Author: Lisa Fernandez

 

Spring has sprung here on the East Coast, and I couldn’t be more happy!  As soon as those clocks spring forward, something in me shifts.  Perhaps it’s knowing that I won’t be in “hibernation mode” much longer, and will have warmer, longer days to be outside in the fresh air and sunlight. Or maybe it’s the sense of renewal and growth that seems more palpable at this time of year – it feels easier to access the motivation and energy that seemed lacking over the long Winter months.  But when you are neurodivergent or have ADHD, this sense of seasonal optimism can also come with a side of seasonal disruption – to your mood, schedule, energy level, or appetite.  There is a scientific connection between shifting seasons and ADHD symptoms, which can make it even more difficult to maintain focus and keep steady with routines.  In this weeks blog, I’ll offer helpful strategies to survive the seasonal shift when you are neurodivergent or have ADHD. 

 

ADHD & SEASONAL CHANGES 

If you have ADHD, you’re probably no stranger to the ebb and flow of symptoms. Sometimes it feels like your attention span has a mind of its own – and unfortunately, that mind can be easily distracted. ADHD symptoms can fluctuate with the seasons, and spring brings some unique challenges.  What is it about Spring and seasonal change that triggers this dysregulation? Let’s unpack the “why”, below:

Sleep Disruptions: As the days get longer, many people notice their sleep patterns changing. For those with ADHD, this can be even more pronounced. The increased daylight might mess with your circadian rhythm (the body’s internal clock), leading to difficulties falling asleep or staying asleep. According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, sleep disturbances are more common in individuals with ADHD, and these disruptions can worsen symptoms, making it even harder to focus during the day.

Energy Fluctuations: Spring can bring a burst of productive energy to some people, but for others, it can feel like unproductive, chaotic energy – the kind that’s difficult to harness. For individuals with ADHD, high energy levels can result in impulsivity, restlessness, or an inability to concentrate on tasks. On the flip side, the fluctuating energy levels in the spring may also leave you feeling drained on days when pollen counts are high or the weather is erratic.

Mood Changes: Seasonal changes can also affect your mood. As the weather warms up, people with ADHD might feel an increased sense of restlessness or irritability. Anxiety levels can rise, too, especially if you’re struggling with sleep disruptions or a lack of focus. In fact, research from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that anxiety disorders are often exacerbated by changes in routine, including seasonal shifts. The unpredictable nature of spring weather can heighten feelings of unease or uncertainty, making it even harder to stay grounded.

ANXIETY & THE SEASONAL SHIFT

Spring is also a time when people with anxiety may feel a heightened sense of unease. Just like with ADHD, changing routines and disruptions in sleep patterns can create a perfect storm for anxiety to thrive. Longer daylight hours may disrupt sleep cycles, and warmer temperatures can stir up social anxieties as people begin to spend more time outdoors or attend gatherings. If you’ve ever felt your heart race at the thought of a crowded spring festival or outdoor event, you’re not alone.

SPRING INTO FOCUS: STRATEGIES FOR COPING 

Okay, now that we’ve painted the picture of the seasonal chaos, let’s talk about some ways to manage it all. After all, if spring is going to throw us curveballs, then we might as well have a bat!

1. Adjust Your Sleep Routine: As daylight savings kicks in, it can be tricky to fall asleep on time. Try implementing a consistent bedtime routine – even on weekends – to help reset your circadian rhythm. And if you’re struggling with sleep, limit exposure to screens an hour before bed, and try using blackout curtains to keep the room dark in the early mornings. 

Here are some good pre-sleep techniques  to help engage your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” system), which is your body’s natural way of saying, “Okay, chill. We’re done for the day.”

• Deep breathing exercises: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, pause. Repeat three times. 
•  Guided meditation: Apps like Insight Timer, Headspace or Calm can guide you through short meditation sessions designed to relax your mind and body, though some are paid subscriptions. A quick google using the term “guided meditations for sleep” gives great (free) results to start from. Playing these before bed can also help you wind down. 
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Start by tensing and then relaxing each muscle group, starting from your toes and working up to your head. Hold your breath for the muscle tension and exhale on  the relaxation.

 

2. Get it done with GRIT: Those with ADHD find it especially difficult to get started and follow through on boring, unpleasant tasks – Spring is the perfect time to knock these out and get them done!  My GRIT method  is a process by which you get yourself ready to do a task or a work project, stay with it, apply consistent effort and finish a part or all of it.

To build motivation when you have ADHD, it is important to identify what you want to accomplish and why, and set goals accordingly. Then, once you’ve identified your goals, create realistic expectations of your capability, available resources and time constraints. Make a plan for when, where and how you’ll get things done. Try breaking large tasks down into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Then, use GRIT to make those everyday tasks less overwhelming: 

G- Get Situated. Think about your tasks, do a brain dump and assign numbers to the first 3 items. Then, write where and when you want to do them. Break your first and second items down into smaller chunks. Finish these first two items before moving on to the next one.

R-Resist Distraction. Set reminders. Ask yourself, “How long can I do something before I get bored?” If it’s 20 minutes, do your tasks in 20 minutes. Write yourself a note marking where you left off. Go on your break, set the time, go back to what you were doing.

I- Implement incentives that matter. Start with small steps and identify achievable goals. Put the “have-to” before the “want-to,” and use incentives. Watch your TV show after you do the dinner dishes. 

T-Take small steps & positively talk yourself through the task. Try a “high and a low,” or a “happy and a crappy” exercise at dinner to highlight the day’s wins. Consider writing down three good things or accomplishments each night before bed.

 

3. Get Outside: While spring beckons us outdoors, it’s important to listen to your own needs. If you’re feeling socially anxious or overwhelmed by too much stimulation, take a walk by yourself or spend time in a quieter outdoor space. Nature has been shown to have a calming effect, especially for those with anxiety, so try to embrace it in a way that supports your own wellness.

 

4. Exercise to Balance Your Energy: With ADHD, energy can feel like it’s running in all directions. Channel it into physical activity! Regular exercise can help stabilize mood and increase focus. Plus, it can work wonders for anxiety by releasing those feel-good endorphins. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a bike ride, or an online yoga class, moving your body can help ground you.

 

5. Use a Mood Tracker: If you notice your mood fluctuating with the changing seasons, try tracking it with an app or journal. Identifying patterns in your emotions can help you anticipate when you might feel more anxious or distracted, and allow you to plan accordingly. Awareness is half the battle!

 

The seasonal shift into spring is a time of change, but with that change comes an opportunity to refocus and rebalance. By adjusting our routines, embracing the outdoors (in our own way), and prioritizing sleep, we can turn the chaos of spring into a chance for growth. Just remember – be patient with yourself. ADHD and anxiety don’t go away just because the weather’s nice, but with a few tweaks, you can spring into focus and feel more grounded than ever.

Hi Dr. Sharon!!

I’m a mom of three kids in my late 40’s. I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety which was SUCH a relief in connecting all my dots. I really struggle with how people perceive me, especially at work and at home. For example, at work, I’m constantly getting behind on projects. I’ll start one task, get sidetracked by something else, and then realize hours have passed with no progress, My boss thinks I’m “lazy” but I live in panic mode trying to catch up. This happens at home too. My partner gets frustrated because I forget to pick up the groceries or miss appointments, even though I write them down. I’m constantly overwhelmed and I don’t know how to explain it to everyone. Do you have any advice on how I can manage my symptoms better and help others understand what I’m going through?

– Jessica, New Hampshire

Dear Jessica – 

I’ve had the privilege of working with many women over the years. One thing I’ve consistently noticed is that women, particularly mothers, carry a significant mental load. This “mental load” refers to the cognitive and emotional work required to manage a household, take care of children, handle social obligations, hold down a job and juggle personal responsibilities—all while trying to maintain a sense of balance. The executive functioning challenges that come with ADHD, in conjunction with hormonal influences, can make this all seem impossible to manage. So, Jessica, you are not alone. Working with women from all walks of life as they explore the impact of an ADHD or Anxiety diagnosis later in life, I’ve developed some strategies and solutions that might be especially helpful to you. 

 

The Mental Load: What Is It?

I reject the term “laziness” for people with ADHD. The ADHD brain has no trouble with motivation and sustained attention for interesting activities. But it struggles fundamentally with being starting, persisting and completing tasks that are inherently unrewarding or overwhelming. This consistent inconsistency is confusing to kids and adults with ADHD and to the people in their lives too. But instead of exploring this issue and the very real mental load that occurs for neurodivergent folks, people use the word “lazy”. 

The mental load often goes unnoticed and unacknowledged by others because it’s invisible. It’s the constant running tally of things to complete, the mental “to-do” list that loops around in the background of your mind. It’s organizing school schedules, meal planning, making sure the bills are paid, and keeping track of everyone’s appointments. It’s also meeting deadlines at work, showing up for meetings on time and being a dedicated team player. The emotional and psychological labor of these combined never-ending task lists can create significant burnout – especially when the person with ADHD has co-occurring anxiety. 

Research shows that women, especially mothers, tend to shoulder more of this mental load than men, even when they both work full-time jobs. According to a 2020 study by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, mothers in dual-income households spend an average of 1.3 hours more per day on household chores than fathers. While that may not sound like much, over time, those hours add up, often creating emotional and cognitive exhaustion.

ADHD: An Extra Layer of Overwhelm

For women with ADHD, struggles with sustained attention, working memory and organization increases the burdens related to these mental loads. Other executive functioning challenges that accompany living with ADHD–such as planning, time management, shifting and emotional regulation–complicate the picture. The very skills that you need to manage all of these competing responsibilities are the ones that are taxed by being neurodivergent. 

When you have ADHD, your brain tends to avoid tasks that feel overwhelming, leading to procrastination and difficulty completing things. You might start a project, only to leave it unfinished while your mind races onto the next thing to do. On top of that, natural difficulties with emotional regulation may result in regrettable outbursts or intense bouts of worry, sadness or anger. 

Constantly sensing that you are behind or not meeting expectations not only increases stress but also produces burnout and mental health issues. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Attention Disorders found that women with ADHD experience higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to their male counterparts. Many feel overwhelmed by the expectations placed on them—whether by society, family, or themselves. They also report feelings of guilt and shame about their challenges. The combination of external pressure and internal challenges can leave them feeling like they’re failing—often without recognizing that ADHD is a contributing factor.

 

 

Practical Strategies for Managing the Mental Load 

As a mother with ADHD, it’s important to acknowledge that the mental load you’re carrying is real. It’s not just about “doing more” or “trying harder”. It’s also about understanding how ADHD and neurodivergence affects your brain and implementing strategies that work with it, not against it.

Here are a few practical tips to help reduce the mental load and prevent burnout:

1. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps

When faced with a large project, it can feel overwhelming to even get started. Breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps makes them feel less daunting. For example, instead of thinking about “organizing the entire house,” start by focusing on one room or even one corner of a room.

Research has shown that breaking tasks into smaller pieces can significantly improve task initiation and completion for people with ADHD.  Here, the  Princeton University Research and Teaching Lab shares  that chunking tasks into smaller parts increases motivation and reduces procrastination.

2. Use Visual Reminders and Tools

Keeping track of multiple responsibilities is hard, especially with ADHD. Using visual reminders like planners, sticky notes, or digital tools like apps can help. For example, creating a family calendar in Google Calendar or using a task management app like Todoist, Microsoft To Do, Habitua orTrello can help you stay organized without the mental strain of remembering everything yourself.

Incorporating visual prompts has been shown to improve executive functioning in individuals with ADHD, particularly when tasks are broken down visually (such as seeing a checklist of to-dos).

3. Increase collaboration and cooperation

Living in a household means sharing chores.Family chore time can improve cooperation especially if there is a desired incentive like watching a show or playing a game together afterwards.  If you have a partner, it’s essential to communicate openly about the distribution of responsibilities. Research from the American Sociological Review indicates that more equitable division of labor at home leads to reduced stress and burnout for mothers.

If you’re struggling with organizing or maintaining routines, it might also be helpful to consider finding external support, such as a therapist or coach to improve how collaboration in your family or relationship. If you have the means, outsourcing tasks that you find particularly overwhelming such as hiring help for cleaning or ordering from a meal preparation service can provide much-needed relief.

4. Practice Self-Compassion and Set Realistic Expectations

Mothers with ADHD are often their own harshest critics. It’s important to practice self-compassion and adjust your expectations. Recognize that you can’t do everything, and that’s okay. Setting realistic goals for yourself can reduce the feeling of failure when you don’t meet impossible standards.

Incorporating mindfulness techniques and self-compassion practices reduce anxiety and shame. They also improve emotional regulation, which helps with managing ADHD symptoms and the emotional toll of motherhood.

5. Create Structure and Routine

Having a predictable structure can significantly reduce the cognitive load on your brain. Routines help minimize the number of decisions you need to make daily and teach your kids key executive functioning skills simultaneously. This frees up mental energy for other tasks. For example, meal prepping on Sundays or having a designated “clean-up sweeps” at night where people pick up their things  contributes to a sense of order and predictability.

 

You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

Jessica, being a mother is hard enough, but when you add ADHD into the mix, the mental load can feel overwhelming. You seem to be anything but ‘lazy”. It’s crucial to acknowledge how ADHD affects your ability to manage tasks and to recognize that it’s not a reflection of your abilities as a mother. By implementing practical strategies like breaking tasks down, using reminders, delegating, and practicing self-compassion, you can begin to lighten the load and prioritize your own well-being.

Remember: You don’t have to carry this burden alone, and with the right tools and support, it’s possible to regain a sense of balance and control.

How to Talk to Your Teen About ADHD: A Guide for Parents on Explaining, Empowering, and Navigating 504/IEP Meetings

Dear Dr. Sharon – 

My 15 year old attended her first school 504 meeting as the High School likes to have them in attendance. I’ve never told her ‘she has ADHD’ directly and am wondering if you have suggestions on how to tell and explain what she has and how it impacts her in life. I want it to be informative, age appropriate and positive. What do you think about having high school students attend their 504 or IEP meetings?  – Oscar, Indiana 

 

Dear Oscar,

First off, let me say that it’s wonderful that you’re seeking to support your 15-year-old in understanding her ADHD. In my experience as a parent, advocate, and psychologist, I can tell you that opening the conversation about ADHD with your teen is one of the most important steps you can take to help her not only understand herself better,  but also to empower her as she navigates school and life. It’s a delicate conversation, and it’s normal to feel unsure about how to approach it. You’re definitely not alone in this, and I’m here to help guide you.

Before we dive in, let’s start with your question about 504 meetings.  If this is your first one, or for a deeper dive on the subject, my earlier blog post this year is

a great guide!  As we are approaching the midpoint of the school year, these meeting invitations will start coming at you fast and furious!  Now is a perfect time of year to pause, assess, and reset before planning and participating in this annual process.

 The idea of having high school students attend their own 504 or IEP meetings can seem intimidating, but research has shown that it can be incredibly beneficial for students. In fact, students who participate in their own meetings are better at advocating for themselves and understanding the accommodations that will help them succeed. This can be especially true for teens with ADHD, who may face unique challenges when it comes to time management, focus, and organization.

But before your teen attends that meeting, you’ll want to have an honest conversation with her about what ADHD is and how it impacts her life. So, let’s break down how you can approach this.

 

STEP 1: How to Explain ADHD to your Teen

The first thing to keep in mind is that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition. This means that it’s something your teen is born with, not something she “catches” or can control through willpower alone. I always recommend explaining ADHD in terms that your teen can relate to — maybe even with a little humor. For example, you could say:

“Imagine your brain is like a TV, and ADHD is like having too many channels on at once. Sometimes it’s hard to focus on just one thing because your mind’s flipping between all these different channels. It’s not that you’re not trying, but it’s just harder to concentrate.”

This metaphor can help normalize the experience of ADHD. Teens, especially, often feel like something is “wrong” with them when they struggle in school or with staying organized. Framing ADHD in a way that feels less like a “deficit” and more like a unique wiring of the brain is key to maintaining their self-esteem.

Another important point is to emphasize that ADHD isn’t all bad! There are plenty of strengths associated with ADHD, such as creativity, hyperfocus (when she can really get into something she loves), and being able to think outside the box. By acknowledging both the challenges and the strengths, you create a more balanced and empowering conversation.

 

STEP 2: Why It’s Important for Teens to Attend Their Own 504/IEP Meetings

Now, let’s talk about the 504 meeting itself. The idea of having a high school student attend her own meeting may feel like throwing her into the deep end, but it can actually be incredibly empowering for her. By participating in these meetings, teens learn to advocate for themselves, understand the accommodations that can make a difference, and gain a sense of ownership over their education.

One of the key benefits of involving students in these meetings is that it gives them a voice in how their accommodations are set up. According to the U.S. Department of Education, students who are included in the decision-making process are more likely to feel engaged in their education and motivated to follow through on their accommodations.

Plus, let’s be honest — as a parent, you probably don’t want to be the one explaining everything forever…and your daughter doesn’t want to always be on the receiving end of your explanations. Giving your teen the chance to attend these meetings also takes some of the burden off you in the future. It teaches her to speak up, ask for help when needed, and communicate her needs effectively. These skills will serve her well beyond high school, in her personal or professional pursuits.

 

STEP 3: The Role of Parents in the Process

Of course, as a parent, you still play a huge role in this process. The goal isn’t to drop your teen into the meeting without preparation, but to gradually help her become an active participant in her learning process. To make this transition smoother, here are a few tips:

1. Prepare Together: Before the meeting, sit down with your teen and go over what will be discussed. Help her understand the types of accommodations that might be available (extra time on tests, breaking assignments into smaller tasks, etc.) and why these can help her succeed. This also gives your teen the opportunity to voice any concerns or preferences.
2. Encourage Open Communication: Remind your teen that this meeting is about her education and well-being. Encourage her to ask questions or share anything she feels would help her learn more effectively. It’s okay if she’s nervous — this is a learning process.
3. Be Supportive, Not Overbearing: Give your teen space to speak for herself, but be there to support her. If she gets stuck or needs help clarifying something, step in gently. This will teach her that she’s not alone in the process, but also that she’s in control.
4. Focus on the Positive: Remind your teen that ADHD doesn’t mean she isn’t capable or intelligent. It just means she may need to do things a little differently than others. Reinforce her strengths and let her know that this meeting is about making sure she has everything she needs to succeed.

 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

Talking to your teen about ADHD and involving her in her 504 or IEP meetings is a huge step toward empowering her to take control of her education. The more you encourage her to engage with the process and advocate for her needs, the better equipped she’ll be to navigate the challenges that come with ADHD.

Remember, ADHD doesn’t define who she is. It’s just one part of the whole person she is becoming. With your support, your teen can turn what may seem like a struggle into an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Remember…

1. Be patient. Understanding ADHD takes time. Your teen may not fully grasp everything at once, but continued conversations will help.
2. Stay positive and open. Your attitude toward ADHD will set the tone for how your teen views it.
3. Let your teen lead. The more she takes ownership of her learning and self-advocacy, the more confident she will become.

Best of luck to you both — and know that you’re doing an incredible job!

 

Let’s talk about emotions—those unpredictable, rollercoaster moments that swing from “I’m doing great!” to “This is the worst day of my life” faster than you can say “emotional dysregulation. If you or someone you know is living with ADHD or neurodivergence, managing emotions can feel like juggling while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. It’s *doable,* but it often requires strategy, balance, and some professional guidance.

 

 What is Emotional Dysregulation?

Before we dive into tools, let’s break down what emotional dysregulation actually means. Simply put, emotional dysregulation refers to difficulty in managing or responding to intense feelings in a way that is proportionate to the situation that triggered them. For many children, adolescents and adults individuals with ADHD, this can mean extreme reactions to stress, frustration, or even minor inconveniences. This isn’t a flaw or weakness: it’s just the ADHD brain just processes emotional information differently. 

Research shows that about 60-70% of individuals with ADHD struggle with emotional dysregulation, whether it’s feeling overwhelmed by small setbacks or experiencing strong moods. This dysregulation leads someone to feel disconnected to themselves, their current situation and any people nearby. It may be related to family, socioeconomic, educational or racial adversity/trauma or differences in brain structures and processes. For many folks, the amygdala hijack happens so quickly that they aren’t fully aware that it’s occurring until afterwards. This is frightening for you and the people around you. It can negatively impact your relationships, work or school performance, and general life satisfaction.

 

Your Toolkit for Managing Strong Emotions

To begin the process of responding instead of reacting,  you’ll need to identify what triggers you, how something bothers and what you can do to  avoid intense  outbursts. You’ll feel calmer (and better about yourself too) when you can reliably use practical, simple exercises to restore emotional and physiological balance in the heat of “those” moments.  In today’s blog, we’ll explore a set of strategies designed to help people who struggle with big feelings manage them more effectively in real time. Sadly, there are no magic wands here—just practical, research-backed methods that  support your well-being and help you handle whatever life throws your way.

WHATS IN THE TOOLKIT?

• Grounding exercises
• ADHD strategies
• Emotional balance
• Coping tools

 

1. Grounding Exercises: Your Emotional Anchor

When you feel untethered by strong emotions, grounding exercises assist you in reconnecting to the present and slowing things down. Think of grounding as your emotional anchor when the storm of big feelings hits. Grounding brings you back to what’s happening around you and to the quiet place within you.

These steps all bring immediate relief by shifting your focus away from emotional chaos to the sensory details and physical balance in your environment. They also soothe disequilibrium.

Popular Grounding Techniques Include:

5-4-3-2-1 Exercise – This one is perfect when anxiety or frustration feels like it’s taking over.  Pause for a moment to notice and name the following:

• 5 things you can see (look around the room)
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste (a mint, a sip of water—whatever works)

Go shoeless: Take off your shoes and your socks. Feel your feet on the ground. Balance on one foot and then the other. Do this five times.

Swing your torso: Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Swing your arms in unison from one side to the other, twisting your body as you do this. Do this five times

 

2. Breathing Exercises.  It sounds simple and perhaps overused, but mindful breathing really works because it slows you down. I’ve created the triangle method of breathing to help my clients with ADHD when they find themselves becoming dysregulated.

•  Inhale for 4 seconds
•  Hold the breath for 4 seconds
• Exhale slowly for 6 seconds
• Pause at empty

Research shows that diaphragmatic breathing like this activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the body and reduce emotional reactivity.

 

3. Physical Exercises: Muscle through with Movement. 

Movement can really help some people physically ground themselves and break the cycle of emotional dysregulation. Whether it’s standing up and sitting back down for a set of 5, stretching in your chair, taking a walk or clenching and releasing your fists or other parts of your body, by engaging your body, you bring your focus back to the present.  This engages your body and brings focus back to the present.

The magic in these techniques lies in their repetition and self-compassion. We aren’t aiming for perfection here. You will not transform suddenly into the ideal easygoing avatar you desire. But, When practiced regularly, grounding exercises train the brain to shift from knee-jerk reactions laden with emotional intensity to more balanced, thoughtful responses.

 

 

4. Install Emotional Pause Buttons: Use my STAR approach 

Impulsive emotional reactions can often be the result of not pausing before responding. But taking that pause is oh-so-hard when emotions run hot. Use my STAR-“STOP, THINK, ACT, RECOVER” method when somebody (including yourself) is getting triggered. First, discuss in advance the physical signs of upset–tightness in chest, a headache, loud voices, tears. Then decide what your plan will be when they show up and how you will take that PAUSE. Using the STAR method can be a game-changer for you and your family. 

 

5. Call A Lifeline: Use Your Support Network

Having a reliable support system makes ALL the difference. You don’t have to handle everything by yourself and, sometimes, we all need a lifeline to call. I have reached out many times to close friends or family members in times of distress or dysregulation. Take a minute now and write down the names of at least two people you can contact when the going gets tough. For many people with ADHD, there’s so much shame about being dysregulated in the first place that it can be tough to ask for help. Remember, everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, loses it sometimes. 

For parents and adults with ADHD, connecting with a therapist or a coach (here I am!!)  can offer ongoing support, insight and understanding about the causes and responses to intense feelings and disruption. In fact, one study found that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) tailored for ADHD is especially effective in helping manage emotional dysregulation. The road to emotional balance is paved with self-compassion. It’s about acknowledging that emotions will come and go, but with the right tools, we can navigate them with more confidence and less chaos.

  

There is no magic spell to reduce emotional dysregulation. The ‘charms’ in these techniques lie in their repetition and self-compassion. We aren’t aiming for perfection here but rather steadiness in practicing them. You will not transform suddenly into the ideal easygoing avatar you desire. But, when practiced regularly, these tools  train the brain to shift from knee-jerk reactions laden with emotional intensity to more balanced, thoughtful responses.