Overcoming Distractions Podcast: EP 54 – Do You Grow Out of ADHD? Is It a Myth?

Back this week for another podcast is Dr. Sharon Saline to discuss the topic of whether people grow out of ADHD. It is another one of those common discussions in the world of ADHD and a topic that many have different views on. Dr Saline is the author of the book What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew and in private practice in Western Massachusetts. Dave and Dr. Saline first discuss her book and that fact that there are many parts of the book that resonate with both children and adults with ADHD and there are valuable lessons to be taken away from her book. Click logo below to read more and listen.

Get Published Podcast: Dr. Sharon Saline – Hiring a Marketing Specialist in Your Niche

In episode 489 of the Get Published Podcast, Host and 15-Time Bestselling Author Paul G. Brodie interviews Dr. Sharon Saline about her author journey and the importance of hiring a marketing specialist in your niche to help you launch your book successfully. Learn more here. Find out more about how we can help you Share Your Story at www.GetPublishedPodcast.com Click logo below to listen.

Prioritize it! Teaching kids the difference between NOW and LATER

Do you ever wonder why your child or teen with ADHD can’t figure what to do when? They may be capable of listing things they need to accomplish but then they struggle to order these items. Soon, they feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Unsure how to decide what’s critical, they shut down and avoid starting anything. Planning and prioritizing are key executive functioning skills, intimately related to organization, time management, initiation motivation and goal-directed persistence. They need to be taught directly to kids with ADHD and require a lot of adult patience. They also rely heavily on two of the 5 C’s of successful ADHD parenting: Collaboration and Consistency. You’ve got to work with your son or daughter to create a strategy for doing tasks with an order and a method that makes sense to their unique brains. With routines and repetition, these tools eventually become second-nature to them. In order for kids to learn how to plan and prioritize, they have to understand the difference between urgent and important. Something urgent is time-related and has to be dealt with immediately. There’s a deadline, a limit or an impending crisis such as preparing for a test tomorrow, writing a paper that’s due tomorrow or finishing your taxes on April 15th at 11:58 pm. Something important is value-driven. It matters but there is less pressure around it: the “right-away factor” is missing. Things like extra-credit projects, practicing the piano or exercising fall into this category. When a task is both urgent and important, it has to get done NOW. This is where we begin to help kids with ADHD: they’ve got to figure out how to do this since it’s just not clear to them. With their NOW/NOT NOW brains, it’s all or nothing. Many kids tell me that they can’t start anything without the fire of a deadline underneath and then they are incredibly stressed and anxious. While they may push back against any support you are offering, they, like you, want to argue less and feel proud of themselves. These are your motivators. Armed with a paper calendar, markers, pens and Post-It notes, make a time to sit down with your son or daughter for no more than 20 minutes. Follow these steps to teach planning and prioritizing:

  1. Show your child or teen how to do a brain dump: Make a list of everything that needs to get done. Whether it’s cleaning their room or different homework assignments, getting these tasks out of their heads onto a piece of paper reduces the stress of trying to remember it and carry it all around inside. You can use your computer or iPad to create the list as long as you print it out afterwards.
  2. Help them understand the difference between urgent and important:  Discuss what type of organizing system makes sense to them. Is it color coding, numbers or letters?  Next, based on deadlines, order the items that you’ve written down together. Which items move to the top of the list and why? Some kids do better with separate lists of only one or two things to reduce overwhelm. Consider if this strategy would help your son or daughter.
  3. Talk about when and how long: Attach due dates to the items you’ve written down. Then, estimate approximately how long each one would take and write that next to the task. Ask your child or teen how they like to approach work. Do they like to start with something easy, feel a sense of accomplishment and move onto to a harder task? Or, do they prefer to get the hard stuff out of the way and then do the easy things–the stuff they enjoy. Connect the tasks to their preferred order of working.
  4. Put the items into a sequence: Now you are ready to order the items on the list, start with urgent tasks followed by the important ones, if you can get to these. Some kids aren’t ready to move beyond doing what’s urgent. That’s okay. Help them create tools for the urgent stuff now. Later, with more practice and maturity, they can move onto incorporating important things that have less pressure. Show them how to work backwards from deadlines and put the steps on the calendar.
  5. Break things down: Remember that procrastination, discouragement and frustration are signs that the task is too big for your child or teen to being. Make the tasks smaller and the steps more simple.
  6. Incorporate breaks: Make sure to incorporate times for body and brain breaks. Use Post-it notes to remind them what they were doing so they can ease back into it.

When you discuss how to order and evaluate tasks, teach planning strategies and work together to use calendars with steps for getting things done, you show your child with ADHD how to plan and prioritize with Collaboration and Consistency.  

Rewire: Don’t Google Your Symptoms – Why We Get Medical Anxiety

I woke up in the middle of the night with pain in my chest. I rolled over and grabbed my phone, googling my symptoms. It didn’t look good. “Think you’re having a heart attack? Call 911 immediately,” Google advised me. “Chest pain has many causes — most of them are serious,” read a Web MD page. Was it coronary artery disease? Myocarditis? Mitral valve prolapse? Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy? Or maybe it was my lungs? My liver? Pneumonia? Undiagnosed asthma? A broken rib? Shingles? Spoiler alert: I wasn’t dying, and it wasn’t a heart attack, or any of those serious conditions. Not even close. Click logo below to read more.

22 News Mass Appeal: Increase the Love at Home with Compassion

Parenting is hard no matter what your child’s age. And arguing with them is frustrating because you want them to understand things that they may not yet be mature enough to grasp. Dr. Sharon Saline, Clinical Psychologist, is in the studio to share thoughts and ideas on how to create a more stress free home life. Click logo below to read more.

Why did you post THAT? Smart Screen Parenting for Kids with ADHD

It’s the question I hear from almost every parent I meet: How do I make sure my son or daughter is using technology appropriately? Research has shown that managing technology in families is the greatest sources of arguments in the home according to both kids and parents. Many parents forget that screen time is a privilege–not a right, although most kids and especially teens will tell you differently. To create a health media diet in your family, start by looking at your values and your goals related to technology. Consider how and when you use your phone. Ask yourself “What role do I want the phone or computer to play in my daughter’s life? What are the conditions and expectations I’ve already set up about using the computer? What does it mean to use devices safely and how can I teach these skills?” These reflections are the first step in smart screen parenting. 

Families meet problems with technology because they haven’t set up clear terms and/or contracts about using screens from the beginning. It’s never too late to have honest, forthright conversations about how to use phones and computers (including texting, apps and email  appropriately) and what safety looks like. Have you discussed digital footprints and the longevity of online activity? College admission counselors, coaches and future employers can look up your history and see what you’ve said and to whom. Kids with ADHD lack of cause and effect thinking. They struggle with impulse control and self-regulation. They often believe that consequences just won’t happen to them. It’s especially hard to stop themselves from texting or posting something inappropriate if other kids are doing it too.

Discuss how to make good choices about appropriate material to post and which sites to visit. If you wouldn’t say to someone’s face, then don’t send it online. Follow the WWGS rule: “What would Grandma say?” If you don’t want your Grandma to read something, should you really post it? Expect your son or daughter to treat others with respect, and to never post hurtful or embarrassing messages. Encourage them to think twice before hitting ‘Enter.’ Being mean isn’t okay at any time. Of course, ask them to always tell you about any harassing or bullying messages that others post.

We are responsible for teaching kids how to be a digital citizens just like we are teaching them to be a member of our communities. All families, especially those with ADHD, need guidelines about living successfully with technology–guidelines that are enforced consistently. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel: websites like http://www.commonsensemedia.org offer great sample contracts and other ideas for how family’s can establish plans about technology. Here are my suggestions to help you practice cyber safety and teach NET-etiquette:

  1.  Get informed about digital media and technology so you are not acting out of fear or ignorance. Nobody wants to be a watchdog. Remind kids that what they post can be used against them. For example, letting the world know that you’re off on vacation or posting your home address gives would-be robbers a chance to strike.  Teens should also avoid posting specific locations of parties or events. If you don’t know know people or people who know them, don’t friend those folks.
  2. Go through privacy settings together to make sure your kids understand each one. Also, explain that passwords are there to protect them against things like identity theft. They should never share them.
  3. Live in a household with trust that goes both ways. Remember that your kids can go online and get all kinds of information that would often be better learned from you. We want kids to turn to us when they struggle with making good choices about where to go and what to do with friends. Tracking locations or reading their texts shows them that you don’t trust them or the decisions they are making.  Unless you learn that your child or teen has been lying to you about where they are going, what they are doing or texting or posting inappropriate material, stick with direct conversations with them about their activities and friends.
  4. After you get home from work, plan to spend the first hour reconnecting with your family. Limit your screen use to times when your kids are absent, asleep or occupied with friends or their own screen time.
  5. Stay connected with the parents of their friends so you can know what’s going on with your son or daughter and the kids around you. This helped me tremendously when my children were teens. Several parents agreed that we would support each other as our kids became more independent. We didn’t hesitate to call or text folks about social or school issues. The kids knew that we talked with each other and professed to disliking it but they also knew that they couldn’t stray too far because someone would see it and then share it.

Attention Talk Video : ADHD Tips – Managing Screen Time

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is an issue of self-regulation. Some struggle more than others in managing self-regulation, particularly around screen time. In this episode of Attention Talk Video, ADHD coach Jeff Copper (www.digcoaching.com) interviews Dr. Sharon Saline (www.drsharonsaline.com) around behavioral approaches and structures to manage your screen time. If you struggle or want tips that help, check out our interview. Click logo below to read more.