Your Guide for Calmer, Fun Holiday Vacation

Aah, the thrill of family vacations! Everyone piles in the car, bus or plane for a fun-filled week of togetherness and Hollywood happily-ever after endings, right? Maybe not. Too often, these trips are fraught with struggles that you’d like to avoid but don’t know how. Collaboration and consistency the keys for a ‘no-drama’ holiday week. When you work with your kids to include their ideas for the travel experience and the vacation activities, they more eagerly buy into the holiday plans and help you make them a success. When you stick with your agreements and follow through on them, they’ll feel more secure and cooperate to make the trip run more smoothly. Here are some sure-fire tips for a great holiday week: 

  • Before your start the trip, meet together as a family and review the itinerary. Kids with ADHD like to know what’s coming down the pike because it helps them prepare for transitions and adjust their expectations. Go over the scheduled activities, talk about any possibilities and make a list of what people would like to do. Discuss the difference between “have-to” events and “want to” options. Add one desired activity from each person to the vacation plan.
  • Consider your child’s capacity for self-entertainment while you’re in transit. Be realistic about what your child or teen can actually tolerate in terms of travel. Budget enough bathroom and body breaks. Create a do-able list  of acceptable games and activities. Bring the supplies you need and throw in a few surprises to keep your kids on their toes. If you are using technology as entertainment, I encourage you to save it for the later part of the trip when the other activities have lost their appeal. 

  • Create a strategy (in advance) of issues and behavior that trigger folks so you are prepared if they happen. By planning for these potential upsets, you can rely on similar past incidents to give you strategies for responding more effectively if they occur on this trip.  This way, you’ll have the tools you need to deal with such challenges successfully. Make sure you also talk with your family about how you can slow things down when temperatures rise and tempers start flaring. 
  • Decide how much technology your kids can have, when and where. Clearly explain the limits around technology before you leave. If you want to use technology for rewards or relaxation time, make sure you outline the conditions when these will occur. If you decide to give them bonus screen time, name it as such and talk about why. It’s no fun to spend your vacation negotiating tech time so set the boundaries before you go. 
  • Stay positive. A sense of humor is your best traveling companion on family trips. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If your son is fresh to you, say “Fresh is for vegetables not car rides.” If your kids are yelling at each other and you can’t hear yourself think, put on one of your favorite tunes, roll down the window and sing out loud. They’ll be distracted and complain about the cold. Try to see the silver lining. A bad traffic jam may be the perfect time to break out the secret snack and delight everyone.

May you travel safely, have fun with family and friends and enjoy the warmth of this holiday season!

22 News Mass Appeal: Tips to help your kids avoid getting overwhelmed during the holidays

Our brains can only process so much information at one time and it’s especially hard for kids with or without ADHD to manage themselves with holiday activities. In fact, it’s often tough for adults who have their own triggers and family issues to deal with. How can families cope effectively? Clinical psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline shares some tips for families.

ADHD Families’ Guide to Holiday Joy

Stress, stress, stress! The calendar images of December should be a scene of a crazy person running through the mall instead of the winter tranquil scene, right?! Do you have a long list of gifts to buy and wait until the last minute to do your shopping? Do you schedule back-to-back social plans and celebrate with gusto? Do you dislike the holidays altogether and prefer to hide in bed under the covers until January? If you have ADHD, this frantic pace can create overwhelm you and your family. STOP! Create an experience that is fun, rewarding and calmer for you, your family and your ADHD child or teen. Start with a mindset of “SIMPLIFY, not COMPLEX-IFY”. Holiday overwhelm comes from two main sources:

  • leaving things until the last minute
  • trying to do too much.

Let’s face it—everything takes longer than we think it does. If you start planning your tasks with that mentality and give yourself more time to do things, the process will go more smoothly. Last-minute planning suggestions:

  1. Make a master list – then break it down into shorter ones, with no more than 3-4 different places in one outing. Map out where you need to go and group places together than are near each other. Teach your ADHD kids to do this too by explaining what, why and how you are doing things when you go out together to run errands.
  1. Schedule breaks – hot chocolate or tea can break up the trip.
  2. Cross things off your lists – do this yourself or ask your kids to assist you. It’s easier to see your accomplishments this way.

“Squeeze it all in” suggestions:

  1. Discuss the calendar with your family – Sit down with your family and decide how many things in a day people really can handle during the holiday season.
  2. Figure out what constitutes “down time” – be sure to include something that is settling rather than stimulating. Limit individual technology use and encourage quiet activities including playing games, reading, listening to music, or watching a family movie. Write down these ideas and post them on the refrigerator so people can refer to them when they are most needed.

Do you have other suggestions? Please share them with me. Good luck and Happy Holidays to All!