artefact_admin, Author at Dr. Sharon Saline

Parenting Older Teens with ADHD: Land the helicopter and focus on scaffolding

Launching older teens with ADHD can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Your adolescent might be preparing to leave the shelter of high school for college, a gap year, trade school, an apprenticeship or a job. How do you know when to support them and when to let go? What signs indicate they are ready for the independence they desire? Teens with ADHD who often need more support for longer than is typically expected. Therefore, parenting older teens with ADHD might come with even more questions and concern. Above all, for scaffolding to be successful, your kids need to participate in its design. When parents practice compassion, collaboration and consistency with their teens, they foster much smoother transitions to adulthood.

Helicoptering vs. Scaffolding

There’s a big difference between being a helicopter parent and one who uses scaffolding. Helicopter parents exercise constant supervision and are over-engaged in their teen’s academic and social lives. They’re directing things to go a certain way. In addition, they’re doing things for their kids instead of letting them try more often on their own. In contrast, parental scaffolding helps teens prepare for adulthood by helping them practice independence. Instead of telling older teens and young adults how to do things and what they should choose, you discuss options. Then, when they’re 18 or older, they decide what makes sense. Rather than provide the answers to their dilemmas or problems, you offer resources and point them in the right direction. Therefore, you replace reminders with mutually created systems that foster self-reliance. You do this even if it means that your son or daughter may not succeed at something as often as you’d like. Teaching executive functioning skills, facilitating opportunities for self-reflection and exploring obstacles that prevent follow through and completion become your focus now. As the parent of two emerging adults, I know how tough it can be to witness our children struggling and succeeding–on their own terms. Although it’s much easier to say what we think and tell them why we are right, this type of communication doesn’t result in a trusting relationship. Scaffolding strategies will show more respect for their growing maturity.

Fostering Connected Independence

Connected independence is really our goal now. Ideally, our emerging adults see that we can assist them or offer advice when they seek it, demonstrate empathy regardless of the situation, and believe in their abilities to make good choices. Parents are there for you as needed, but they’re not running the show. In the meantime, to get to that place, your older adolescent will test all kinds of limits and resist taking directions from you, no matter how right you are. Teens with ADHD really need to learn from experience. For most parents, and for kids themselves, it’s a confusing time. It’s also an opportunity for you to examine your dreams for them and let them go. Take a minute and consider your agenda for your child and the type of pressure you may be placing on them. How is it working? If it’s not, do you know why? Try doing more of what works.

Tips and Tools for Parenting Older Teens with ADHD

Use these tips to foster connected independence in your family and strengthen the scaffolding of growing executive functioning skills to better help teens prepare for adulthood.

1. Listen with genuine curiosity:

Acknowledge what you hear and use reflective listening tools to show this: “I heard you say X, did I get that right? Is there anything else?” Ask questions using how, what, when and where instead of why. Pause before thinking and reflect on what you are going to say. Are you telling them what to do? If so, how can you reframe that into a question.

2. Separate your anxiety from theirs:

When we are worried about the choices our older adolescents are making, we share our anxiety–out loud or nonverbally. Monitor your concerns, keep them separate from those of your son or daughter and talk about your feelings with someone else–a friend, family member or counselor. Part of maturing into adulthood is knowing that your parents believe in your capacity for resilience. If you need to share your worries with your child, then do so neutrally.

3. Pick your battles:

Figure out what your bottom line is about certain touchy subjects and negotiate compromises. Perhaps it is setting house limits about substance use, agreeing on minimum GPA, managing finances, or respectful language. Agree on your role for giving reminders and when you will say nothing. In general, waiting 24 hours to process something upsetting lets everybody cool down enough to have a real conversation. Effective compromises usually mean that you give a little, they give a little and nobody is fully happy with the solution. Of course, you need to intervene in matters of health and safety but discuss in advance what those might be.

4. Maintain your perspective:

Negotiating the passage to adulthood takes time, practice and frustration. Take a giant step backwards to look at the entire picture. Should your child stay in college when they’re failing 3 out of 4 courses? Similarly, is keeping a miserable job with an abusive boss worth persistent high stress, insomnia, substance abuse or self-harming behaviors? Probably not. Place your attention on who they are more than what they do. Parenting older teens with ADHD often involves given them extra time and space to figure things out without excessive pressure from you. They already feel ashamed of their struggles. Remember, most kids want to grow up and be self-reliant like their peers. Talk about what they envision for themselves and help them find a counselor who really understands ADHD.

5. Facilitate learning life skills:

The ADHD brain matures more slowly than neurotypical brains, lagging up to three years. Collaborate with your emerging adult on lagging skill areas that frustrate them. Often these involve organization, time management, planning and prioritizing. Let them take the lead on picking the ONE area that needs to be improved. Brainstorm possible solutions, explore the steps needed to work on this skill and clarify how you can help. In addition, talk with them about managing their own healthcare, prescriptions, budgets and transportation. Most young people I work with still need assistance in understanding how to do these things.

6. Stay steady:

Emerging adulthood is a time of great change and instability. Kids come and go from your house, moving around as they try to understand the world around them and what really matters. Be there as a steady force in the midst of all of these ups and downs, loving them with open arms and a zipped mouth. They are learning as they go along: that’s what this developmental stage is all about. Expect them to reject you and your advice and give them the gift of compassion anyway. Remember what you were like at your kid’s age. What would you have wanted most from your parents? Would it have helicoptering or scaffolding strategies? I would have liked fewer questions about how I was going to use my college degree and more trust in the process of my explorations. Ultimately, I figured it out, and I bet you did too. Your teen will too.

Articles, interviews & more by Dr. Saline:

Relearning Parenthood: When Children Reach Adulthood, What Then? (Psychotherapy Networker article by Dr. Saline)
How to Get Your Teens to Open Up (WWLP 22 News Interview with Dr. Sharon Saline)

Handouts, Webinars & More in Dr. Saline’s Store:

https://drsharonsaline.com/product/anxiety/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Moms with ADHD: Nurturing your power of authenticity

Parents are jugglers. Education, events, extra-curricular activities, hobbies, sports, chores, work–at any given time we’ve got several balls in the air. On top of managing all of this, women have to deal with the additional issue of cultural standards of motherhood that lead us to comparing ourselves to some idealized version of what being a mother should be. We all do this, and it’s harmful to our self-esteem and self-confidence. For moms with ADHD, it can be even more challenging to tackle everyday tasks.

Finding confidence as a neurodivergent mother

If you’re a neurodivergent mother, you might feel like you come up short next to neurotypical parents. What you need to remember, regardless of your circumstance, is that you are the best mother for your child. You have birthed or adopted them, you have nurtured them, and you have loved them to the best of your ability and within your personal resources. It’s time to stop looking at what you are not doing, and start valuing your authentic self. Our kids are our greatest teachers, and the lessons we learn from them aren’t always easy ones. But, regardless of the ups and downs, the most important thing is to nurture our connection with them. We are often judged as parents based on how our children act and what they achieve, instead of who they are as people. Maintaining authentic connections with your neurodivergent child, and conveying your love for who they are, demonstrates what good parenting is all about. Yes, you will get angry and frustrated. Yes, you will laugh and cry with them. And yes, this is what makes you a strong, helpful and attuned mother. Here are some helpful steps moms with ADHD can take to move towards nurturing authenticity in relationships. Let them also remind you of what a powerful mother you truly are.

Four ways moms with ADHD can nurture authenticity:

1. Notice your courageous behavior over the years.

It’s important to stop comparing your insides to other people’s outsides. You are the best mom that you can be given the resources that you have. As a neurodivergent mother with ADHD, it’s unhelpful comparing yourself to neurotypical moms or moms with neurotypical children. Everyone’s circumstance is different. Reflect on ways that you’ve taken risks and done things with your kids that made you feel proud. What are things you do with your child that make you feel good about yourself? Is there a specific family memory that makes you feel happy? Have you advocated for them in a unique or special way, or have they helped you to be an advocate for yourself? Write some of this down so you can keep it for the good times and the bad when it can really help you to reinforce your self-esteem.

2. The key to self-forgiveness is owning your stuff.

No matter who we are, we have our moments and slip up sometimes. Consider giving a genuine apology about a recent event as a surprise gift to your children and to yourself. Express how you are working on changing your behavior to change things in the future. And then work on it. I have worked through many things with my kids, including my reactivity. I try to own my stuff as much as I can and they certainly let me know when I don’t. When I’ve done something that hurts them, I don’t make an excuse. I say, “I’m sorry that I did that and that I hurt you.” It helps to take the pressure out of a situation and to make everyone feel more at ease with each other. When you do this for your kids, you are directly modeling accountability. This is a crucial lesson in their development and can be so rewarding. Remember, we are all fallible, we are all human.

3. Show up for yourself as much as you do for others.

Many women think that being a good person is about sacrifice. We believe we need to prioritize others before ourselves. We give and give and give and then feel bad when we can’t give more. Because of this, it can be so easy to criticize yourself when you aren’t showing up the way you think you should. This isn’t good for us or our children, to see us stress about things in this way. Sometimes, we (moms) try to control situations or people in an effort to fit our reality into our perfect picture in our minds. My inner critic often says to me, “You know what? You can do this better.” It’s debilitating because it makes me feel like what I do is never good enough. I know where it’s coming from in my family history. Have you considered where your thoughts stem from in your history? What would it be like to show up for yourself without judgment? What does your inner critic say to you?

For moms with ADHD, it’s important to accept yourself with your blemishes, quirks, and all. This takes mindfulness. What can you say to yourself instead of thinking so negatively? Vocalize and acknowledge the aspects of yourself–what works and what could be improved. Acknowledge the beauty in the balance. This helps fill up your emotional bucket.

Having difficulty focusing on the good? Keep a journal every night and write down three things that went well that day. They can be really small. It can be something as small as “I liked the stir fry at dinner,” or “My toothpaste was refreshing,” but it can move mountains in helping you to focus on the positive.

4. Nurture connections instead of solving problems.

As mothers, we can be quick to find solutions for our children’s issues. But it is very rare that people want us to solve their problems for them. Our children want to feel heard and assisted with their troubles, not necessarily told what to do. Meet your kids where they are and brainstorm solutions together. Use your creativity, energy and strategic thinking to guide both of you to options organically. Be an ally. As a mother with ADHD, there are so many unique facets to your personality that aid you in being an adventurous and caring parent. Focus more on those instead of your limitations. No matter what, make sure to nurture yourself so that you can show up for your family. If you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you won’t be able to assist anybody else.

Read more blog posts:

Watch on Dr. Saline’s YouTube Channel:

Moms with ADHD: Why YOU Are the Best Mother for Your Child
ADHD in Couples’ Relationships (ADDitude ADHD Support Group Q&A with Dr. Saline)
Dads with ADHD: A Father’s Day Special

https://drsharonsaline.com/product/anxiety/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Post-Pandemic Self-Care for Parents: 12 Tips for Wellness Practices in a New Normal

Over the past year, we’ve touched on the importance of self-care for parents during the pandemic. It’s essential for parents to take care of themselves during these times, especially parents of children and teens who struggle with ADHD, learning disabilities, anxiety and other issues. After finally having adjusted to personal care practices in quarantine, it may be time to start considering adjusting to life in a new normal. Here are some tips to help update practices of post-pandemic self-care for parents. Although the road to conquering COVID-19 remains long, there does seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. With vaccination rollouts happening at a relatively fast pace in the United States, and increasingly more common elsewhere, it’s time to prepare for entering social situations. This may require a little extra energy right now, but there are ways to help make the transition easier and more exciting for you and your family. It starts with a solid self-care routine for parents that might look much different than what you’re used to. Here’s my advice.

12 tips for post-pandemic self-care for parents:

1. Expect that things will look different post-pandemic.

Change can be difficult. It’s normal to feel anxious about another change. To help adjust, plan for unpredictability and some discomfort with the world reopening. And when the discomfort overwhelms you, see if you can find comfort knowing that change is a catalyst for growth.

2. Create a safety net.

Identify what you need to feel safe leaving your house. Post a list to remind your family of self-care items, for parents and kids. Common list items may include your run-of-the-mill wallet (forms of payment, photo ID, etc.), mask, hand sanitizer, keys, and cell phone. Bringing a water bottle, notebook to keep yourself occupied in semi-public situations, a book, and other items may help you shift slowly into a more social mindset. Post-pandemic, your safety net may also expand to include your vaccination card, immune boosters, a thermometer, or oximeter. Be sure your children and teens with ADHD have extra masks and hand sanitizer as they will likely lose things along the way. These items will help you feel more comfortable with this shift.

3. Navigate the social scene slowly.

Give yourself time and space to enter the world and meet with people. Follow your own levels of comfort. Keep in mind that your capacity to handle social situations may have changed quite a bit in a more isolated environment. Self-care considerations for parents might look different now than they did pre-pandemic. Give yourself grace and space to accept your new energy levels, and adjust your calendar according to them (instead of the other way around).

4. Wonder instead of worry.

Shift the perspective from worrying about what might happen to curiosity about the future. Curiosity is the starting point for all creativity and knowledge, after all. Recall times in the past when you’ve been courageous and link those experiences to what’s going on now.

5. Expect awkward moments and accept them.

It can be hard to know what to do and say post-pandemic. It’s been a long time since many of us were around humans in person regularly. Putting words to how you feel can help people understand your thought process and brain space. Making jokes can help other people feel comfortable. Honestly? They’re probably feeling similar and are not sure how to explain it.

6. Create statements to connect.

Practice makes perfect. Because you now have a shared experience, your small talk might look a little bit different. In fact, it might not be small talk at all. Create a list of statements, thoughts, and questions you’d like to use to engage with people post-pandemic. Questions like “How are things going?” “What are you doing?” “Are you able to work?” “Have you gotten a vaccine yet?” and more can really relay that you care, and open up a deeper conversation. Always keep in mind that saying something positive will help the person you’re speaking with be comfortable with you. This is one way self-care for parents can positively impact family and friends, too. Kind observations and new things learned can help create depth in your interactions. Positive statements will also leave a better – and perhaps lasting – impression on your acquaintances, family, and friends.

7. Be empathic.

It’s been hard on all of us. What’s been tough? What’s gone well? Be sure to engage these questions with yourself often, and acknowledge that others may be struggling with the same thoughts. Open yourself to the fact that you have a shared experience in this pandemic, and there are more opportunities to bond moving forward.

8. Start small.

Instead of expecting to go back like gangbusters, be kind to yourself and pace your exposure and contact. This will be difficult for the parents who tackle a million things a day, and who are used to a hectic family schedule. You and your children have missed your friends, but heading back into the world can happen gradually for your family. Self-care for parents means allowing yourself to dip your toes in first.

9. Acknowledge the stress pile-on of the past year.

Our stress bucket, already filled to the brim, is now overflowing. Take some time each day to decompress. Everything has been heavier, and you have been managing as well as you can, given whatever resources (external and internal) you have. Give yourself credit for what you and you’r family have done, not what you haven’t done!

10. Mind your sleep.

All of this uncertainty can affect your sleep. What can help to interrupt this pattern is to adjust your bedtime ritual. Keeping away from bright lights and screens for about an hour before you go to bed is ideal for better sleep. Getting some time outdoors during the day will help to naturally regulate your sleep cycle. If your sleep continues to be uneven, consult with your doctor.

11. Simplify your to-do list.

We are living on an information overload. Television, phones, radios, and other technological devices are providing information at a rapid pace. Meanwhile, we consume messages from the world around us in multiple other forms of media. There is a lot going on all around us constantly, and it can be hard to absorb everything, let alone have the energy to personally contribute to anything. Multitasking is really a myth. To reduce overwhelm, make a conscious effort to do one thing at a time and no more than two. Boundaries are an important component of self-care for parents and can make a big impact on your wellbeing.

12. Consciously lower your expectations (or allow some grace into your life).

We have numerous factors that lead to persistent weariness. Making sure the well-being of our children is taken care of while developing and growing our relationships across the board isn’t an easy feat. That, coupled with stressors like work, home and family obligations and other variants can really take a toll on you. Consider making fewer plans, and lower your expectations for what you “should” accomplish. Focus on what nourishes you instead.

Maintaining your post-pandemic self-care practices

Once you are able to focus on the smaller circumstances and practices that make things better, you can practice gratitude more – perhaps even with your ADHD child! Acknowledging the positive, noticing individual talents and doing activities together all show your ADHD child or teen that you care about who they are and you are glad that they are in your lives. It can also help them express gratitude that you may not otherwise feel on a daily basis. The past year has been difficult for everyone. It’s important that we all learn to care for ourselves as we move forward. Self-care for parents positively impacts kids, too. Family relationships often improve and parents model healthy behavior for kids and teens. So whether you’re experiencing resilience fatigue – which comes from being depleted mentally, physically and emotionally – social anxiety, or otherwise, it’s time to prioritize your wellbeing. As we approach re-opening, keep in mind the 5 C’s of ADHD parenting. Once you’ve established your own self-care routine, consider talking to your teen about creating one, too!

5 Tips for Parenting Neurodiverse Kids on the Same Page

Parenting with a former or current partner who doesn’t share your views about neurodiversity, including ADHD, learning disabilities, twice-exceptionality or autism, can be very challenging–for you and for your child or teen. Neurodiverse kids really need consistent messages, similar schedules and clear expectations. If they are moving from one household to another, this regularity becomes essential. This can be difficult enough when parents live together and even tougher when they don’t. Perhaps your parents or in-laws help with childcare but don’t believe in neurodiverse diagnoses or understand them. In these situation, parenting neurodiverse kids on the same page as other caregivers can seem nearly impossible.

Aiming to be steady, not perfect, when parenting neurodiverse kids

Your goal isn’t perfection–being consistent at all times–but rather steadiness. Steady household routines and steady parenting help children and teens learn what to expect. Because of this, cooperation improves and anxiety is reduced. Being able to predict what’s coming, more or less, helps them manage their emotions. In addition, it helps them organize their stuff and plan for the transitions.

Shifting from one thing to another and demonstrating flexibility are tough for many neurodiverse kids. They can make these adjustments more readily if there is a repetitive pattern along with helpful checklists. This goes for working on similar executive functioning skills at school and home, too.

When parents are separated or divorced, you’re not with with your ex for a number of reasons. However, you are still connected through your child(ren). You may not like each other, and you might not want to be friendly. That’s up to you. You may live with a partner who has totally separate ideas about parenting from you. Either way, you’ve got to find ways to work together when it comes to parenting your neurodiverse kids – it’s in the best interest of your children. Research has found that the best measure of a child’s well-being after divorce is how the parents can get along. What can you do to coordinate care across multiple households with less stress and more cooperation?

Follow these tips for more effective partnership parenting:

1. Finding a way to work together:

If you are unable to have civil conversations, find mutual ground or discuss delicate subjects without major arguments, determine how you will communicate about touchy subjects. Practice reflective listening so each person feels heard and understood as a first step towards compromise.

If talking is difficult, agree to send fact-based emails about your child or teen with updates about what’s happened at your house this week, issues with school or friends or any concerns. Perhaps create a general daily routine which can be adapted to the needs of each household and share it online. For some people, even these steps are difficult. I would strongly recommend that you seek counseling with someone who is educated in parenting neurodiverse kids.

2. Prioritize your neurodiverse kid’s needs:

Decide what issues are the main priority for your child based on information from school, extracurricular activities and/or medical needs. Identify your child’s strengths and challenges and find a place of agreement or overlap. Lean into the challenges that you both perceive first. Pick something small to address that can span both households. Then, outline how you’re going to address this. If you are unable to figure this out on your own, seek some help from your PCP or pediatrician, or consider counseling. Remember, your child’s welfare is the center of the story not your issues with your (ex) partner.

3. Create similar routines:

Things don’t have to be identical at each household or between each partner in the same household, but they need to resemble each other. When it comes to parenting neurodiverse kids, it doesn’t help your child to play ‘good cop’ and ‘bad cop.’ Supporting routines and collaborating as adults isn’t about control or who’s got the power in the family. Rather, it’s about what serves the best interest of your child. Perhaps your son has different sets of chores at each house, but you agree that he has chores. Maybe your daughter does her homework at different times but has comparable bedtimes. Setting related guidelines about screen usage is also important.

4. Parenting neurodiverse kids with a unified treatment approach:

Many parents don’t agree on medication, counseling, coaching or tutors. What do you agree on when it comes to parenting your neurodiverse kids? You may have different opinions because you have different knowledge bases. How can you meet in the middle? Who could assist you with this? I encourage you to talk to your PCP or pediatrician about this or maybe take a webinar together that focuses on parenting neurodiverse kids.

5. Set logical consequences:

We know that punishment is ineffective. Punishment won’t help for parenting neurodiverse kids, and it doesn’t teach any skills. Learning effective self-management skills is critically important for them so then can eventually move into self-reliant adulthood. What do consequences look like in each house, and for what offenses?

When there is similarity in how parents deal with issues, and when the adults come together on big issues based on shared values and morals, children and teens respond with more cooperation. Make a collaborative plan as a family for what you are going to do to manage misbehaviors, backtalk, aggression, lying etc. Consider creating a contract that everybody signs so your child sees that you are taking this seriously.

Read more blog posts:

Deeper dive: https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Beyond Sibling Rivalry: How to Mediate Sibling Relationships Complicated by ADHD

Are you tired of the arguments between your kids? Our sibling relationships are often the longest we experience in our lifetime. We all develop many integral skills within these core relationships. With siblings, we learn how to relate others, how to practice social skills and learn to negotiate. We also deal with competition, disappointment, jealousy and fairness. Sibling relationships are integral to our lives and sense of ourselves. For kids who do not have siblings, this structure affects them too. Some may be happy to be single children and others may long for a sibling. As parents, our job is teach our kids how to work things out on their own and when to intervene constructively. In families living with ADHD, sibling relationships can be especially tricky to navigate.

The neurotypical child’s perspective in their sibling relationships

Siblings who identify as neurotypical often experience feelings of “otherness.” They can feel left out while their neurodivergent sibling receives what they perceive as “special care,” attention or favoritism. They might not be given the benefit of the doubt as often as their brother or sister. This fosters resentment towards the parents and the sibling. Neurotypical siblings might also receive harsher responses or more demanding behaviors from parents who may have higher expectations for them. They’re sometimes asked to be patient when they really feel angry or ignored. Often, non-ADHD siblings can struggle with a pattern of negative emotions towards their families which are difficult to reconcile. Kids have shared with me:

- Embarrassment (eg. when their sibling experiences public meltdowns, school struggles, and behavioral issues).
- Frustration (eg. if they have been exhibiting patience with annoying behaviors and have politely asked their brother or sister with ADHD to stop unsuccessfully).
- Guilt (eg. when they are thriving and their sibling with ADHD is clearly struggling; this can even lead to under-performance in some areas to relieve discomfort of their brother or sister).
- Pressure to be the “good kid” (eg. to set an example for the rest of their family and avoid causing their family additional stress).
- Hiding true feelings (eg. denial of any uncomfortable or conflictual issues so they remain “healthier” than the sibling with ADHD, in comparison).

Leveling the playing field to discourage sibling rivalry

As parents, you want to encourage role flexibility in your family. No child should the “good” one nor the “bad” one. If there is more than one child in a household with ADHD, learning disabilities (LD), or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), it can be especially challenging for everyone to thrive because of how issues with attention, learning, or processing information manifest differently between family members. Actively teach your children that we all have strengths and challenges. The goal is creating as level a playing field as possible within the family unit so kids can be both “good” and “bad.” In fact, we all have executive functioning skills that run smoothly and need tweaking. Name what they are for each person, and discuss an approach where each person can work on improving one issue. Emphasize this so your child with ADHD doesn’t feel stuck as the person who needs all of the help in the family. There are ways to help diffuse the tension in sibling relationships and create a stronger family ecosystem.

1. Choose empathy in your approach.

Working through issues with your ADHD child can set a very important example for how the rest of your family works together. Your children are always watching you, so it’s important to practice self-control and figure out what helps you manage yourself better when you are triggered. Take time to look at the big picture, understand every side, and practice compassion. Using humor can help to keep you level-headed and light-hearted. Your other children will follow your lead, and this will set an achievable example for the future.

2. Practice themes of fairness and inclusion.

The world is already designed to make people feel a greater sense of competition. There is no need to overwhelm growing children with more comparison issues. Because children with ADHD often are the focus of more worry and concern, a parent’s extra engagement might stir up feelings of jealousy and comparison.

If you start to notice any extra stress or tension in any child, spending quality alone time with each could help boost their esteem. Fairness doesn’t mean equality but rather feeling listened to and included in the plans you create for the family. Use incentives and reward charts for everyone, but the expectations can differ according to age and ability.

3. Handle disagreements with the same finesse as every day conversations.

Practicing fairness with every child, no matter their neurological capabilities, is essential for fostering healthy sibling relationships. It also reduces any built-up tension or feelings of rage a child could experience at feeling less than. Talk with your partner (or a caring friend) about when to intervene in sibling arguments. Safety is a primary concern, of course, but also avoiding unnecessary escalations and hurtful statements is important. Then discuss with your kids about when you will intervene, when you will warn them to take some space and how they can ask for help when they are stuck with each other. Teach kids to deal with their conflict effectively, model how to negotiate problems, set up a plan for taking space when things escalate and come back later to discuss how to move forward and make amends.

4. Spend quality alone time with each child.

Each of your children benefits from alone time with each parent. Whether it’s a special activity or doing some errands with a Starbucks at the end, the point is to hang out together. My uncle used to schedule one-on-one time with each of my cousins once a month. One of my clients takes her daughter on errands on Saturdays that involve some stuff for the family and some fun time like going to Starbucks or getting ice cream. These types of quality time make a huge difference in nurturing parent-child connections and fostering healthy communication.

Read more blog posts:

Learn more from Dr. Saline in the news:

When ADHD Drains and Strains Sibling Relationships (ADDitude Mag article by Dr. Saline)
Sibling Relationships Complicated by ADHD (ADDitude Mag ADHD Parenting Q&A with Dr. Saline)

Deeper dive: https://drsharonsaline.com/product/managing-technology-families-video/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Returning to School with ADHD: Tips on helping anxious kids transition smoothly

Back to school is normally a time of excitement with a splash of worry thrown in. But this year, with the shift from remote learning to in-person or hybrid instruction, it seems that there’s more worry with just a splash of excitement. For neurodiverse kids who found online learning more helpful in certain ways, this could be even less exciting. Returning to School with ADHD isn’t easy. How can you assist your child or teen with ADHD reduce their back to school worries and make a smooth transition?

Start by discussing and accepting their feelings and your own worries.

Everybody feels uncertain and uncomfortable right now. Change, in the midst of COVID numbers rising again and the confusion about getting vaccinated, make us all feel insecure. How do we reintegrate as a society? Is it safe to gather? What advice do we follow? Following the CDC guidelines seems to differ among various people. You have to follow your own guidelines about what makes you feel safe while understanding that kids need to return to some degree of normalcy.

During the pandemic, we’ve been separated from so many aspects of our typical lives. As parents, you’ve been stressed thin with juggling work, school supervision and the regular demands of family life. In this strange, extended period, kids of all ages, whose social and emotional development highly depends on social interactions, have missed having close peer connections and struggled navigating the complexities of online relationships for more than a year.

Kids with ADHD who’ve been doing hybrid or remote learning have also been able to move around physically, follow impulses and refrain from practicing the emotional regulation that’s required of them in the school building. These adjustments will change once they are in classrooms.

Preparing anxious kids for the returning to school with ADHD not only relies on reviewing the various alterations to the school environment but also practicing necessary social skills, COVID hygiene and academic adjustments. Follow these steps to promote confidence, strategies and resilience in your student.

Tips to help anxious kids transition to returning to school with ADHD and confidence:

1. Manage your own concerns first.

Kids have incredible radar. They easily pick up when their parents are stressed or anxious and it increases their own distress, conscious or unconscious. The first step in decreasing the anxiety your child or teen is feeling is to lower your own.

Take a few minutes and discuss your concerns about returning to school with ADHD, anxiety and COVID concerns with your partner, a friend, extended family member or counselor. Write these down and then strategize responses or to-do action items to each one by creating an “Anxiety Decelerator Plan.”

This ADP will help you feel like you have some control. For instance, if your child needs more support than they received in the spring, one of your action items should be to contact the school adjustment or guidance counselor and set up a meeting.

2. Identify their worries.

We can’t assist kids in turning down the frequency or intensity of their anxiety unless we know what’s causing it. Worried thinking and environmental triggers set children and teens off and then they fall down the rabbit hole. We want to stop this tumble.

During your weekly or twice a week check-in meetings (these are a must), explore what might be uncomfortable or uncertain about in-person/hybrid learning. Write these down. Pick one fear together to address first and when its volume is lower, you can pick another. Remember, people can really only change one thing at a time.

3. Consider past success.

When kids are anxious, they experience amnesia about times in the past when they overcame obstacles. Talk about a situation ortwo from the past when there was a challenge that they dealt with successfully. What happened? What did they rely on inside of themselves to do this? Did anyone assist them? Write down their responses: they are critical pieces of your youngster’s resilience toolkit that they need for bouncing back from anxiety.

Link some of these tools to the worry that you both have agreed to work on. Cue them to use this tool and check in about how it’s going at your meetings. Brainstorm what you can do to assist them that works for both of you (especially for tweens and teens).

4. Avoid reassurance, and rely on acknowledgment instead.

Anxiety loves reassurance. But while reassurance brings about a short-term relief, it increases long-term anxiety because it doesn’t teach kids the skills they need to do this for themselves. What parents need to do is acknowledge the fear and validate their concerns.

Say something like, “Yes, of course you are worried about returning to school. It’s a big adjustment. What did we do when we needed to make a change last year? How can we use those strategies for this transition?” Making these connections for kids fosters their capabilities for self-reassurance and resilience.

5. Create a new normal.

Nothing is the same, and even though we desire our old normal, it’s not here. Welcome and adapt to new rhythms instead of fighting them. Identify available resources that you have now and didn’t before: safe social interactions, outside exercise, educational tutors and better intervention. This shift in your focus will aid your kids with ADHD who naturally wrestle with flexibility pivot more successfully.

Read more blog posts:

Watch on Dr. Saline’s YouTube Channel:

How to Help Your Children Transition Back to School Smoothly (WWLP 22 News Mass Appeal interviews Dr. Saline)
ADHD Students: Tips for Transitioning Back to In-person Learning (ADDitude ADHD Parenting Q&A with Dr. Saline)
Help Your Kid Overcome School Anxiety (Operation Parent Webinar with Dr. Saline)

Deeper Dive: https://drsharonsaline.com/product/online-learning-tips-for-parents-bundle/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Recognizing ADHD in Boys and 4 Ways to Help Them Succeed

We know that ADHD affects both the person who has it and their family. Over six million children and adolescents in the United States have been diagnosed with ADHD. While most ADHD profiles are not gender-specific, there are a few key differences between ADHD in girls and ADHD in boys when it comes to diagnosis and developing routines or treatment.

What is unique about ADHD in boys?

As you wash the dishes, you look out the back window and smile at your kids playing in the dirt. Your young son, Damon, is singing and running in circles with that contagious, boundless energy that makes you smile. Your daughter is writing with chalk on the patio while the sun sets. Later, the kids come inside screaming. It turns out Damon has been “annoying” his sister. He has been having issues sharing their outdoor toys and even damaged one. Your son has been having small, fiery outbursts at his sister. They don’t last very long and he is otherwise a well-behaved kid. While you explain to both of them why sharing is important, you notice his eyes look out the window, his foot starts tapping and then he bends down to playing with his shoelace. Because boys are more likely than girls to be hyperactive, ADHD in boys is often displayed earlier and often. The current ratio of boys to girls with ADHD is 3:1, with some studies suggesting 4:1. Noticing that your son is unusually energetic, impetuous or spacey can lead you down the path towards an accurate diagnosis. Hyperactivity, impulsive behavior, and inattention are all attributed to boys with ADHD. These are also common traits in younger children and preschoolers, who naturally experience difficulty paying attention and following directions. If your child is still in early developmental stages, keep an eye on these behaviors and seek out patterns if there is cause for concern. Regardless of how ADHD manifests itself in your son, there are ways to reduce symptom flare-ups and actively help him succeed. Here are a few tips to help encourage your growth together.

4 Ways to Support Your Neurodiverse Son during Childhood and Adolescence

1. Boot the stereotypes.

“Boys will be boys” though, right? Not so much, actually. Learned behavior and stereotype indicators can lend to biases, conscious or otherwise. Yes, historically, boys are more aggressive. ADHD in boys often shows up as more oppositional than their female counterparts. However, this isn’t the case for every male child or adolescent. All small children start out with open hearts and minds, and some mischief in their eyes. Believing boys are more aggressive or shrugging off any signs of aggressive behavior can both enable negative patterns and drive you further from diagnosing anything behavioral-related. Now is also a good time to address any biases you may have developed on your own over time. Books, peers, and outside sources can really help. But it’s most helpful to make yourself fully aware of the lens through which you are viewing your child.

2. Meet them where they are at.

Aside from unconscious bias, it can often be difficult to approach a child with ADHD during a fallout or in the midst of chaos. It is important – especially in stressful spaces – that you choose mindfulness. Choosing mindfulness in every situation will improve your communication skills with everyone around you, especially a child who may be struggling. This begins with allowing your child space when they need to calm down. If you are mindful of their emotions at the moment, then they will be more open to responding instead of reacting. The ramifications of ADHD in boys can be excruciating. Even early on, they can be excluded because of increased aggression, or the aforementioned gender bias. They may thrive with attention and want to hold the spotlight a bit more than usual, resolving in aggression from other students and children. However, receiving negative feedback in these instances can be earth-shattering for your son, especially early on in development. Just imagining how this much critical feedback will probably increase your stress levels. Approaching them with compassion can do wonders for their self-esteem.

3. Teach effective coping strategies.

Boys with ADHD often struggle with managing their emotions and can misinterpret social situations or miss social cues. Because of this, they are more likely to resort to humor as a way to deflect their issue or cope with discomfort. Peers may find this annoying. And this is just one key example of acting out. As much as – or even more so than – girls, they need to be taught effective coping strategies for managing limited verbal impulse control and emotion dysregulation. One of the biggest things to keep in mind is that boys tend to experience fewer problems in an activity-oriented social world. In these spaces, common traits for ADHD in boys such as risk-taking and aggression can be viewed in a positive manner. Finding them a group hobby, like improvisational theater, a team sport or another extra-curricular will encourage social interaction and help with symptom management. Mindfulness is also a highly effective coping strategy for people with ADHD. Research has largely supported the fact that meditation for mindfulness can expand the brain’s capacity to hold attention. This is absolutely amazing, and something I think all parents can approach at a reasonable pace for both themselves and their children. Starting with just one minute a day of stillness or silence in gratitude is a great place to start. If your child requires a little more interaction with their senses, try playing a tranquil piece of music that calms them. Of course, like girls, they also benefit from direct instruction about organizing, planning, prioritizing, flexibility, and time management.

4. Set goals in line with their ideas.

Building awareness of themselves is key as boys in general mature more slowly than girls. Working together with that awareness can help to empower your ADHD son in navigating his every day. Ask questions that bring focus to how, when, and what more than why. Learning about their likes and dislikes together will help them not only to connect with you but for you to better identify triggers and their ideas of success. Here’s an easy, useful activity for self-discovery. In a quiet moment, explore these questions with your son:

- What type of learner am I?
- What am I good at, and how am I good at it?
- Which tasks are most challenging for me?
- When am I able to focus best?

These questions will help them to start verbalizing their thoughts and examine themselves–building the foundation for the all-important executive functioning skill of self-evaluation. For school-aged children, the following additional questions are often key to identifying study patterns and habits. They can help you set concrete, achievable goals that will not overwhelm your child. (Or you!)

- What helps me pay attention in class?
- What distracts me during homework or other activities?
- When am I planning to do X and how can we assess the time needed for that?

As always, there are many ways to help your son live with more satisfaction and self-confidence. Check out my 5 C’s of ADHD Parenting for more.

Learn more:

The Truth about ADHD in Girls, and 5 Ways You Can Help

Raquel is a bright, creative girl who likes singing, dancing around the house and riding her bike. She is an eighth grade girl with ADHD and mild dyslexia and receives support services at school through her IEP. She can be articulate, warm and funny. Raquel also has also developed a nice group of friends over the past year. Shana can be easily distracted and inflexible about routines. Her room is very disorganized and meals are difficult since she’s particular about her food and doesn’t like to hear other people chew. Bedtime and morning routines often deteriorate into yelling matches if she’s not getting what she wants immediately. In addition, she procrastinates about cleaning her room for months at a time. Life at home with her parents and two older siblings is marked by tension, arguments and disappointment, which nobody likes. For parents of girls with ADHD, can you relate?

Symptoms of ADHD in girls

Although the basic diagnostic criteria for ADHD are the same for all genders, ADHD often looks different for females than it does for males. While you may see signs of physical and verbal impulsivity and hyperactivity in your daughter, you are just as likely to see silliness or spaciness, shyness, daydreaming, perfectionism, anxiety, forgetfulness, emotional dysregulation, trouble making and keeping friends and picking at themselves.

These signs can be overlooked in favor of boys who demonstrate more externalizing symptoms of ADHD and draw more attention from the teacher in class. For every girl who is diagnosed with ADHD, there are three boys with the condition.

How the presentation of ADHD in girls impacts a diagnosis

Girls with ADHD are diagnosed on average up to five years later than boys. Boys are diagnosed more often with hyperactivity/impulsivity, usually exhibiting inappropriate, aggressive or impulsive behaviors. Girls tend to have the inattentive type of ADHD, with more internal traits. This explains why we miss diagnosing ADHD in girls so much of the time. Both boys and girls with ADHD have brains that mature more slowly than neurotypical kids, with a lag of to three years. Higher rates of anxiety and depression often accompany ADHD in girls or may well overshadow or mask it altogether.

Unique challenges for girls with ADHD

While girls with ADHD can pay attention and focus well on things that interest or come easily to them, it’s their difficulties with uninteresting, unpleasant tasks where their ADHD brains struggle. Some deficits may be more obvious than others. Kendra gets to school on time but can’t keep your bedroom organized or meet deadlines for assignment. Zara gets her work done but is distracted so easily that it takes her twice as long as it should.

To make things more difficult, many girls with ADHD or LD will deny their executive functioning challenges and academic issues due to embarrassment or low self-worth.

Ashamed of their difficulties and overwhelmed by frustration or fear about possible negative outcomes, some girls with ADHD will do anything to avoid disappointing friends and family, including themselves. Their challenges with verbal expression, auditory processing or verbal control make it harder for them socially. Girls are often conditioned to believe that they define themselves through their relationships. So when girls with ADHD misread cues or don’t hear what someone is saying because they are distracted or struggle to express themselves, they have a much harder time relating to their peers with the expected verbal connections.

Many girls will suffer silently rather than appear different from friends. Teachers and parents may miss seeing the ADHD that really exists as girls try to fly under the radar. Addressing this shame is a key feature of any therapeutic work for girls with ADHD. Of course, everybody with ADHD has serious executive functioning challenges, but all neurodivergent people have personal strengths.

Here are some ways that you can support girls with ADHD in your life:

1. Manage your own reactivity:

When you are triggered by your daughter, it’s really difficult to show up as the parent you want to be. Figure out the internal signals that you are being set off and create a plan to calm yourself down.

Take a timed break from each other, go to the bathroom or step outside. Your emotional response will simply activate her even further.

In a calm moment, discuss what’s okay to say and do when she’s upset and what isn’t. Ask her to think of a logical consequence for cursing you out or a way that she can make amends for leaving a sink full of dirty dishes.

2. Set up weekly meetings:

To avoid nagging and arguments, sit down together once or twice a week. Assist them to organize their daily and weekly schedules and set up doable routines. Work with their desire for mastery and independence. Offer girls choices and incorporate their ideas for any programs you create. This will increase their buy-in.

3. Determine their executive functioning age:

Kids develop in uneven ways. They are stronger in some areas than others and this patterned development is especially true for both boys and girls with ADHD. If your daughter is 12, she may act 12 in her self-care (hygiene and ability to take care of the cat). But she may be more like a nine year-old in her organizational, planning and focus skills. Talk with her about her strengths and challenges and pick one skill to improve.

4. Make a study plan:

Figure out together where, when and how homework or hybrid school will occur.

If your daughter gets easily overwhelmed or distracted, help her (or ask the school to) break assignments down into smaller, manageable parts.

Teach her about time: what it feels like and how to work within its limits. This doesn’t come naturally to many kids with ADHD.

5. Offer empathy for their struggles:

Overcoming shame and learning how to advocate for herself are the best things you can teach your daughter to do. Perhaps you’ve had to learn these skills, too. What negative things does she say to herself? How can the two of you reframe these criticisms into something more positive? What tools does she need to talk honestly and non-judgmentally about her executive functioning challenges so she can get the accommodations and support she needs?

Recall times she’s faced her fears or her embarrassment before, and write down these moments of resilience. Hang it up in her room so she can look at the list. It’s too easy to forget the wins!

Read more blog posts:

Moms with ADHD: Nurturing your power of authenticity
Recognizing ADHD in Boys and 4 Ways to Help Them Succeed
Gender, Sexuality and ADHD: Parenting Children and Youth with ADHD Exploring Their Gender and Sexual Identity

Watch on Dr. Saline’s YouTube Channel:

How Do I Support My Daughter with ADHD? (ADHD Q&A with Dr. Sharon Saline)
Moms with ADHD: Why YOU Are the Best Mother for Your Child (ADHD Q&A with Dr. Sharon Saline)
How to Deal with & Educate ADHD Doubters (ADHD Q&A with Dr. Sharon Saline)

https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

5 Tips to Uplevel Your Spring Cleaning and Decluttering

As the spring air settles in, the daylight hours get longer, and our positivity shifts. But that glistening sunshine may cast a harsh light on the parts of your home and your life that need a good reset after this COVID year. Spring cleaning and decluttering can ignite fresh ideas and increase productivity. Both cleaning and the resulting tidiness and spaciousness can help reduce stress and anxiety. This is a great time to get your house and your mental health in check as we transition back to ‘normal’. You’ll help yourself and your Neurodiverse kids to create an optimal ecosystem so the re-entry back to school feels organized and fresh. Follow these steps in our Spring Spankin’ Clean Checklist to get started and map out your plan of action.

1. Strategize your spring cleaning and decluttering.

Instead of stressing about devoting an entire day or weekend to spring cleaning, take a different approach. It will probably be more productive for you to tackle different aspects of decluttering and cleaning in phases. Dedicate short windows of time to particular areas of your house, so the task feels less overwhelming. If trying to clean the kitchen, the office and living room in one day sounds like too (it does to me!), pick one room to approach. Make a list of what you want to do, how much overall time you want to spend in that room and how your kids can assist you. Give them tasks that are age appropriate and fit their capabilities. Pick different days for projects too. Maybe spend 20 minutes vacuuming your rugs on Saturday, 30 minutes going through your dresser drawers on Sunday, and so on. This will make everything feel more manageable, especially when you have your munchkins helping you out.

2. Start with cleaning the space that inspires you and your kids.

What parts of disarray in the house bother you the most? What bothers them? If it happens to be your desk or their workspace, start to declutter there. If your kids’ imagination is sparked in the playroom or their rooms, head there. Your family thrives together in the kitchen? Optimize that space first. Together, collaborate on a plan of attack. What are you going to do first? What’s after that? You’re not just tidying up: you’re actually teaching them executive functioning skills like planning, prioritizing and organization along the way. Emphasize teamwork. How you approach this process and how you manage your frustration will set the tone for your decluttering process. Take short breaks to reset, have a drink or use the bathroom and then a longer break when you’ve completed a chunk of work.

3. Set donation goals.

It can be easy to forget that we don’t need every item in our homes… until spring cleaning comes around. I approach spring cleaning every year with a goal of donating items that I haven’t worn or used in several years and don’t think I will in the future.

Some of these items may be in bad shape and will head to the trash. But other things could interest or help other people. Create a few bags or boxes: keep, trash, donate. Assign or place items in these categories. By the end of my cleaning project, I may have a dozen things to sell at the consignment store or drop by the local donation thrift shop. Set goals like this with your kids too. They will have outgrown certain clothes or games and sharing them with others can give them a sense of purpose. It can be hard for some neurodivergent kids to let go of their stuff. If that’s true in your house, create a maybe bag as a transitional holding place. Then, you can revisit it in two weeks. Working together like this shows them know how to contribute to the household and to those less fortunate. Remember to use small incentives (like a new book or extra screen or outdoor time) to motivate them and keep them focused on the goal.

4. Organize your kids with Self-Smart Systems.

Start your organizing projects with your kids by asking them some questions. Instead of, “Why are your clothes always on the floor?” try, “I notice your clothes seems to end up on the floor. What might change that?” Kids with ADHD often have their own ideas about what makes sense to their brains in terms of managing their stuff. Some like to separate their clothes by color; others by function (tops, bottoms, etc.); others by seasons. Work with your child’s internal systems by expressing curiosity. “I wonder what would make it easier for you to see what’s in your drawers” or, “Let’s put the things you’re not really wearing in a plastic box and revisit this in a few months.” Ask, listen, participate and guide. When you do this, you become your child’s cleaning ally instead of their adversary.

5. Consider storing winter or other seasonal items.

Blankets, coats, gloves, hats, bathing suits, flip flops, beach toys. You don’t need access to all of these things all year long. Decide what you will need and use and then put away the other stuff. For people living in cooler climates, may winter items can be bulky and take up lots of space. When there’s fewer items in the environment, it’s easier for kids with ADHD (and their parents) to see their options and use their stuff. To deal with unnecessary items, consider vacuum sealing. First, your son or daughter will think it’s the coolest thing ever and probably will help you. Who doesn’t want to see stuff shrink? These packages will take up less space so that your closets look and feel more streamlined. Another option is using plastic storage bins. I love these! Label the boxes and put them out of sight. When winter returns next year, you’ll be able to see and locate everybody’s stuff more quickly. Of course, if you find items that are outgrown or used very little this winter, pass them along to others! Spring cleaning and decluttering can refresh the mind, body, and spirit. Set aside specific times on the family calendar to tidy up. Whatever steps your family takes now, you’ll reap the benefits that much sooner!

Read more blog posts:

Handouts, videos & more in Dr. Saline’s Store: https://drsharonsaline.com/product/motivation/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/

Raising Teens with ADHD: Redefining what ‘success’ means

Let’s face it, raising teens today is challenging. With 24/7 access to screens, peers and entertainment, it’s tough to set boundaries, especially during a pandemic. Regardless of their words, actions or attitudes, most teens dislike family conflict as much as their parents do. Parenting “a successful teen” means working together on creating expectations, goals and strategies that foster connected independence. Everybody has a different definition of “success.” What’s important for parents raising teens with ADHD to do is to meet them where they are–not where you think they should be. This embodies a strong, parent-child connection that sets the stage for successfully addressing any issues. While there is a lot of emphasis on getting good grades, admissions to schools and colleges and awards for extracurricular activities as demonstrating ‘success’ for teens with and without ADHD, I believe that true ‘success’ for teens depends more on building lifelong tools for resilience and self-worth. When neurodiverse teens are able to tolerate and recover from disappointments, see mishaps as learning opportunities instead of failures, and believe that they have personal value regardless of their accomplishments, then they can be successful.

Parents can cultivate these aspects of ‘success’ by doing two main things:

First, offer encouragement and validation of your child’s efforts as much as their achievements. Secondly, nurture positive connections in your parent-teen relationship. This connection fosters self-esteem and self-confidence. When teens with ADHD feel like their parents believe in them, value their opinions and listen to what they have to say, they are more likely to feel better about themselves. In addition, they are more likely to bounce back from obstacles and believe in their own capabilities. This is what ‘success’ looks like in an adolescent.

Here are some tips for parents to raise “successful teens” with ADHD.

Practice compassion for yourself and them.

Everybody is doing the best they can with whatever tools and resources they have available at a given moment. The push-pull of this stage of development is confusing and challenging for all of you. When kids are acting out, they lack adequate coping skills for whatever situation they’re facing. Try to recall what your adolescence was like: the awkwardness, the peer pressure and the insecurity. This empathy makes a huge difference. Be kind to yourself and patient with them as you navigate this territory.

Offer less advice and collaborate on goals.

Teens want to feel listened to more than they want you to solve their problems. Use reflective listening so they feel heard and validated. Repeat what you hear them say before giving advice or telling what to do. Work together on establishing goals for school, chores and self-care. When kids with ADHD participate in setting up expectations with their parents, they are far more likely to buy into whatever plan is created.

Create consistent routines that build executive functioning skills:

Aim for steadiness, not perfection. When it comes to raising teens with ADHD, you want to teach them tools for organization, planning, prioritizing, time management, initiation and self-care. Routines foster these skills. Use incentives instead of punishments to enhance motivation and connect the have-to’s to the want-to’s such as extra screen time, driving lessons with you and going out.

Set screen limits.

Assist your son or daughter in making gaming, social media and surfing the net a part of a balanced life not the main attraction. They can’t do this themselves. Create screen free family times such as meals, walks or games where you can be with each other and have fun. Remember that, despite what your teens tell you, screen time is a privilege, not something they are entitled to.

Encourage efforts, not just accomplishments.

Paying attention to the process of working on tasks, and not just their completion, encourages teens to keep trying and stick with goals. Underneath whatever bluster they present, teens with ADHD want to feel like what they do matters and is acknowledged by their parents. Little positive comments go a long way.

Learn more in Dr. Saline’s store:

https://drsharonsaline.com/product/live-adhd-webinar-beyond-high-school-graduation-how-to-help-neurodivergent-teens-prepare-for-their-next-chapter/ https://drsharonsaline.com/product/home-seminar/