Summer Vacations with ADHD: 5 Beat The Heat Tips for Families

Dog in car for vacation or beachAah, the thrill of family vacations! Everyone piles in the car, bus or plane for a fun-filled week of togetherness and Hollywood happily-ever after endings, right? Family vacations often start with high hopes. Everyone imagines bubbly laughter, good food and happy connections. You are excited and so are your kids. Usually, things work out as you had hoped: people get along well and have a good time. Sometimes things don’t work out as much as you would have liked. Arguments, tantrums, logistical difficulties bring everyone down. What are the ingredients for a successful family vacation with ADHD on the journey? Read a few of my helpful tips below. 

How to use the 5C’s to enhance family vacations

self-Control | Compassion | Collaboration | Consistency | Celebration African-American family looking at the computer.Use the 5C’s as the foundation for a ‘no-drama’ family experience–whether it’s a staycation, a road trip or a plane flight. Manage your reactivity by noticing when you are getting triggered and then taking a short break to re-center. Offer yourself and your kids compassion in a heated moment, remembering that anger, tears and frustration are signs of overwhelm and insufficient personal coping tools. Collaborate by working with your kids to include their ideas for the vacation activities. When they have buy-in on plans, they more eagerly participate in making them a success. Set consistency as a goal instead of perfection. As you stick with your agreements and follow through on them, everybody feels more engaged and enthusiastic about cooperating to make things run smoothly. Last, but definitely not least, kick back, enjoy and celebrate being together. 

5 heat tips for happier family vacations with ADHD kids or adults

1. Before your start the trip, meet together as a family and review the itinerary.

Family headed to the beach togetherKids with ADHD like to know what’s coming down the pike because it helps them prepare for transitions and adjust their expectations.                                          Also, go over the scheduled activities, talk about any possibilities and make a list of what people would like to do. Discuss the difference between “have-to” events and “want to” options. Add one desired activity from each person to the vacation plan.

2. Consider your child’s capacity for self-entertainment while you’re in transit.

Be realistic about what your child or teen with ADHD can actually tolerate in terms of travel. Budget enough bathroom and body breaks. Create a do-able list  of acceptable games and activities. While on vacation with ADHD kids, it helps to throw in a few surprises to keep them on their toes, along with the essentials you need to bring. Also, try to save technology for the latter part of the trip when the other activities have lost their appeal.           

3. Decide how much technology your kids can have, when and where. 

Clearly explain the limits around technology before you leave. If you want to use technology for rewards or relaxation time, make sure you outline the conditions when these will occur. If you decide to give them bonus screen time, name it as such and talk about why. It’s no fun to spend your vacation negotiating tech time so set the boundaries before you go.

4. Create a strategy (in advance) of issues and behavior that trigger folks so you are prepared if they happen.                               

By planning for these potential upsets, you can rely on similar past incidents to give you strategies for responding more effectively if they occur on this trip. Together, think about what’s worked in the past and what hasn’t. Brainstorm the tools you’ll need to deal with such challenges successfully if they occur this summer. Create and agree on specific ways to slow things down when temperatures rise and tempers start flaring. In addition, a sense of humor is your best traveling companion while on vacations with ADHD kids and adults. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If your son is fresh to you, say “Fresh is for vegetables not car rides.” If your kids are yelling at each other and you can’t hear yourself think, put on one of your favorite tunes, roll down the window and sing out loud. They’ll be distracted and complain about the cold.

5. Stay positive.                                                                                               

Try to see the silver lining. A bad traffic jam may be the perfect time to break out the secret snack and delight everyone. Remember, kick-back, enjoy and celebrate being together!

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YourTango: 8 Simple Ways To Make Your College Kid’s Transition Home Easier — On Everyone

“As another school year is winding down, many of us have welcomed our sons and daughters home from college. Whether your college kid’s home for just the summer or they are moving back in after graduating, everyone in the household will need to make adjustments. Previously established family routines may require some tweaks or even a full overhaul. Your teen may be living under your roof again, but you need to treat them like the young adult they are, not the child they were. The line between where parental authority ends and your teen’s autonomy begins has shifted, creating tension as your household is figuring out how to live together once again. So how should you reengage with your teen with a healthy dose of parental authority while still respecting their developing independence? You can release some of this tension by applying a number of tried-and-true approaches.”

Read the article featured on YourTango!

“8 Simple Ways To Make Your College Kid’s Transition Home Easier — On Everyone”


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The Peaceful Parenting Podcast – Episode 55: One Year Anniversary: My Fave Experts Give Advice To Their Younger Parent Selves

“In this very special episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I have compiled a list of advice former podcast guests have shared about what they would say to their younger parent selves.” I know you will find this episode so inspiring. I’ve created a cheat sheet that you can download for free with all of my guests’ expert advice for you to reference. You can get it here: www.sarahrosensweet.com/guestexpertadvice.” Click here to listen to the episode!

Smoother Conversations with ADHD: Tips for managing attention, memory, impulsivity and anxiety while socializing

Two adult women meeting at a cafe, smiling and having a conversation.Conversations can be tough for folks with ADHD, ASD or LD. It can be difficult to track the conversation flow and stay focused on a subject. You might talk about a topic that seems relevant and related to you but tangential to others. Then, there’s the volume and tone of your voice, reading facial expressions, and difficulty gauging physical proximity. Often times, neurodivergent teens and adults are overly critical of what they are or aren’t doing. You might think you should be worrying about what someone else is thinking about you, rather than being present with what’s going on. Engaging in conversations with ADHD involves coping with multiple ADHD-related challenges while socializing, which isn’t easy for anyone. How can conversations flow easier? Here are tips and tools to help.

Why people with ADHD interrupt conversations more frequently

Interruptions for people with ADHD frequently reflect weaker verbal impulse control, but also issues with working memory and metacognition. You may not remember to wait your turn because you don’t trust yourself to remember what you want to say later–when there’s a pause in the conversation or the other person has finished talking. This reflects a fear of forgetting. An adult professional standing in front of a wall with chalk drawing on it of speech bubbles that say "blah blah" in them.Maybe you are unaware that you are interrupting until someone lets you know. Sometimes people interrupt because they feel a need to prove themselves and establish their expertise. Or, you may really want to engage in this conversation but can’t find a way in, so you interrupt. After all, you’re very excited about this topic and eager to discuss it. At other times, you may be bored and want to change the subject by interrupting. The urge to interrupt is also affected by anxiety. The more anxious you feel in a social situation, the higher likelihood that you will interrupt. Anxiety will exacerbate any nervousness or worries about acceptance, performance and embarrassment. When you are flooded with these intense feelings, you can be naturally more impulsive as a protective measure. In addition, you can be less capable of monitoring your words and actions.

How interrupting impacts connections

Take a moment and reflect on how you feel when someone interrupts you. It seems like they aren’t listening, but rather waiting for their turn to talk. The interrupter is demonstrating that their thoughts are more important than yours. How does that make you feel? Angry, unimportant, dismissed, unseen? Even though interrupting may demonstrate a lack of effective impulse control on your part, other people may not understand this. They may become irritated or impatient, and they probably feel just like you do when you’re interrupted.

Sidetracking conversations with ADHD

A woman holding her fingers over her ears with her eyes closed, and a bunch of graphic little doodles and drawings show around her head like she's busy in thought and creativity.Many people with ADHD go on tangents when they are telling a story or sharing what’s on their mind. This is an understandable part of having many ideas simultaneously. For example, one of my clients recited aloud for me what he was thinking, and it was a nonstop train of observations, interpretations, ideas and curiosity. Do you think your brain does this too? These many ideas lead to sidetracking in conversations. For instance, you may go off track and may not realize that you are too far down a road that goes nowhere until someone tells you. People start looking away or confront you directly, sometimes not so nicely. All too often, neurodivergent kids and adults become defensive. They feel angry and ashamed at the same time. These feelings can make things worse socially and contribute to exclusion or humiliation. Let’s look at some strategies for reducing interruptions.

5 tips for interrupting less with ADHD

1. Write things down:

Use your phone or a small pad of paper that you keep with you to jot down a few key words that will cue you to recall what it is that you want to say. Whether you are in a meeting or hanging out with friends, let other folks know that you don’t want to interrupt so taking some notes while others are talking helps you remember your thoughts better. This prepares them in case you choose to do this and wards off judgment.

2. Be candid:

If you don’t want to write things down, say, “I have something to share but I don’t want to interrupt you. I’m just afraid that I will forget it.” This warns people of why you are interrupting. You will have to monitor how many times you do this though. Depending on who you’re speaking with, more than a few times in a conversation might be too much. If you do happen to forget something, don’t worry. It will probably come back to you later, and you can text or email them when it does.

3. Watch out for overwhelm:

A woman looking annoyed at another woman at work who keeps talkingIndoor parties, gatherings at a park or beach or eating dinner at a busy restaurant, all of these environments can be extra distracting. It will be harder for you to track what’s being said by whom and staying with the conversation. If you can’t hear or focus on what someone is telling you, ask if you can move somewhere else or step away from the noise for a few moments. 

4. Listen and ask questions:

People like to talk about themselves, and they also like to feel heard. Use reflective listening techniques (“I heard you say X, tell me more about that.”) or (“That sounds interesting. Can you describe/explain it further?”)

5. Use the “WAIT-Now” method:

The “WAIT-Now” method involves periodically asking yourself, “Why am I talking now?” Remember that a pause in a sentence doesn’t mean the person is finished speaking. If you are unsure, wait 10 seconds, and then ask if they’re done before you start speaking.

4 tips for helping conversations flow smoothly with ADHD:

Now that you know how to manage your interruptions, let’s look at some strategies for participating in conversations more effectively with ADHD, ASD or LD:

1. Consider personal space, volume and body language:

Think about the physical proximity of those engaged in the conversation. In the United States, it’s common for people to stand about three feet apart. You also want to consider hand gestures and touching others. Some people are very uncomfortable with being touched casually during an exchange. Initially, keep your hands and body parts to yourself. Later, if you want, you can share that you talk a lot with your hands and ask if a tap on their arm or shoulder would be okay. top view of a group gathered outside at a party having a conversation Check out the volume and tone of the conversation. How are people speaking? Are you speaking louder or quieter than the people around you? Can you hear yourself? Do you have a buddy who can signal you if you’re too loud or too soft? Observe body language and facial expressions of the folks around you. Interest and engagement look open and calm (relaxed posture, eye contact, leaning forward). Judgment and discomfort look more closed (crossed arms and legs, looking away). What are their faces and bodies showing you about their response to what you are saying?

2. Reflect on your behavior in conversations:

Find acceptable alternatives to eye contact if that’s uncomfortable for you. Perhaps engage in an activity during a conversation so people aren’t looking right at you: walking, bicycling, shopping, going to baseball game or visiting a museum. Pause and observe before you enter a room. Get a sense of what’s going on instead of jumping right in by asking “what’s going on?” or interrupting to say something.

3. Make a plan for when you get distracted, space out or start interrupting:

If you lose focus when someone is talking, watch their mouth or hand gestures to follow along. Ask open-ended questions that begin with how and what more than why. How will you get back into the conversation? Could anyone assist you? Likewise, ask a friend or family member to help you with interrupting. Maybe collaborate on a signal that communicates if you’ve wandered too far off topic or have been talking too long.

4. Learn to feel awkward without judgment:

Everybody has insecurities whether they show them or not. You might be uncertain about something, worried about how you compare to others, or worried about how other people perceive you. But it doesn’t mean you should stop making social connections or engaging in conversations. Instead, armed with the tools and strategies described here, you can feel more confident and courageous in meeting new people and making lasting friendships.


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Artı Enstitü: DEHB ve Üretken Erteleme (ADHD and Productive Procrastination)

“Gecikme nasıl durdurulur? Erteleme davranışı, bir şeylere başlamayı ve bitirmeyi doğal olarak zorlaştıran bir durum olarak DEHB’li bireyleri zayıf düşürebilir. Erteleme davranışı gösteren bireylerin çoğu nadiren zamanlarını hiçbir şey yapmadan harcarlar. Bunun yerine, daha karmaşık, daha zor işlerden ziyade daha kolay görevlere odaklanırlar. Bu “üretken ertelemeyi” azaltmak, öz-düzenleme, organizasyon ve önceliklendirmeyi geliştirmeye dayanır. Gerçekte başarabileceğiniz şeyleri yapamayacağınızı söyleyen olumsuz iç konuşmayı sınırlamak, sizi Bilinçlendirmeye yönlendirecektir.”

Read the full article published by Artı Enstitü (Turkish)

“DEHB ve Üretken Erteleme” (ADHD and Productive Procrastination)

Çeviren: Psikolojik Danışman Oğuzhan Karaboğa (Translated by: Psychological Counselor Oğuzhan Karaboğa) NOTE: This is a translation of the original article “ADHD and Productive Procrastination” published in English on PsychologyToday.com.

Intrepid Ed News – Raising Successful Teens

“When my daughter was in ninth grade, she had very little interest in engaging with me. Sure, she was happy to start a conversation about getting her nose pierced but if I wanted to check in about anything related to school or the tennis team, forget it. She wanted to determine what the parameters were for her life: how to manage social issues, keep up with academics, and what extracurricular activities she did or didn’t do. Frankly, it was hard for me to let things go because raising teens today is challenging. With 24/7 access to screens, peers, and entertainment, it’s tough to know if they are making responsible choices, engaging wisely in activities, and staying on top of homework. For me, being responsive instead of being reactive was, and still can be, my greatest challenge. But I have to realize where my guidance ends and where her decisions about her life begin. This is the complicated dance of raising teens. You are responsible for their health, safety, and welfare and they often want more autonomy than they are actually ready for.”

Read the full article!

“Raising Successful Teens”

Intrepid ED News Article by Dr. Sharon Saline


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Overcoming Negative Thinking: 5 Tips for Adults with ADHD

group of friends eating outdoorsHave you ever noticed how people with ADHD, regardless of their age, remember, the negative things people say about them more than the positive? While all human brains are wired for the negativity bias, the minds of those with ADHD seem particularly vulnerable to holding on to what is “bad” about them. Most likely, this pattern developed over many years of criticism for not remembering things, not doing things properly, not controlling themselves, etc. Our ancestors needed the ability to learn and remember lessons from bad experiences for survival. People today, however, need to learn how to retain lessons from good experiences. This positive reinforcement helps us grow, learn new skills and be self-confident–all important contributors to a fulfilling life. If you find that your negative thinking is getting in the way of a more positive outlook, know that change is possible. Read on to learn about 5 approaches that will help ADHD adults overcome negative thinking and lead a more rewarding and productive life.

Focus on beneficial experiences

mother and daughter laughing togetherPositive, beneficial experiences not only serve as the foundation of self-esteem and self-management, but they also nourish inner strengths. In order for the good moments to outmaneuver the negativity bias, they have to be installed in the brain’s neural structures. This process requires being held in the working memory long enough to be transferred to the long-term memory. Folks with ADHD, by definition, usually struggle with working memory challenges. So, this transfer doesn’t occur as frequently as we would like, if at all. So the key is to focus on positive thoughts and experiences more frequently. By gradually increasing these good moments, you will get to that “long enough” period to reverse the negativity bias. Then, you can live in the power of ‘yet’ instead of the shadow of ‘can’t.’ By accepting that life is a series of taking reasonable risks, weighing the costs and the benefits of things, and being spontaneous when the time is right, you turn up the volume on optimism and confidence. You pay more attention to what is going well and your innate talents. This process helps you build resources to assist you when the going gets tough. You learn to distinguish between real threats and distortions that mimic them. So how do you actually lower the noise of the negativity bias?

5 approaches to overcome negative thinking for adults with ADHD

1. Slow down

man sleeping in hammockWhen something good happens, relish it. In our ultra fast-paced world, everyone moves on to the next thing so quickly, that the important integration needed to consolidate memory can be missed. Slow down by taking a more mindful approach to your day. As the saying goes, stop and smell the roses. Release the pressure to stay focused by allowing your mind to wander. Take time to notice when something feels good, and reflect on that experience. Maybe you enjoyed your favorite lunch in the park. Perhaps a coworker complimented you on a job well done. Or, you’re simply feeling good on this day and looking forward to seeing a movie with a friend later. Catch these positive feelings in the moment, and savor them.

2. Reflect on the day’s highs and lows

Practice doing ‘highs and lows of the day’ at dinner with friends or family. If others aren’t around, try journaling, or find a comfortable spot for self-reflection. By doing this exercise, you create a safe place to hold both the positive and negative occurrences simultaneously–giving them equal weight. This process will help build new, essential neural pathways.  To avoid dwelling on the lows too long, try to think of an actionable way to bounce back or learn from a negative situation. This will help build your resilience and boost confidence. Here are a couple examples of positive turnabouts: high and low nob positioned to high

I was too distracted at work today and didn’t finish what I promised to do. Tomorrow, I will find a quiet place to focus on my project.

I feel bad that I forgot to wish my parents a happy anniversary. I’ll set up a reminder to call them tomorrow morning. I know they will be happy to hear from me, even if I’m a day late.

If daily ‘highs and lows’ are too much to fit in, then do them once a week at regular times, like Sunday dinners. This way, you can reflect on the previous week and set the tone for the week ahead.

3. Seek supportive connections

These days, there’s a lot to be upset about in the world, and we don’t have control over most of it. But, we can control whom we welcome into our lives. We can seek out people who are kind, understanding and supportive. Adults with ADHD benefit from a support system of people who understand your particular challenges. These individuals and communities can prop you up if you’re stuck in a negative mindset. They may be friends, neighbors, relatives or coworkers. Open yourself up to those who will bring positivity and caring into your life. You will create good memories and enjoy positive experiences through strong relationships. These interactions build the neural pathways we are seeking to create, increase inner strengths and foster interpersonal connection. 

4. The mind/body connection

woman smiling with yoga mat and water bottleExercise and physical well-being have a positive impact on our emotions and state of mind. A walk, bike ride or even dancing can improve your mood just as much as it provides you with an energy boost. Yoga and meditation are mindfulness tools which can help you focus and stay positive. Exercising also allows you to take a break from your daily demands. Most importantly, physical activity keeps you away from screens and devices, so your mind can rest and unplug. Make movement a part of your self-care routine, and enjoy the benefits of calm and relaxation.

5. Keep it up with a growth mindset

For ADHD adults, the pull towards negativity and retaining bad experiences is longstanding and ingrained. Reversing the course is an uphill challenge. However, it is possible to improve and be successful with practice and patience. Take things one day at a time, and use a “growth mindset” approach. Simply put, be open to learning from your experiences and changing for the better. See if you can gradually increase the good moments in your day, and keep building them up like a stack of blocks. If you have a setback, acknowledge it. Then dust yourself off to get back on track. Resilience goes a long way in turning a negative mindset to a positive one. So, start building the good today!


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ADDitude Mag – Your Regret Won’t Change the Past. These Tips May Save Your Future.

“Regret is tough to pinpoint. It may feel like sadness, remorse, or disappointment. It may emerge following a missed professional opportunity, oversharing at a cocktail party or yelling at our child for spilling their orange juice. All humans feel regret, but people with ADHD may feel regret more often and more strongly due to struggles with impulse control, emotional regulation, and other executive functioning skills. We regret both the things we did — and the ones wish we had done. “For example, I regret how dysregulated I was going through menopause. There were times when I absolutely did not handle myself well. Once, I lost my temper because my daughter wasn’t wearing a warm enough coat before going to First Night festivities on a frigid New Year’s Eve. Another time, I stormed off when my son asked me for help studying for a history test and then repeatedly criticized the questions I asked him. Honestly, it’s hard to remember these moments and practice self-compassion and forgiveness. I just want to shake my younger self and shriek “What were you thinking?” I dearly wish I’d made other choices.”

Read the full article!

“Your Regret Won’t Change the Past. These Tips May Save Your Future.”

Article by Dr. Sharon Saline on ADDitude.com

ADDitude Mag – Flow State vs. Hyperfocus: On Channeling Your Unsteady ADHD Attention

What is considered flow state vs. hyperfocus for people with ADHD? “Are there any differences between being hyperfocused and being in a flow state? Yes! A hyperfocused ADHD brain is completely absorbed in its task — to the point of seemingly ignoring or tuning out everything else. Some people describe hyperfocus as a dream-like state wherein the outside world ceases to exist. A child in hyperfocus [vs. a flow state] may become too engrossed in a video game to hear his parents call his name. An adult in hyperfocus may be reading a book so intently that they lose track of time and miss an appointment. Some neurotypical people may occasionally experience a hyperfocus-like state. However, it occurs more often in people with conditions that reflect attention issues, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism spectrum disorder (ASD).”

Read the full article!

“Flow State vs. Hyperfocus: On Channeling Your Unsteady ADHD Attention”

Article by Dr. Sharon Saline on ADDitude.com

Psychology Today: ADHD and Productive Procrastination

“Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with dreaded tasks that you do anything else instead of beginning them? Does it seem like you’re running in place and not getting where you want to go? Instead of calling yourself “lazy” or a “slacker,” consider that many people with ADHD struggle with procrastination. Whether it’s wanting things to be perfect—and not starting something because you can’t get it that way—avoiding a dreaded task that seems miserable, or going to the car wash instead of writing the report that’s due tomorrow, if you have ADHD, you have natural executive functioning challenges related to initiation, motivation, and goal-directed persistence.” Read the full article by Dr. Saline!

“ADHD and Productive Procrastination: How to stop delaying and get to the main task.”

By Dr. Sharon Saline on Psychology Today