deliberate effort to pause and consider what’s going right and how the people in our lives are making a positive difference. Carve out a little time in your week to try journaling. This will help you focus on the good in your life and process how you feel about it.

Journaling 101

As an exercise in gratitude, start by listing 3 positive things, big or small, and why they make you feel good. Here are some examples to help you get started: Example 1: “I showed up on time to several meetings this week with the help of alarms and reminders. It feels nice to have time to settle in instead of rushing into the conference room late and having everyone stare at me.” Example 2: “I appreciate what a good listener my grandma is. I can share all my thoughts with her (even the weird and awkward stuff), and I always feel heard and loved. Plus, her oatmeal cookies are the best!” Example 3: “I didn’t expect to be invited to my neighbor’s birthday party but was glad to be included. I could go home any time, which took a lot of pressure off. I even made a new friend!”

2. Appreciate yourself

Appreciating yourself and your gifts goes a long way toward self-acceptance. We all have wonderful qualities, talents, and strengths. Everyone is special and unique in their own way, so don’t fall into the compare and despair trap. Instead of looking at others and worrying whether you measure up, appreciate who YOU are. Consider asking a trustworthy friend, loved one, therapist, or coach where they think your strengths lie if you can’t decipher them for yourself. Then, let in what they say. So many people with and without ADHD quickly dismiss the positive things other people say to them. And while you’re at it, if you feel comfortable, share something you admire about them too. Notice the ensuing connection and the ways that you both feel uplifted by this conversation. So instead of beating yourself up for what you’re not, celebrate all you are.

3. Express gratitude toward others

The holidays are a time to recognize the importance of giving thanks to the important people in our lives. Giving thanks is an act of kindness and an expression of caring. It fosters integrity, generosity, and closeness. Take some time to think about the people who bring you joy, are supportive, or love you for who you are. It could be a friend, relative, coach, mentor, or manager. Consider and appreciate these people for being part of your support team, a precious resource that sustains you daily. How could you express gratitude towards them and show them how much they mean to you? This might be a written note, an act of service, or a heartfelt conversation. Going the extra mile and showing your appreciation with a caring gesture will make both of you feel good. I, too, would like to express my gratitude to each of you who are part of my ADHD community. Thank you for reading, watching, listening, and sharing. Your support and positive feedback inspire me every day. As I write this, I am on the airplane returning from the International ADHD Conference in Dallas. My heart is filled with the strength, authenticity, warmth, and humor of an amazing group of people (at the conference and beyond) who think outside-of-the-box, seek to learn more about neurodiversity, and want to live the best versions of themselves. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. Your courage and honesty impress me every day.

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Tired of Wasting Time? Overcome ADHD Task Paralysis Today with 3 Proven Strategies

Do you ever face a task you know you need to do but feel frozen to begin? Task paralysis comes from a combination of being overwhelmed by what’s in front of you, disinterest in the task itself, and a negative expectation that you can actually accomplish it. You may feel profoundly stuck and judge yourself harshly for this too. Folks with ADHD are particularly prone to task paralysis. This is because they often have challenges with initiation, organization, prioritization, sustained focus, and performance anxiety. Of course, stress, worry, and low self-esteem negatively affect anybody’s ability to concentrate. Still, when you add the natural executive functioning challenges that come with having ADHD, it’s even tougher to overcome the hurdles to start, stick with and finish projects, reports, or homework. The likely result is procrastination and avoidance, which only prolongs the inactivity. It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break. Fortunately, there are some proven strategies to reduce ADHD task paralysis so that you can feel more productive, more effective, and more regulated.

What is ADHD Task Paralysis?

Simply put, task paralysis is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed and stuck and unable to do the work you need to do. Planning and executing tasks is particularly challenging for people living with ADHD, so you may find yourself too often unable to start something or know how to move forward–whether or not you like the task. Negative self-talk may also fill you with dread and make you think you’ll fail at whatever work you’re supposed to do. Or you may feel the task itself is boring or unpleasant, so why bother doing it in the first place? As a result, you delay, avoid, or ignore the task. You know it must be done, but with little motivation and a sense of dread, stress and anxiety creep up, leading to more overwhelm.

Help yourself get unstuck.

Whether it’s work, school, or family life, getting bogged down by task paralysis is tough. Fear of failure or intense uncertainty can freeze you up and get in the way of performing activities at work or home the way you would like. Here are three strategies to help you overcome feeling stuck and start getting things done.

1. Break things down to improve your ability to start something

Whether you have a huge tasks to tackle or just a few things that feel enormous, breaking things down into smaller, manageable chunks will bring a lot of relief. Why does this work? With executive functioning challenges accompanying ADHD, you’ll feel a sense of progress when you can begin to work on things you can accomplish. Then, you’ll start to feel like the ball is rolling instead of being stuck in a mound of snow. This movement is in itself encouraging and starts to build the momentum you need to keep going.

How To Start!

Start by making a big list based on a brain dump. Then take a single item, put it on a separate page and separate that into parts. Work your way through one step at a time. Staying organized and then enjoying the satisfaction of checking off completed items is not only gratifying but also productive.

Example 1: Tidy up the kitchen

Fill the dishwasher
Wipe the counters
Put food away into cabinets/refrigerator
Sweep the floor

Example 2: Write a report

Collect necessary materials
Write an outline that includes sections for different topics
Create a quiet work space and use music or brown noise to enhance concentration
Use the Pomodoro method to structure work periods and short break times.
When you finish a chunk of work, take a longer, timed break to integrate mentally what you’ve accomplished.

Remember that progress counts more than perfection. Perfection is impossible to achieve, and if that’s your goal, it’s easy to freeze up out of fear of not achieving it. Instead, focus on shorter, reasonable goals that you can actually meet. Making some amount of progress on a task is always better than striving for perfection and getting nothing done.

2. Motivate yourself with meaningful incentives

It’s difficult for the ADHD brain to get energized to do uninteresting tasks. Effective incentives (rewards) foster motivation and goal-directed persistence. When you build in little rewards such as a coffee break or a walk around the office and leave yourself a note that guides you back into the flow when you return, you make doing the smaller, attainable task more tolerable and even pleasant. Plus, you’ll make more effective progress. If you dread doing laundry or washing dishes, why not put on upbeat music or listen to an interesting podcast or audio book? If putting together a presentation is a slog, make it more enjoyable by drinking your favorite beverage while you’re working on it and set up an accountability buddy to do some co-working. Many adults (and kids) with ADHD perform better on projects if they are not alone. Make an accurate assessment of how long you can concentrate before you need a break and work within those time intervals. Plan on a 5 minute break after a shorter chunk (30-45 minutes) and then a longer break after a bigger chunk (60 to 90 minutes). Stretch, walk around the block, have a meal or chat with a friend. These active breaks will replenish you and provide a much-needed energy boost.

3. Improve focus by noticing where it is–and isn’t

Focus is a dynamic process of choosing what is important to notice, do, or recall. When you find yourself frozen in a state of inaction, your mind is likely spinning and reacting to stress. Focus goes out the window. Multitasking may also interfere with your ability to fully pay attention to any one thing and increase feelings of overwhelm. Think of focus as the spotlight of your attention. Notice where it is directed and where you would like it to point. Improve your focus on the task at hand by establishing routines that structure your time and manage interruptions and distractions. Turn off notifications on your phone. Set up a separate browser for work stuff and for everything else. When you come back from drifting off (which your ADHD brain will naturally do), be kind to yourself. Look around for signals that can re-engage in what’s going on. Routines build habits and these assist you in preparing for how to manage the present effectively and for what’s ahead. They help to fill in the gaps where your working memory may lapse. Keep these routines simple and include time for transitions as well as basic organization so you sit down to work with a tidy desk. For example, when you arrive at work or begin a project, budget in 30 minutes for settling in and set a timer to do this. With increased focus, you’ll feel more productive and calm. No matter how much you struggle with ADHD task paralysis, try to remember that this moment of inertia, dread or procrastination will pass. If you use some of these strategies, you’ll become unstuck and in motion. This feeling of activity will help you move forward, one steady step at a time.

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The Best 5 Tips for Managing a Disappointing Report Card with Your Child

.It’s that time of year when parents and kids anxiously await their first report card. School is often the toughest area of functioning for neurodivergent kids and teens because academic performance requires using all of the executive functioning skills with which they struggle. For neurodivergent learners classes can be interesting, compelling, boring and/or frustrating. Either way, kids with ADHD, learning disabilities, autism spectrum disorders or twice exceptionality often face significant challenges that impact their productivity, concentration and behavior. Even though they typically work hard to hold it all together at school as best they can, they frequently come home lacking the energy and focus to face homework, complete assignments and remember to turn them in. Receiving a surprising report card can be upsetting and possibly frustrating for a caregiver, but keep in mind that your child is upset too. In this blog, I will share relatable stories of kids with ADHD and how they feel about report card time and school and how you as a caregiver can manage your reaction appropriately to then find agreeable report card solutions with your child.

Teen Time: About Keiran

Keiran a sophomore in high school has checked Schoology to see what’s coming and it’s not what he’d hoped for. He’s dreading Friday when his parents will receive his grades and ‘the talk’ that will follow. Keiran struggles with inattentive ADHD and writing skills. He has accommodations which help with this but it’s still tough. His U.S. history class often feels like drudgery and it’s tough for him to produce lab reports in his honors chemistry class. Instead of the A’s he aimed for, he’s receiving high C’s. Keiran is disappointed in himself, embarrassed and really doesn’t want his parents to know. Because they agreed that he was ready for more of a challenge in science which is his favorite subject. Now Keiran feels like he made a mistake and let them down.

As Ross Greene famously tells us, “children do well, if they can.” Because doing well is preferable to not doing well.

For neurodiverse kids, I would also add that kids do well when they have effective supports in place to shore up executive functioning challenges. When they are unable to manage school successfully, it’s not a question of poor willpower but rather a reflection that things aren’t set up adequately to foster this. Report cards are a concrete demonstration of what is working well and what isn’t. Instead of seeing them as an evaluation of your child’s performance and where a student is falling short, parents can use them as an opportunity for investigating and improving the school experience.

“I Hate it When Teachers Say…”

Students with ADHD tell me that seeing how they are actually doing in terms of evaluations can be tricky. Kids may be sensitive or defensive about their grades and teacher comments if they dislike the teacher, if the results seem unfair or if the feedback seems overly critical. Without telling you directly, they often feel ashamed about their learning differences and their performance and show anger or disregard. Sasha, age 17, shared, “I hate it when teachers say. ‘You have so much potential. It’s a shame you can’t unlock it or be more disciplined.” Logan, age 11, told me, “It feels bad. I don’t really want to disappoint my parents but I frustrate them a lot, like with school because it’s hard for me.” Shame from repeated failures can push children, teens and adults with ADHD to hide or deny their mistakes (or report cards) and leads them to say negative statements to themselves such as “I’m stupid” or “I’m not good enough.” Shame also contributes to oppositional, angry behavior.

How Parents Respond To Report Cards Is Crucial

How parents respond to any report card is crucial, especially one that is disappointing. Even though you too may feel frustrated, sad or even angry with your child’s performance, punishment, criticism or judgments will worsen the situation. How can you manage your feelings appropriately, talk about what’s going on calmly and offer effective support for moving forward together? Start by managing your own reaction to the report card separately. Whatever your thoughts or feelings are, address these privately before you speak to your child or teen. Our kids have incredible radar and can pick up what’s going on for us immediately. They will sense your frustration or disappointment and react to that, rather than listening to anything that you say. Take the time and space you need to regulate yourself and reflect on how you want to approach this situation. Aim for being their ally instead of their critic. They’re probably already judging themselves enough for the both of you. Once you are settled, you are ready to follow these tips.

5 Ways To Manage ‘The Report Card’ Conversation

1. Listen first, ask questions after

Your neurodiverse child or teen will feel likely feel anxious about discussing their report card with you. Whether or not they show it to you, kids want their parents’ respect, their approval and their love. Relieve their anxiety about you seeing their report card by acknowledging that you’ve seen it, explaining that you want to collaborate on making things better and then set aside some time when emotions have cooled to talk about it. Start by asking for their thoughts about school and ask them to name a few successes before focusing on the challenges. Use conversation openers such as ‘what, when and how’ instead of why. Reflect back what you hear so they feel listened to. Remember, your compassion about the challenges they experience at school (instead of your judgments) foster essential connections between parents/caregivers and kids.

2. Set realistic goals for the next quarter or trimester

Together, explore realistic goals for the next term based on their current performance. What hopes do they have for themselves? What types of support that have been helpful in the past would be useful now? Where could they benefit from more aide than they are currently receiving? Share your hopes as well and remind them of their capabilities. If they feel disliked by a teacher, or they don’t get along with someone or they are not receiving mandate accommodations, arrange a meeting at school with the guidance counselor, social worker/psychologist or principal to discuss your concerns and find a do-able solution.

3. Make sure adequate support is in place

If your child or teen does not already have mandated supports at school (in the United States these would be 504, IEP and/or behavioral plans), then request a team meeting or fill out the necessary forms to get this process started. Low grades in school are a strong signal that something is up and it’s time to address it now. One of the toughest things for alternative learners is repeated school troubles (academic, social and behavioral) as these lead to negative self-esteem and a failure mentality over time. If a support plan is in place and your child is still struggling as evidenced by their report card, then set up a meeting with the team to find out why it’s not working better. In both of these cases, invite your child to participate for some portion of the meeting. The adults at school would benefit from hearing what they have to say.

4. Avoid punishments and use logical consequences

Instead of thinking about things you can take away from your child as a punishment for their report card, flip this around to consider incentives and logical consequences. Punishments have been found not to be effective because they don’t teach any skills. Your child or teen with ADHD (and more) needs to learn executive functioning skills and the tasks related to daily living. We want to teach them that “have-to’s” stuff precede the “want-to’s.” They will eventually have to do this for themselves when they are older. Remember, if they do the things that need to get done, they can earn the fun stuff. If not, then they don’t. This gives them more control over the outcome and builds autonomy and choice simultaneously. This attitude lies at the heart of using logical consequences. When you work together to establish motivating incentives, you enable important focus and sustained attention to achieve the best results.

5. Set up an effective routine for studying at home

Good study habits go beyond just doing homework at a specific time. The surest way to counter your ADHD child’s forgetfulness, inconsistency and difficulty in focusing on homework is by setting up a routine of study habits. Followed by an incentive of an activity they enjoy and predictability to getting the job done. When your child has a daily routine for doing homework, they will have fewer opportunities for procrastination. Good study habits go beyond just doing homework at a specific time. Although you know your child best, it’s a collaborative approach that works best. Together, talk about your level of involvement in their schoolwork. Base the conversation on the reality of what’s really getting finished and turned in. Understand your child’s study patterns, and talk with you son or daughter about how they can best approach their homework. Then brainstorm a plan and expect to tweak it along the way. Remember, neurodiverse kids do well when they have effective support systems in place to shore up executive functioning challenges.

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Asking for Help

When You’re Overwhelmed by Big Feelings

Lack of clarity

Focus on strength & authenticity

Ask for assistance

Change your expectations

Start small and build on each delegation’s success

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What Is Imposter Syndrome?

Manifest A Growth Mindset

Acknowledge Your Wins

Build Self-Confidence & Self-Worth

You’re Important and Valuable

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Focus On The Good

Your 2023 Call-to-Action

Lowering The Volume on Negative Voices

Let Your Light Shine!

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Take-A-Break & Focus on Family

Celebrate Your Family Traditions

Creating New ADHD-friendly Family Traditions

Food-related Traditions

Social Traditions

Gifting Traditions

Giving Back Traditions

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” ~ John Woode

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Holiday Giving That Matters

Low-Cost Gift Ideas for Kids with ADHD

Here are some low-cost ideas:

Low-Cost Gift Ideas for Adults with ADHD

Here are some low-cost gift options that warm the ❤️:

“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” ~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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The ADHD brain and the now/not now pattern.

4 Kid-Friendly Tips

1. Talk about time with your child or teen

2. Make connections from the past to the present and speculate about the future–together

3. Break the future down into manageable chunks

4. Use their imagination as your aide

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The Effects of Multitasking

Sensory Overload in ADHD Brains

Opt for a Single Task

Steps to Improve Brain Focus & Productivity

1. Make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time

2. Turn off your cell phone when you are working

3. Close unnecessary tabs and create separate browsers

4. Engage in conversations when you are not distracted by your phone

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1. Acknowledge the good

Journaling 101

2. Appreciate yourself

3. Express gratitude toward others

Become A Member

What is ADHD Task Paralysis?

Help yourself get unstuck.

1. Break things down to improve your ability to start something

How To Start!

Example 1: Tidy up the kitchen

Example 2: Write a report

2. Motivate yourself with meaningful incentives

3. Improve focus by noticing where it is–and isn’t

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Teen Time: About Keiran

“I Hate it When Teachers Say…”

How Parents Respond To Report Cards Is Crucial

5 Ways To Manage ‘The Report Card’ Conversation

1. Listen first, ask questions after

2. Set realistic goals for the next quarter or trimester

3. Make sure adequate support is in place

4. Avoid punishments and use logical consequences

5. Set up an effective routine for studying at home

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