Youth & Technology: How Social Media Affects the Mental Health of Children with ADHD

People on mobile phones standing in a circleLet’s face it: screens are a defining feature in the lives of both children and adolescents. Whether it’s social media apps (i.e. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or Discord), YouTube videos, gaming, television, texting, listening to music or buying material goods, kids today are extremely adept at and focused on their phones, computers and tablets. But how can the constant desire to check social media affect our mental health? Especially for those with ADHD or neurodivergent needs. Well, for starters it’s important to understand that virtual reality is their reality. There’s often no real difference between what happens online and in real life for those with ADHD. One question I’m often asked is “How do screens affect the development and behavior of our youngsters, especially those with ADHD?” Great question, let’s talk about it.   A new study by Jason M. Nagata, Jonathan Chu and authors on (July 26, 2022) examined whether total screen time per day affected the onset of oppositional defiant and conduct disorders (ODD and CD) in children between the ages of nine and eleven. They found some really interesting results. First, the average amount of screen time per day was four hours. Secondly, for each hour of screen time or social media, the frequency of new onset disruptive behaviors included lying and sneaking. The strongest association was between social media and conduct disorder, with one hour on social media linked to a 62% higher rate of occurrence. Now, what does this research mean for kids and teens with ADHD who already have higher rates of ODD (30-50% overall) and CD (25% in children and 45% in teens)? and How can parents manage the intrusions of social media and screens in their families to avoid the development of disruptive behavioral conditions while fostering better emotional regulation and teach impulse control?

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How Parents Can Easily Manage Digital Media Time

1. Guide them, don’t threaten

What your child or teen needs most is guidance from you–not threats or punishments for managing how they interact with the digital world. Neither punishing nor separating tweens and teens from their phones will produce the results you are looking for because these disciplinary acts don’t teach any skills. Plus, separating kids from their phones can actually result in social isolation and alienation from peers which nobody wants either. So what is a concerned parent or caregiver to do when they are only trying to help? Keep reading for more tips. 

2. Recall the ADHD fundamentals

Start by recalling the basic biology and fundamental characteristics of ADHD. Kids with ADHD often struggle with impulse control, emotional regulation and following directions due to a delay in the prefrontal cortex maturity and challenge with several executive functioning skills simultaneously.  While neurodivergent kids and teenagers (those with ADHD, LD, 2E and ASD) may struggle to concentrate on or complete tasks they dislike, they can perform very well and focus for a long time on activities they like. Such as social media and video games. This differential attention is a core aspect of ADHD and it’s related to naturally lower amounts of the neurotransmitter dopamine.  Pings, colors and quick, easily achievable levels of achievement seen in online games, Snapchat, or other apps activate novelty detectors in the dopamine pathways in our brains. These pathways manage attention, pleasure and addiction. It’s easier for people with ADHD to become totally engaged in their digital activities because the technology generates the dopamine–pleasure, satisfaction and reward systems–their brains lack. It’s much tougher to stop high-dopamine pursuits because nothing else seems as fun, captivating or compelling. Who wants to stop gaming or scrolling through Instagram to set the table for dinner and then eat the meal? Probably not your youngster with ADHD.

3. Watch out for social comparisons

Young teen sad with arm on desk Some of the most serious consequences of the digital world are social comparisons. Social media and the digital world frequently lead kids to create unrealistic personal expectations that can be inspiring or destructive to their mental health. While it’s a natural part of teen identity formation to compare yourself to others and look for similarities and contrasts, often kids with ADHD who already feel a greater sense of insecurity believe they just don’t measure up. Research has found that adolescents who already suffer from low self-esteem or mild depression are more likely to make frequent social media comparisons that negatively affect their well-being and mental health. Avoid that by implementing a balanced media diet. 

 

How to Implement a Balanced Media Plan + The 5 C’s

African American family smiling and watching tv together Creating an effective and balanced media diet won’t be easy. You will likely encounter pushback, threats, negotiations and pleading. But it will be worth it.

Try Using Dr. Sharon Saline’s 5 C’s

1. self-Control: Monitor your own triggers and take a time-apart when necessary to regroup. 2. Compassion: Remember how hard it is for your child biologically to stop using technology and incorporate some empathy. 3. Collaboration: Work with them for solutions instead of forcing rules on them so they have buy-in. 4. Consistency: Aim for regularity in whatever program you create, not perfection. Explain exceptions when they occur. 5. Celebration: Notice signs of cooperation, make eye contact and verbally acknowledge what you’ve observed to build on the wins.  Remember, meet kids where they are, not where you think they should be. Have sympathy for yourself too. It’s easier to accept your child and their challenges when you can do this personally. Always feel free to reach out to me at info@drsharonsaline.com.   Dr. Sharon Saline headshot

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YouTube: Live Q&A with ADDitude Magazine on “Transition Trouble”

Dr. Sharon Saline offers advice with ADDitude Magazine during a Live Facebook Q&A on how to create and maintain summer routines. Learn more tips to help your family maintain summer routines in her blog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM7QbJFNMKc

ADDitude Magazine: Expert Tips on How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Fear of Rejection for Adults

“Q: My Fear of Rejection Keeps Me Socially Isolated”

Woman standing in bubble- ADDitude Picture Social anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria cause people with ADHD to feel isolated, self-conscious, and stressed. Here are expert tips on how to improve social skills and alleviate your social anxiety.

Q: “I want to socialize more with my co-workers and neighbors, but my fear of rejection — thanks to my ADHD — keeps me from reaching out. I’m afraid I’ll say or do the wrong thing. How can I overcome this?” Learn more tips to treat social anxiety and rejection in Dr. Saline’s article on ADDitude.com:

 

Read the full article on ADDitude: “Q: My Fear of Rejection Keeps Me Socially Isolated”

https://www.additudemag.com/social-anxiety-treatment-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-adhd/ ADDitude Magazine logo


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ADDitude Magazine: School Shootings, Mass Tragedies, Anxiety

How Do You Reassure Your Anxious Child When You’re Scared, Too?

Parent/Woman hugging little girl near trees

“As caregivers, we want to show up fully for our children in these troubled times. It’s natural to want to protect them, even as we struggle to comfort ourselves. Our kids have this amazing antenna that can pick up on and absorb our stress. They notice when we’re feeling worried or a little bit off balance. And at this time when so many of us are feeling powerless and helpless by school shootings and gun violence, our kids are detecting and intensifying those emotions.” Learn more tips for child and adult anxiety in Dr. Saline’s article on ADDitude.com:

Read the full article on ADDitude: “How Do You Reassure Your Anxious Child When You’re Scared, Too?”

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YourTango: 7 Tools For Managing Childhood Anxiety

“Most kids and adults just want their anxiety to go away NOW. As parents, we try to anticipate and cope with the fear of our child or teen by trying to protect them from the pain. I don’t know about you, but this rarely worked in my family because the worries just came back. Anxiety — the physiological response to powerful worries — needs to be addressed head on. We have to teach our kids tools to cope with their worries so they feel empowered and confident enough to take risks and meet unforeseen challenges.” Learn more tips for childhood anxiety in Dr. Saline’s article on YourTango:

Read the full article on YourTango: “7 Tools For Managing Childhood Anxiety”


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CHADD ADHD Newsstand: Help Your Child Better Cope with Social Anxiety

“Social anxiety is a fear that people will scrutinize you in familiar or unfamiliar social situations and that this negative judgment will have harmful effects on you,” says Sharon Saline, PsyD, author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life. Children and teens with social anxiety disorder tend to focus on what they believe other people are thinking about them, something that is outside of reality, says Dr. Saline. A child may be afraid of being judged if they speak out in class, and the fear may be so overwhelming that they say nothing. This can loop to feeling even more anxiety because they worry about also being judged for not saying anything.”

Read the full article featuring Dr. Saline on CHADD.org: Help Your Child Better Cope with Social Anxiety

 

Artı Enstitü: DEHB ve Üretken Erteleme (ADHD and Productive Procrastination)

“Gecikme nasıl durdurulur? Erteleme davranışı, bir şeylere başlamayı ve bitirmeyi doğal olarak zorlaştıran bir durum olarak DEHB’li bireyleri zayıf düşürebilir. Erteleme davranışı gösteren bireylerin çoğu nadiren zamanlarını hiçbir şey yapmadan harcarlar. Bunun yerine, daha karmaşık, daha zor işlerden ziyade daha kolay görevlere odaklanırlar. Bu “üretken ertelemeyi” azaltmak, öz-düzenleme, organizasyon ve önceliklendirmeyi geliştirmeye dayanır. Gerçekte başarabileceğiniz şeyleri yapamayacağınızı söyleyen olumsuz iç konuşmayı sınırlamak, sizi Bilinçlendirmeye yönlendirecektir.”

Read the full article published by Artı Enstitü (Turkish)

“DEHB ve Üretken Erteleme” (ADHD and Productive Procrastination)

Çeviren: Psikolojik Danışman Oğuzhan Karaboğa (Translated by: Psychological Counselor Oğuzhan Karaboğa) NOTE: This is a translation of the original article “ADHD and Productive Procrastination” published in English on PsychologyToday.com.

Overcoming Negative Thinking: 5 Tips for Adults with ADHD

group of friends eating outdoorsHave you ever noticed how people with ADHD, regardless of their age, remember, the negative things people say about them more than the positive? While all human brains are wired for the negativity bias, the minds of those with ADHD seem particularly vulnerable to holding on to what is “bad” about them. Most likely, this pattern developed over many years of criticism for not remembering things, not doing things properly, not controlling themselves, etc. Our ancestors needed the ability to learn and remember lessons from bad experiences for survival. People today, however, need to learn how to retain lessons from good experiences. This positive reinforcement helps us grow, learn new skills and be self-confident–all important contributors to a fulfilling life. If you find that your negative thinking is getting in the way of a more positive outlook, know that change is possible. Read on to learn about 5 approaches that will help ADHD adults overcome negative thinking and lead a more rewarding and productive life.

Focus on beneficial experiences

mother and daughter laughing togetherPositive, beneficial experiences not only serve as the foundation of self-esteem and self-management, but they also nourish inner strengths. In order for the good moments to outmaneuver the negativity bias, they have to be installed in the brain’s neural structures. This process requires being held in the working memory long enough to be transferred to the long-term memory. Folks with ADHD, by definition, usually struggle with working memory challenges. So, this transfer doesn’t occur as frequently as we would like, if at all. So the key is to focus on positive thoughts and experiences more frequently. By gradually increasing these good moments, you will get to that “long enough” period to reverse the negativity bias. Then, you can live in the power of ‘yet’ instead of the shadow of ‘can’t.’ By accepting that life is a series of taking reasonable risks, weighing the costs and the benefits of things, and being spontaneous when the time is right, you turn up the volume on optimism and confidence. You pay more attention to what is going well and your innate talents. This process helps you build resources to assist you when the going gets tough. You learn to distinguish between real threats and distortions that mimic them. So how do you actually lower the noise of the negativity bias?

5 approaches to overcome negative thinking for adults with ADHD

1. Slow down

man sleeping in hammockWhen something good happens, relish it. In our ultra fast-paced world, everyone moves on to the next thing so quickly, that the important integration needed to consolidate memory can be missed. Slow down by taking a more mindful approach to your day. As the saying goes, stop and smell the roses. Release the pressure to stay focused by allowing your mind to wander. Take time to notice when something feels good, and reflect on that experience. Maybe you enjoyed your favorite lunch in the park. Perhaps a coworker complimented you on a job well done. Or, you’re simply feeling good on this day and looking forward to seeing a movie with a friend later. Catch these positive feelings in the moment, and savor them.

2. Reflect on the day’s highs and lows

Practice doing ‘highs and lows of the day’ at dinner with friends or family. If others aren’t around, try journaling, or find a comfortable spot for self-reflection. By doing this exercise, you create a safe place to hold both the positive and negative occurrences simultaneously–giving them equal weight. This process will help build new, essential neural pathways.  To avoid dwelling on the lows too long, try to think of an actionable way to bounce back or learn from a negative situation. This will help build your resilience and boost confidence. Here are a couple examples of positive turnabouts: high and low nob positioned to high

I was too distracted at work today and didn’t finish what I promised to do. Tomorrow, I will find a quiet place to focus on my project.

I feel bad that I forgot to wish my parents a happy anniversary. I’ll set up a reminder to call them tomorrow morning. I know they will be happy to hear from me, even if I’m a day late.

If daily ‘highs and lows’ are too much to fit in, then do them once a week at regular times, like Sunday dinners. This way, you can reflect on the previous week and set the tone for the week ahead.

3. Seek supportive connections

These days, there’s a lot to be upset about in the world, and we don’t have control over most of it. But, we can control whom we welcome into our lives. We can seek out people who are kind, understanding and supportive. Adults with ADHD benefit from a support system of people who understand your particular challenges. These individuals and communities can prop you up if you’re stuck in a negative mindset. They may be friends, neighbors, relatives or coworkers. Open yourself up to those who will bring positivity and caring into your life. You will create good memories and enjoy positive experiences through strong relationships. These interactions build the neural pathways we are seeking to create, increase inner strengths and foster interpersonal connection. 

4. The mind/body connection

woman smiling with yoga mat and water bottleExercise and physical well-being have a positive impact on our emotions and state of mind. A walk, bike ride or even dancing can improve your mood just as much as it provides you with an energy boost. Yoga and meditation are mindfulness tools which can help you focus and stay positive. Exercising also allows you to take a break from your daily demands. Most importantly, physical activity keeps you away from screens and devices, so your mind can rest and unplug. Make movement a part of your self-care routine, and enjoy the benefits of calm and relaxation.

5. Keep it up with a growth mindset

For ADHD adults, the pull towards negativity and retaining bad experiences is longstanding and ingrained. Reversing the course is an uphill challenge. However, it is possible to improve and be successful with practice and patience. Take things one day at a time, and use a “growth mindset” approach. Simply put, be open to learning from your experiences and changing for the better. See if you can gradually increase the good moments in your day, and keep building them up like a stack of blocks. If you have a setback, acknowledge it. Then dust yourself off to get back on track. Resilience goes a long way in turning a negative mindset to a positive one. So, start building the good today!


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Psychology Today: ADHD and Productive Procrastination

“Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with dreaded tasks that you do anything else instead of beginning them? Does it seem like you’re running in place and not getting where you want to go? Instead of calling yourself “lazy” or a “slacker,” consider that many people with ADHD struggle with procrastination. Whether it’s wanting things to be perfect—and not starting something because you can’t get it that way—avoiding a dreaded task that seems miserable, or going to the car wash instead of writing the report that’s due tomorrow, if you have ADHD, you have natural executive functioning challenges related to initiation, motivation, and goal-directed persistence.” Read the full article by Dr. Saline!

“ADHD and Productive Procrastination: How to stop delaying and get to the main task.”

By Dr. Sharon Saline on Psychology Today

ADDitude ‘Mental Health Out Loud’ Webinar – Trauma, Anxiety, School Violence & More

Trauma, Anxiety, School Violence & More https://youtu.be/sGXD2TfOqTU “In December 2021, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an unprecedented public advisory regarding the youth mental health crisis in America, which took root before COVID but has grown alarmingly more severe in the last two years. Roughly 1 in 5 children ages 3 to 17 in the U.S. has a mental, emotional, developmental, or behavioral disorder. And 1 in 3 high school students reports persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness. The COVID pandemic has disrupted the lives of all children, but its adverse effects are particularly severe for children and teens with disabilities, for racial and ethnic minorities, for LGBTQ+ youth, and for other young people in vulnerable populations. Add to all of this yet another horrific school shooting — this time the murder of 19 students and 2 teachers in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24 — and many parents are justifiably worried.

  • How do we talk with our neurodivergent kids without increasing their anxiety?
  • How can I make them feel safe without lying to them?
  • Is my child’s level of worry normal?
  • What if my teen is just apparently numb, avoiding any discussion of hard topics?
  • How can we keep our kids safe, above all else?

This conversation with Sharon Saline, Psy.D., touches on all these important and immediate mental health concerns. Dr. Saline discusses “small t” traumas from repeated exposure to stresses. In addition, she discusses the dissociation and numbness that often accompanies these traumas, Compassion fatigue, and ways to move forward in the wake of a tragedy or family stress, . She also answers questions from the ADDitude audience — including questions submitted prior to and during the live event.”

Watch the Webinar / Q&A Replay!

“Trauma, Anxiety, School Violence & More”

ADDitude ‘Mental Health Out Loud’ Webinar & Q&A with Dr. Sharon Saline